My boyfriend keeps splitting up with me?

I have been with my boyfriend nearly fours years, only the past year and half it has been unstready, on Friday 13th he split with me, it killed me because it came out of the blue, and not long before he did, he even said how well we had been getting on, but his for for splitting was because we kept falling out, because he never wants to talk through or problems to sort them to make thing better because I truly love this guy. But now today he has split with me again, now its because he says he no longer wants to be in a relationship, I think what brought this on is that I said I feel unloved and unwanted an that it may not be working out, I didn't mean for us to split, he just lately doesn't seem interested in me, but this has really shocked me because yesterday he was OK and a few weeks back was saying for us to book our holiday for next year? But only yesterday he lost his job which he never told me about which really shocked me, he rang his mate straight away but never mentioned anything to me, if I knew he was under so much stress I would have been there for him, but like I said he never speaks to me about anything? Help!

Can anyone shed any light on to why he is being like this, an is it all my fault? Will he ever want to get back with me or does he just need some space again?

PLease help!

x.x.x

On and off relationships are just too painful. You have no idea when's the next time you will be off again.

It's sad living in fear of when the next "off" will be.

Do yourself a favor and stop this relationship once and for all.

You don't need this kind of drama or inconsistancy. I think you would be better off without someone like this; leaving you, then coming back, then leaving again. Believe me, I've been there, and it is a horrible thing to go through, and you don't deserve it.

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Originally Posted by owenk

My boyfriend keeps splitting up with me?

I have been with my boyfriend nearly fours years, only the past year and half it has been unstready, on Friday 13th he split with me, it killed me because it came out of the blue, and not long before he did, he even said how well we had been getting on, but his for for splitting was because we kept falling out, because he never wants to talk through or problems to sort them to make thing better because i truley love this guy. But now today he has split with me again, now its because he says he no longer wants to be in a relationship, i think what brought this on is that i said i feel unloved and unwanted an that it may not be working out, i didnt mean for us to split, he just lately doesnt seem interested in me, but this has really shocked me because yesterday he was ok and a few weeks back was saying for us to book our holiday for next year? But only yesterday he lost his job which he never told me about which really shocked me, he rang his mate straight away but never mentioned anything to me, if i knew he was under so much stress i would of been there for him, but like i said he never speaks to me about anything? Help!

Can anyone shed any light on to why he is being like this, an is it all my fault? Will he ever want to get back with me or does he just need some space again?

PLease help!

x.x.x

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He seems to need space, I'd advise moving your life in a different direction, as this one seems to be a dead end road. He can't handle being in a relationship as he is putting extra stress on himself to fulfil your needs then you say that you feel he isn't. You may be wise to simply not get back together with him. Get on with your own life, It will be hard, but the thing about love is, it's endless. You'll meet other great guys, so long as you stay true to yourself.

If you keep this break up/ make up relationship, no one will get better, and you will both run the risk of resenting or hating one another.

Sorry due, but unless you want a sketchy relationship, he needs to be left by himslef. He has Mates as you said, and I'm sure he has family. No contact for like at least a year seems a good idea at this point. Get to know yourself again, you never know you may surprise yourself.;)

Peace and kindness be with you.

You said it best when you wrote " he won't communicate with me", without out communication you have nothing. Lack of communication is a quick way to drown a relationship regardless how long the two of you were together.

He might have been stressed maybe even a little depression and this could have made him distant towards you. However this is no excuse. Some people run away from their problems or don't know how to talk to their partner but this is a bad quality to have.

However, on and off again relationship are unhealty and will only leave your emotions soaring. You already knows how he is and what was lacking but he didn't change it so how can you really expect to be with him?

Please read my signature... twice!

My boyfriend split with me Friday, he claims because he does not want to be in a relationship anymore, so OK it hurt but it this has happened a few times in the past.

On the same day he split with me I decided to go out clubbing with my cousin (whos male) some of his mates an my best mate (a girl) I was'nt looking to pull or anything just to have some fun and not think about him.
While I was out his mates were in the same club an must of saw me with my cousin and his mates an texted my ex, at half 12 I had a message of him saying "why do i get the feeling your with a next boy" I told him I was'nt, he then replyed "Who are you out with" and I told him.

:confused:I'm just confused as to why he's asking when he's the one who doesn't want to be with me?
Would it matter if I was with someone else? And its nothing to do with him, and why was he asking who I was with? To me when I read the messages it felt like I was with even though that's sounds mad

But does anybody understand why he messaged me tho's, because I do want him but I don't want to get my hopes up, I just don't no whether to move on, or hang about for him?

:confused:

Help!

x.x.x

When he dumped you he felt like he was in control and to find out hours later it didn't bother you (or at least he thought) and with another guy it peeked his curiosity which lead to the text messages.

At this point he's moved on, and so should you. Continue doing what your doing, and if he texts you again either ignore it or reply that you don't answer to him and tell him to stay out of your business.

You say at this point he's moved on, but has he really if he wants to no who I'm with? Like I'm still with him?

Also when he split with me an I tried to phone, he said "I dont want to talk at the moment!"

Does that mean he will want to talk to me at some point, and if so should I just wait for him to contact me?

He is testing what is the impact of his disappearance from your life but since you already parted ways, whatever he does should not matter anymore. You are starting to pick up the pieces of your life gracefully, keep it up.

He had second thoughts after he found you out partying with another guy, instead of begging him to come back.

That doesn't mean he cares, which he might, but he does need to stew in his own juice, and you need to stay cool, and not be confused by his texts or calls.

I see someone that may be trying to manipulate your feelings, by playing games.

He doesn't like the fact that you were out having a good time, he was probably hoping that you would be at home having a pity party for yourself! He didn't like the fact that you were out with other guys obviously, or he wouldn't have taken the time to ask you who you were with. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying that there is a chance he want's to get back together, it's just the way that couples who have just broken up react when they see or hear about their ex with other people. He doesn't want to be with you but doesn't like the thought of you being with anyone else either.
CHUFF is right you should move on ;)

I agree with the others. He is not wanting to be with you but he doesn't want you to be out having a good time either.
Move on and don't worry about what he thinks or wants.

Yah, he's just jealous doesn't mean he wants you back and yes you should move on. Forget about him and don't contact him, it will always bring you hurt. He is doing it to save him some face. Doesn't want you to be a guy right after him and he looks bad to his friends. He is also being possesive, you and him aren't together anymore so why does it matter to him? Move on and be happy and make your own life without him.

Yet another thread merged, after asking the same question

My boyfriend broke up with me 2 days ago, because he no longer wants to be in a relationship anymore as we were together nearly 4 years.

What I don't understand is how can he love me but no longer wants me?
I no I love him more than anything an he know this, as he has broke up with me many times before but I always go running after him, which won't happen this time.

The last time he split with me (just over a month ago) we had NC for 5 days but I could'nt help myself I rang him an said I missed him that's when he said he'll come mine or I could go his, this time it feels for real now and I am determined not to contact him.

I just feel bad as its my fault he no longer wants to be in a relationship, but I'm holding out for the fact he will contact me saying he does want me but I know he stubborn and that would take a lot for him to do because he is a very closed person an doesn't really tell/talk about how he feels and his feelings


x.x.x.x

Just focus on the last part because that's where future lies. The spark is gone, he's no longer happy and wants to be out.

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Because he is a very closed person an doesn't really tell/talk about how he feels and his feelings

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You guessing at what he feels, and need to deal with how you feel.

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Originally Posted by owenk

Yet another thread merged, after asking the same question

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The answer's aren't going to different somewhere else.

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Originally Posted by owenk

What i dont understand is how can he love me but no longer wants me?

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How do you know he loves you?

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Originally Posted by owenk

I no i love him more than anything an he know this, as he has broke up with me many times before but i always go running after him,

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Is this really love? I won't lie, I've done the same thing and when you head is cloudly with emotions it feels like love, but after the emotions die off and you look at it with a clear head I think it's more the actions of someone in panic and shock.

I'm not going to dispute that you love him, or that some relationships have a moment of heighted problems where you say something stupid or break up. But over and over, so that he can get his jollys off watching you come crawling back? That's not love, that's a weird form of abuse, and I'll even give him credit maybe he doesn't realize it's abuse but as he matures he'll learn that it is. Hopefully you can be mature enough to recognize it now.

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Originally Posted by owenk

which wont happen this time.

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That a girl, strong words let's hold to it.

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Originally Posted by owenk

The last time he split with me (just over a month ago) we had NC for 5 days but i could'nt help myself i rang him an said i missed him thats when he said he'll come mine or i could go his, this time it feels for real now and i am determined not to contact him.

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Well this time, it was him and it was hours later so guess what. Right now you are in the driver's seat. Stay there.

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Originally Posted by owenk

I just feel bad as its my fault he no longer wants to be in a relationship, but i'm holding out for the fact he will contact me saying he does want me but i know he stubborn and that would take a lot for him to do because he is a very closed person an does'nt really tell/talk about how he feels and his feelings


x.x.x.x

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Not sure how this is your fault, unless you were cheating or doing something else you haven't told us.

Just out of curiosity, why are you holding out hope that he'll want to be in a relationship? Because these same steps of

1. Break up
2. Get back together
3. Repeat

Are going to continue happening.

Before he split with me I told how he was making me feel, unloved and unwanted, all he replyed was sorry

So me thinking it was my fault is because maybe if I never said anything this would not have happened an we would still be together...

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Originally Posted by owenk

Before he split with me i told how he was making me feel, unloved and unwanted, all he replyed was sorry

So me thinking it was my fault is because maybe if i never said anything this would not have happened an we would still be together...

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Does that matter? What you could, should, would have done, can not be done now. No matter how much you think about it, or try to do it, you can not go back. Try to let him go, and focus on your life by yourself. You need to forgive yourself too, or the pain will be too much. You did, what you thought was best at the time you did it, now it's time to move on.

Find yourself, and reconnect with your soul, for that is who you truly are. Decide what you want, and don't forget it. "Embrace your dreams"-Angeal