Hi, I’m a guy and I’m 15. I’m a generally shy guy as I’ve inherited it from my father so I don’t know if I can change it. However in front of girls, I am extremely shy and nervous. I really do mean incredibly nervous and I hate it.

There is this girl in my school and classes who I really really like. We are relatively good friends and use to talk quite a lot, but in the last year or so, shyness has seemed to overpower me and its got to the point where I can’t look her in the eye. She makes an effort to try and make conversation, but in return my efforts are useless and it puts me in an awkward guilty position. Where we haven’t talked for sometime, I get the feeling that she thinks I’m ignoring her and I feel so bad and down hearted.

We have many similarities as we both do a lot of running, we are in many of the same classes and we are both intelligent. We train together as well. I am unsure about my looks, but some girls have quoted me “alright” or “not bad”

So I have this issue with all girls where I “breakdown” in front of them, but this particular girl I really want things to flow

Any answers are most appreciated

If you really like this girl. And you are really that shy. I would say to write her a letter and let her know what's going on. That way she will not think you are ignoring her. Give it to her on a Friday at school. That way you will not have to talk to her in person. Put your phone number in it and have her call you on the weekend. If she is really into you as a boyfriend you can descuse it on the phone and not face to face. Then if all goes well you will have nothing to be shy about the following Monday at school

Hey
I hear about this problem a lot. I know it's easier said than done, but keep up your amazing efforts at this. One idea is to take it one step at a time, and gradually get more into it. Like, just say hello first, and get comfortable with that. Then start to ask questions. Like "What's up?" Then, once you're comfortable, go on from there. I know it sounds basic, but I'm REALLY shy around guys, and it's worked for me. Hope this helps! :)

OK thanks guys

Welcome to the shy guy club. Hopefully you'll figure out how to get over it sooner than I did, lol.

Here's the deal: Just talk. Not constant flirtatious talk, not always alluding to the fact you like her, but just talk. If she says hello, say hello back and be friendly. Before suddenly emptying your thoughts on her you should be comfortable with her. Say you write a letter or tell her how you feel, say she returns the feelings and you make a verbal agreement to 'go out', that's awesome. However, if you're not comfortable with her then you're going to still be that way when you're 'dating'. So you will have to talk and be comfortable sooner or later, start now.

You need to build your confidence with her and the more comfortable you are the more confident you'll be. To get confident in an awkward situation you need to put yourself in that awkward situation as much as possible. There's no one line or single piece of advice anyone can give you to snap you out of being shy. To get over it I just talked and talked to any girl I was remotely interested in and FINALLY I stopped being nervous about it. That's all there is to it.

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
-Wayne Gretzky

Also, don't wait for the perfect moment. Life is fantastic in the fact it's never 'really' going to give you one. Make your own luck, you're full of potential. Start now, put yourself in those situations you run from and start making them your new comfort zone. Just do it! You'll never fail because each time you screw up you'll learn what not to do. That's just another step towards success! Plus, it sounds like she's your friend and she'll enjoy someone who goofs up once and again more than someone who doesn't talk or hang out.

I'm a 15 year old guy

I just can't talk to girls

My confidence is really rock bottom in front of them and so was my Dads so I don't know if I can change it

There's one girl in particular that I really like but my shyness and poor confidence is pulling us apart

I get really down when all my friends are flirting with girls and I get left out because I'm too shy in front of them

Any ideas?

Listen mate, confidence is a state of mind. You can do anything if you put your mind towards it. The best way, in my opnion, is to pretend your somebody else and put yourself in their shoes. Go find your favourite movie star/ action hero and go and do what they would do. Girls love arrogant, dominant and funny men. It really is easy to approach girls and hold conversations with them, you may not get it at first. But the good news is you can learn this with practice, and just because your dad didn't have any confidence doesn't mean you can't! :D

Girls love confident men, but I have never seen a girl that likes an arrogant man. You don't need to pretend to be someone you aren't, that is the opposite of what you are supposed to do. Be yourself, and have zero expectations. They are humans to, so talk to them, listen to them and go from there. Don't be something you aren't. Practice makes perfect, and you should also consider other things that naturally build yourself confidence. What is it about you that you don't like?

If you aren't too sure about yourself, you should not be worrying about a relationship right now. It's not fair to you or your potential mate, and will just lead to more problems down the road.

Sort yourself, realize that you are an amazing person and that you don't need another person to tell you that, and then you can be open to finding a compatible mate.

How are you supposed to know what to look for in someone else if you don't what what to look for in yourself?

~ Tee

Build up some courage and approach her.

Strike up a conversation. Ask for an opinion of something and see where it goes.

They like funny guys, and be yourself around them. There is someone out there that will love you for who you are so you don't need to pretend to be something your not.