Hi all,

Just came across this message board post (below), it is a bit long but really hits home a lot of reasons you shouldn't contact your ex or perhaps even try to get them back until you have the time to really understand why you broke up in the first place! It really helped me very very much to understand why I should just let things be between me and my ex. Even if we do miss each other!

No contact with ex for 2 1/2 months and yesterday I find a letter at my door...what should I do? - eNotAlone

This would be good to add to the "Things to do after a break up" sticky :)

I skimmed through those 50 pages. Here's the gist for everybody else.

Girl breaks up with guy.
Guy begs her back for months, says he'll change.
They get back together.
Things are well at first.
He, according to her, never really changed.
Break up starts over again.

Well, I agree with the OP's original assessment that this is why you don't break contact, I have to say by her own words I felt like after she got back with him, she was using him a lot to her advantage. At one point she states, he said "Why do anything for you, when I don't get the same back." I could kind of see that going on before it was said.

He was trying way to hard and she had her walls up so the second time was really over before it ever started.

Throw it in the fireplace. Reading it will only trigger things and possibly impedes your progress.

When things are not worth looking back, do not dare reading it!

That was not good... I just read it...

This must have been the stupidest thing I've done in my whole life...

Do not read it...

BTW AMHD IS SO MUCH MORE AWESOMER THAN THAT SITE =P

Why? We give good advice!! We have experts to keep us on track. That site is full of people not knowing what they are talking about. Might be one or 2 who does but she always goes for the majority and the majority doesn't!

AMHD provides tough love not pity pills!

Lesson - Never break NC after a break up! When the relationship is over... move on!! There is a reason why it ended in the first place. Don't go through hell twice!!

Yah Chuff. AMHD provides right answers from people who are experienced and wise. Finished reading. I was happy she finally made the right decision in the end!

Do you think, it would have been possible for someone to actually work out that second chance and have a happy ending? O_O

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Originally Posted by none12345

That was not good..... i just read it.....

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No. No it was not.

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Originally Posted by none12345

This must have been the stupidest thing i've done in my whole life..... [

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All 50 pages of that? Wow. After the third page I saw exactly where it was going so I jumped ahead until they got back together. I read about there first date in 6 months and she wrote every pain inducing detail.

Then... because I knew exactly where this was headed I jumped towards the end and low and behold she wasn't happy and he wasn't happy, so it was all for nothing.

I'm not sure if was the stupiest thing you've ever done... but it probably was the biggest waste of time.

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Originally Posted by none12345

Do not read it....

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This can not be stressed enough.

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Originally Posted by none12345

BTW AMHD IS SO MUCH MORE AWESOMER THAN THAT SITE =P

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I'm glad you said that. When I was reading the first 3 pages I was just stunned at how bad that advice was. I mean you will always have some but it was everybody.

I was just thinking, "has nobody here been in a relationship because it sounds like a bunch of high schoolers who have no idea what they are talking about.

Here you get the real deal. It isn't always pretty, but it is always true. That's the problem with relationships, you need clear minded people to steer you right when you can't and those people had no idea what they were talking about.

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Originally Posted by none12345

Why? We give good advice!!! We have experts to keep us on track. That site is full of people not knowing what they are talking about. Might be one or 2 who does but she always goes for the majority and the majority doesnt!!

AMHD provides tough love not pity pills!!

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I see you thought the same as I did.

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Originally Posted by none12345

Lesson - Never break NC after a break up! When the relationship is over.... move on!!! There is a reason why it ended in the first place. Dont go through hell twice!!!

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If she would have just come here, we could have told her and saved her a year and 50 pages of that.