So I love my boyfriend,but he doesn't trust me at all,at the start of our relationship it was perfect,but I lied about some things to make myself sound "more appealing" to him and obv he found out and now I feel really bad but we sorted all that out,and I haven't done it since but he doesn't believe me and obv he doesn't believe anything I say anymore,we know we love each other,and we keep saying that we're going to get through this and I know that trust can take years to build back up again but it doesn't seem to be improving at all and I know this is all my fault,but I have no idea how to make it better someone help please ?

After a trust of honesty has been broken in a relationship, it can take a long time for that trust to be re-established. Time and most importantly honesty are the only two ways to regain it. If your boyfriend has forgiven it enough to stay into the relationship with you, and give it another chance, then all you can do is give it time and stay honest. It seems apparent he truly loves you. He found out the truth about you and is still with you. That should show you that you do not need to exaggerate about yourself to attract someone. You probably have many positive aspects about yourself that are attractive enough to begin and sustain a relationship.

It's up to you to regain his trust by not lying to him.

When someone lies to me, I usually never trust another thing that comes out of their mouth, heck, most times, they're gone.

Thank you for both your comments,you are both correct.Thanks for your help :)

I have a rm who is a compulsive liar. Her description of herself:
A hot triple D who can't keep guys off her. She's the envy of all her friends and she's been raped at least 3 times to where the point a handsome ripped guy would come to her rescue and she has the best stuff though her mom abuses her and knocks her down stairs.

The truth: A 350 midget with nothing appealing except for her expensive car her mom bought her with nothing to show she has been through anything, but a pampered life.

Truth: I don't believe one word that comes out of her mouth. It's hard to believe her. I see where he's coming from but also where you are too. Only honesty and time will tell. Best of luck.

Thankyouu and yeah I know where he's coming from too because I can't expect him to believe me after I've lied to him seeing as he will never know weather I'm doing it again because there is noway it can be proven

As others have already said, trust is incredibly important in a relationship.
You rarely realise how it is important until it's been broken.

Clearly, you need to work at rebuilding that trust. This is your personal responsibility because you were the one that lied. However, your partner should be trying to meet you half way - is there a reason he continues to distrust you?

If your partner is holding on to distrust, then there must be a reason. Perhaps he feels really offended or hurt by your lies. Perhaps he has lost respect for you. Perhaps he feels cheated because you are not what you made yourself out to be. Perhaps he finds it difficult to trust people and this is the big test for him. Perhaps, perhaps.

In any case you will need to explore these reasons in more depth because trust is a two way street. I suspect that the longer he continues to make this a problem in your relationship the greater the chance of you losing respect for and trust in him.

Instead of continuing to argue about this issue, why don't you talk about it calmly and sensibly. Let him know that you love him and that you will make the changes required so that he can trust you. Now, ask him to meet you half way - he has to suspend distrust so that the relationship can progress to the next level. Suggest that you have a 3 month trial and then review how you're going.

Take it slowly, it does take time, but both of you need to be committed to the process.

I think you owe it to your boyfriend to do whatever it takes for him to trust you. You started in a bad way. You lied to make yourself "more appealing" to him. Was that lie the reason why he was attracted to you? You didn't have enough self-confidence to take a chance that he would be attracted to you on his own, so you manipulated him.

It is my opinion that lying is a skill that is not given up easily. Maybe you can reassure your boyfriend by giving him additional information when you suspect he doesn't believe you.

He's continues to disbelieve me because he had a relationship where it happened in the past and he was really hurt by it so it takes a lot for him to trust anyone,but its gotten to the stage now that I'll say that I'm watching TV or that I'm talking to him on the phone in the livingroom and he won't believe that and I don't blame him one little bit but he says that he isn't giving up because he loves me and wants to stay with me which I want too

That makes it even harder, he was previously hurt in a relationship by lies, and then you lied to him. It will immediately make him think of the previous relationship. Maybe seeing a counselor together will help, but I'm with Alten, once someone lies, they are extremely lucky if they stay in my life, and even more rare is if they stay as my spouse.

Yeah I know I feel very lucky that he decided to stay with me,which is why I'm determind to make him happy again and prove to him that I can be trusted it just seems to not be improving at all at the moment its like we can have an amazing day and then something happens which he doesn't believe me on which makes him sit and think about the fact that he doesn't trust me at all and yeah a counsellor is a good idea although I don't think he would like that idea at all :/

Look, in the end you can turn yourself inside out for him and do everything in your power to get him to trust you. The fact is, we can't 'get' anyone to do anything unless they want to.

As I said before, the ball's in his court now - he has to take make the decision to trust you and commit to working on it together. Otherwise, it just becomes his way of controlling you and making you feel bad.

Just curious as to what you mean by him not trusting you. What did you do, and how does he show he doesn't trust you now?

Love is based on trust. You can't love someone if there is no trust.

He will tell me that he doesn't,its like he feels that he can't trust me because he isn't sure that I will do it again and he doesn't want to get hurt if I do so he puts a sort of guard up to stop it from happening which just puts distance between us more than anything :/

Have you not been listening? We already told you if there is no trust there is no relationship. So why are you still pondering over this? He can't trust you, you can't make him feel any differently. Would you want to be with someone who can't trust you? I know I cant.

Well If I didn't I wouldn't be bothering to try would I,I do apologize for not giving up.

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Originally Posted by sammeh182

well If I didnt I wouldnt be bothering to try would I,I do apologize for not giving up.

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Well you said he's not trusting you not you're not trusting him so I don't know which one it is.

Its your life, do what you want. We're just telling you from past experience and I know every situation is different and it shouldn't base your decisions on what other people say you should, but the base of it is all the same. You ll just find things the hard way, but you've just been repeating the same thing over and over again.

Maybe its because you haven't gotten the answers that you want but some of us have been through similar situations and we see things differently afterwards when all the drama is gone.

Also, a relationship takes two people to make it work, if you are the only one trying all the time, you ll just end up being really tired.