Are you friend with all your ex b/g friends? My good friend is friends with her ex boyfriends and it like a game to her. She tells me how they want to get with her but she don't really want them and she see them as just a friend. I told her that they don't see her as a friend and she knows it. She is say but yeah I am in control so it don't matter. The guys did not treat her right in the relationship. I think it is stupid. If you are friends with the ex then it should be just that. I told her they want some a/ss they are not just taking you to get something to eat. She let one of them eat her out in a car and of course he wants to take it all the way. She thinks it is cute. I don't get it.

My thing is that if you are friends with your ex, it should be just that. I am friends with some of my ex's but we are friends. We both know what time it is?

What do you think?

I personally have never spoken to any of my ex's ever again after breaking up with them.

From my experiences staying friends with an ex is very hard emotionally. Not just because of lingering feelings but also general awkwardness.

That is what I think.

I don't get it. I have a couple of ex I am friend with but truthfully we were very close while we were together to to point that I can't be friends.

One guy I can't be friends with because I still care a lot about him. No need to be friends if you still care.

One of the guys she don't even like as a person... that is the one that ate her out... and she calls herself being friends with him... she gets a thrill out of him eating her and not giving him any sex.

The other two are married.

I don't get it

I'm not sure how old your friend is but her need to court male attention in this manner and play these kind of games is not healthy. She has a history of bad relationships and it's probably because she attracts the wrong kind of attention and thinks that attention is positive when it's really just degrading.
These aren't 'friendships' she has with these guys, and while she may feel 'in control', her behavior could potentially put her in some really bad situations where she gets taken advantage of.

I have one ex prior my ex husband and I don't know where he is or anything- I treated him pretty badly in the end and made him cry so I can see why we don't talk.

I talk to my ex husband though... only because we have a daughter together.

Sarah

I'm wondering if the question shouldn't be more, 'why are you friends with people who are intellectually and morally bankrupt'.

Why do you need friends like that in the first place.

This isn't so much about her behaviour, but why you have this friendship going on in the first place.

I can not be friends with my X.. As my view is.. if you don't love me or want to be with me.. why are you worth my time? I'm not going to plat your hair and talk to you about your new boyfriends... and go well you know hun..

I think you should do this..

bah.. if they leave you or you break up for whatever reason. Then its meant to be
plus being friends with your X can mess you up in finding someone new, because

Now I'm not saying all are like this. But some have the view of.. if I can't be with you.. or if I don't want to be with you no one else will.
like a power trip thing..


There are yes.. some X that get on famously.. but that happens once in a blue moon

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Originally Posted by shazamataz

I personally have never spoken to any of my ex's ever again after breaking up with them.

From my experiences staying friends with an ex is very hard emotionally. Not just because of lingering feelings but also general awkwardness.

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I agree.

I have a boyfriend now who when we started dating talked to all of his exes. I guess over the years as he would meet a new g/f he would continue talking to the old ones. And he got to me (g/f #4) he was still talking to his 3 exes. Personally for me I never spoke to an ex boyfriend after we dated probably small talk or something when we ran into each other because I usually have mutual friends with my ex boyfriends but other than that.. nothing. So I wasn't sure whether I wanted to start dating my new boyfriend because I felt that he still had feeling for his exes because in my mind I feel the only way you need to talk to en ex is if your have a child together or you have unfinished business ( your not over each other). He told me he didn't have any feelings for them. So I felt he knew himself better than I knew him (in addition to the fact that I never met anyone who still talked to their exes) I started dating him. Welllllllll the whole time we were together I felt that he still had feelings. First he tells me he sometimes misses his first g/f, then tells me his second g/f wants him back and thennnnnn tells me that he cheated on his third g/f with his second. That his second cheated on him and all three of them broke up with him. Unless your willing to accept the fact that keeping in touch with your ex might mean that you still have feelings for them then the friendship is pointless if your going to stay in denial the whole time.

I'm friends with a few of my exes, but it took many years to get there.

I think it's because we were young when we dated and now we're grownups have spouses, kids, etc. that we are able to be friends.

There is one ex that is a really good friend of mine, but yes, it's just friendship. We don't talk about our past relationship, besides it was over 20 years ago, no sense looking back that far. We're better friends then we were lovers so it works.

He's also a good friend of hubby's. There is a line that you simply don't cross if you decide to be friends with an ex, if you can't stay on your side of the line then it's time to end all contact.

It all depends on the people involved and what their motives are.

I'm OK with most of them. But the 'important' ones? F**k no!

Im only friends with 2 ex's and both those friendships arose after a few years of not speaking and they're only casual friends.

I have to say a resounding no.
I would not even share the same oxgyen space.
I actually look back and think'what the hell was I thinking!'

I feel bad, as I never had a chance to be friends with any of my exes, what a shame. What did I miss?

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Originally Posted by talaniman

I feel bad, as I never had a chance to be friends with any of my exes, what a shame. What did I miss??

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But we're friends Tal. Oops. ;)