Ask Me Help Desk - Sole custody

Sole custody

Hey,
My baby's father has not seen her since she was 2 months. She is now 14 months and he has called once and shows no interest in her. She is my whole world and I love her to death. I filed for child support but have not received any. I want sole custody and child support. He even asked for me to change her last name to mine because he doesn't want anything to do with her. I have several people to testify when I go to court to prove that he hasn't tried to help or contact me, even his family will testify. I need to know what to do to get sole custody of my daughter and get child support/retro support. He is not allowed to have over night visitation because his mother has a lot of mental issues and his father is in jail for weapon possession. My ex was also molested by his mother when he was younger and I don't feel comfortable with my daughter being around him or his girlfriend unsupervised. What can I do??

Quote:

Originally Posted by Melanie1259

what can i do????

Hire a lawyer and let him/her handle it.

I don't have enough money to hire a lawyer...

Unfortunately that is what it is going to take. Are you in the states?

Yes I live in Florida. Like I said I'm a single mother. I got into a car accident and my back has a herniated and torn disc (L5-S1) hurts soooo bad. I am trying to get into college, support, my daughter, and deal with my back all by myself.(well my nana helps out with doing the dishes and laundry for me and my boyfriend does help out by changing daipers and giving her a bath every once in a while.

There are a lot of posts like this on the family law board. You might want to check there and see if there is anything already posted that might be relevant to your question.

There's not a lot with my circumstances. All those are just sole custody. I have a lot of other factors including her fathers parents.
Thanks though

Quote:

Originally Posted by Melanie1259

i filed for child support but have not recieved any. i want sole custody and child support. ... he is not allowed to have over night visitation

Quote:

Originally Posted by Melanie1259

Theres not alot with my circumstances {Ed: the Family Law forum}. all those are just sole custody. i have alot of other factors including her fathers parents.
thanks though

First I moved this to the Family Law forum where it should have been posted. This is a legal issue not a child rearing issue.

Second, your circumstances are not that unusual and there are plenty of threads here that have advice for you.

From your first post it appears you have gone to court to get child support and visitation orders. What custody was ordered by the court? I suspect it was joint legal and primary physical.

If the father has said he wants nothing to do with the child then why do you need to do anything? That would mean that you have effective sole custody. Or do you want to cut off any visitation as well?

But the bottom line is you need to file for a modification of the custody/visitation order if you want to change it. Do you have enough grounds to do so and win? It would seem so.

But I have to moralize a bit here. We see so many questions like this. The father is an abuser or has mental challenges or his family has issues etc. etc. Yet none of this stopped you from having sex with him. I'm not just saying that to moralize though. Because the court is going to ask the same question. They are going to ask why you had sex with a guy whose father is in jail, mother is mental, was abused as a child, etc. So you need to have a good answer to that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Melanie1259

hey,
my babys father has not seen her since she was 2 months. she is now 14 months and he has called once and shows no interest in her. she is my whole world and i love her to death. i filed for child support but have not recieved any. i want sole custody and child support. he even asked for me to change her last name to mine because he doesnt want anything to do with her. i have several people to testify when i go to court to prove that he hasnt tried to help or contact me, even his family will testify. i need to know what to do to get sole custody of my daughter and get child support/retro support. he is not allowed to have over night visitation because his mother has alot of mental issues and his father is in jail for weapon possesion. my ex was also molested by his mother when he was younger and i dont feel comfortable with my daughter being around him or his girlfriend unsupervised. what can i do????

Another thing here is that since you have already filed with the courts for support then your support order is " active " from the day its entered into the system. So as far as " retro " support that portion is called arrears. As of right now he is in arrears.. so if there is someone who is responsible ( like an agency ) for collecting the child support then you need to tell them to go after him for contempt of court ( violation of court orders for child support ). They can actually put him in jail if he doesn't comply. But as far as the support goes if he's not paying it then your not going to be collecting anything. It just goes into past due ( arrears ).

Please don't keep opening threads for the same question. Any follow-up should be posted to this thread using the Answer This Question options.