So me and my ex girlfriend broke up about 2 and a half months ago. We were dating for 2 years. I lost my job and got depressed and wasn't even taking care of myself so she left me. She started dating this new guy. He is a loser. Well Im back in college now and I work full time and I got all my together. She called me a few weeks ago. We talked a lot and we hung out a few times. Well last night she told me she broke up with this other guy. I told her well that's cool. Take some time and get your stuff together. She broke up with me and rushed into another relationship like 1.5 weeks later. Id have to say rebound. But I guess what I'm asking is should I pursue another relationship with my ex girlfriend if she wants to. She brought me back into her life and broke up with this other guy. I haven't been hounding her to do it or anything. Just simply told her if you don't take action soon I'm leaving forever. And I gave her like 2 weeks to make a choice. I was just simply off track. We had a wonderful relationship for 2 years. The occasional disagreement and all that, but 90% of the time it was amazing. Should I honestly give her the time of day seeing she left me for all the wrong reasons?

She wasn't loyal, broke the trust, didn't care how you felt and on top of that dated another guy. She left you once and won't hesistate to do so again. If you get back with her, you will just end up having to go through the break up process again after all the hard work to get over it the first time. Seen it happened so many times! You have been warned. Make the right decision and find someone better than her.

Seems you may be only remembering the good times.

When you were down and out, she was out the door.

Also seems like she can't be alone, needs a man at all times.

Proceed with caution.

Threads merged

Back in February my girlfriend broke up with me. Since then I have gotten a new job and have been doing really good for myself. Well lately my ex girlfriend has been wanting to hang out and all that. I have been very iffy to hang out with her and talk to her. Very unsure if I want to get back together with her. So this new girl got hired at my work. I went to middle school and high school with this girl. We were never really friends. Well I ended up training her. So today she is like what is your number. So I gave it to her. After work I went over to her house for the better part of 5 hours and we talked. So Im asking does this girl that I went to high school with maybe be interested in me? Or did she just want to hang out for s and giggles. I mean she asked me for my number. I did not expect it.

Funny I had this situation a few mounths ago when I started work this guy who was super hot trained me but we didn't go to school to gether and after like 4 mouths I gave him my number and now he drives me home we hang out for giggles sometimes I was sort of interested in him but we haven't done anythink I don't think but he has started hanging out with his girl friend so I backed up so if she's anythink like me shell back up give you spaceand move on as you should I say be friends with your ex and be friends with the girl

You need to ask the girl what are her intentions. I don't know why she wanted to hang up with you--for fun, as friends, something more? Only she knows and it's okay to pick her brain.

Now regarding your ex--leave that chapter closed. Sometimes you have to leave the past in the past.

I agree with Liz, sometimes the past is better left in the past. Besides you feel iffy about it... that's the first sign that its not a good idea. So follow your gut on your x.

If you don't want to hang out with her and such (or even be friends and have contact) that's okay to.

As for the new girl, well she might be, but anything I say on the subject will be guess work (lol it might even be bad guess work)... so like Liz said, you could always ask her what her intentions are... that way you know for sure and you can decide whether that something you're interested in...

On a side note, I'm happy for you, that you're doing good for yourself and seem to be in a good place.

Best of luck

Roxy

Joke about it with her. Ask her how she feels about dating people at work? She'll give her answer. If is is yes she's for it and is all smiles then and you get a good vide joke with her and say, "great, I'm gonna need you to help me out with some of the girls at work, who do you think would be a good fit for me?" If she says no it's not a good idea, say "great I was going to ask Jan (replace Jan with someone who you actually work with, unless you work with a Jan then use her, unless you don't want to use her but use someone else instead. I really shouldn't have had to tell you this, though, sometimes you just have to take the iniative) but Jan can get a little over protective and I didn't want to create any difficult situations.

Ask her out for lunch, I don't see any harm in it. I've never had a girl give me her number to be just friends, especially at work. If you need help, my recent ex, we worked together. She thought I was hot, we joked around at work(different departments) and one day she sent me a text after getting my number from a mutual friend. My fiancé now, we met at work as well(don't work together anymore) I put my number in her phone after we had been talking for like 2 weeks at work. We talked on the phone for about 2 weeks(also at work) and we just clicked.

Threads merged

Well I'm so torn in every which way. I was dating my ex girlfriend for 2.5 years. We broke up about 7 months ago. Well last week she texted me and said I can finally have my stuff I left at her house back. I was pissed she texted me of course, I said mail it and that was all. Well she kept texting me and calling me so finally after 2 days I gave in and we had breakfast. After that things have been moving at the speed of light. She broke up with her boyfriend she had. Told me she was madly in love with me and always has been. I do love her and do miss her. Dating her has changed my life for the better. I did no contact for months. And she contacted me. Think her intentions are pure. She said she wants to be with me. And she has always seen her future with me. We honestly did make the perfect couple. Reason we broke up in the first place was over stupid small things that could have been fixed and avoided. Should I pursue and give are relationship another chance?

Yes, give her another chance, but go slow, and be cautious.

I think it is worth it to try again for several reasons. She had broken up with you, then she dated somebody else. Then she broke up with him, and contacted you again. She wasn't playing two men at the same time with affairs or lies.

You had a good relationship as you said, but broke up over little things. Time away from each other would have had you both thinking about how petty that likely was, but on the other hand, communication and maturity at the time could have fixed things. Instead it resulted in a split.

It is quite possible that her now ex, was the fallback guy. She realized that the grass was not greener, and he was lacking in the qualities you have, and your relationship with her was more meaningful. Sometimes that's what it takes. You lose something that turns out to be the best thing in your life, and it was a mistake to leave in the first place.

That she has such strong feelings for you still, and you also do toward her, I see no reason why you shouldn't try again.

Just be careful.

Yea I will take it slow. See how everything goes. I appreciate your advice. Thank you.

Good luck and hope it works out for you.

sounds to me like you are in the picture because her latest 7 month fling didn't work. Of course, I could be wrong... but I dated my X on and off for years and we broke up as long as 1 year. We got back together, had amazing chemistry, blah blah, and after 6 or 7 months things were right back to normal. Yah it feels great to know that your X misses you, loves you, and chooses you over some other guy.. but you basically gave her a 7 month free hall pass to bang some other dude. And now you are taking her back like it doesn't matter... when you marry someone, things don't work that way.. so be careful to what you are getting into... I hope it works out for you, but I just see you as the fallback guy... what happens when then next breakup happens and she actually meets a good guy who doesn't flake out in 7 months (or maybe she flaked out to him and he was smart enough to say, screw this I'm out). Just be careful... Take it slow.. and from the sound of it, the speed of lightning, is not slow... I'm sure you are back to full swing like nothing has changed.. just be careful, that is really dangerous because nothing has been resolved.


edit: I read the little backstory "iwish" posted.. and it also sounds like a case of the, you aren't good enough cause you don't have a job, or a car, or your fat, or your not in school.

then you pressured her into committing because YOU wanted her to (or I'll leave forever) instead of her committing because she missed you and loved you.. be careful! You are forcing her into this, and convincing her you have changed... instead of changing for yourself and leaving her in the dust, you changed for her and are making her choose you or never again.

I read your whole story twice after merging them, and I get the impression you would settle for any one to be with right now. That worries me a bit, as usually there is an underlying feeling, or issue that's personal to you, that needs to be dealt with, before you can have a healthy adult relationship.

Until you can be a lot happier with yourself, stay out of relationships, and have something besides this female who left when things got tough, in your life.

I wouldn't be in any hurry to just fall back into something right now.

Take care of just you first. Go very slow for your own good. I think your both emotionally needy.

So your ex went out with someone else and when and only when that didn't work out for her, she deemed you good enough?

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Originally Posted by talaniman

I read your whole story twice after merging them, and I get the impression you would settle for any one to be with right now. That worries me a bit, as usually there is an underlying feeling, or issue thats personal to you, that needs to be dealt with, before you can have a healthy adult relationship.

Until you can be a lot happier with yourself, stay out of relationships, and have something besides this female who left when things got tough, in your life.

I wouldn't be in any hurry to just fall back into something right now.

Take care of just you first. Go very slow for your own good. I think your both emotionally needy.

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I will disagree with your above statement my friend. I have worked on myself... alot. We have been broken up for 7 months. What else do you think I have been doing? Ive dated other people a bit. Im currently very happy with myself. With or without her I am happy. She is just a bonus into my life.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by my87

i will disagree with your above statement my friend. I have worked on myself...alot. We have been broken up for 7 months. What else do you think I have been doing? Ive dated other people a bit. Im currently very happy with myself. With or without her I am happy. She is just an added bonus into my life.

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It's good that you're happy with yourself now and that she's a bonus. But that's the point. You just got your life together, do you really want to mess that up?

We're just trying to remind you that she gave you a lot of grief and warning you not to fall back into the same trap.

Just take things slow. No need to rush anything and ruining all the great progress you've made so far.

Working on yourself is great; in fact it's the best thing you could have done for yourself and I commend you for it. But getting back with her implies that you did it for her (i.e. before you weren't good enough but now you are).

What makes her worth this? Has she worked on herself? Or is she exactly the same as when she left you but with a couple extra notches on her bedpost?