I have been going out with a guy for over a month now and knew before we went out he really liked me and I couldn't quite make up my mind if I did back completely. I decided I would as I thought he was really sweet. Now I still love his personality but am not sure if I actually have romantic feelings for him and don't know whether it's fair to let the relationship continue. To make it worse, we have our school prom in about 8 weeks and I'm going with him, so don't know whether to wait until after, if I dump him, so that neither or us feel awkward because I feel really bad that I don't feel the same about him... or is it just that my feelings will develop the more time we spend together?

So do you think you'll be sparing his feelings by going to the prom with him and dumping him afterwards? -- after he spends spends tons of money on what should be a wonderful night, after he takes pictures to remember the night, after he goes with someone that he thinks cares for him in return?

Sounds cruel to me.

You're in a relationship with someone basically because "he was there". That's not fair to him.

It actually sounds like you're a bit scared that if you break up with him now, that you won't be able to score another date to the prom.

The longer you wait the harder it will be on him. What's worse? Losing your girlfriend of 1 month or losing your girlfriend of 3 months? Putting if off is doing no service to him.

What's the difference between breaking his heart before and after prom?

Prom is an event that he will remember for a long time. If you care about his feelings, don't you think that you should give him the opportunity to go with someone that actually wants to go with him? You really think you should go to prom with a guy that you plan on dumping right after?

Let him go. Stop leading him on. It's not fair to him at all.

You need to be honest NOW, not later. You may still go to the prom together, but its not fair to use that as an excuse, to not talk about it.

Time to grow up. Be completely honest with him. That's just mean to say "wait to dump him then" no matter what you're talking about.

All you have to do is say, "hey, you know, I enjoy spending time with you and I like your personality, but I'm not feeling anything else happening other than friendship." Lay it on the line now.

That way if you two decide you still want to go to the prom together and continue hanging out until then, fine. Then he knows where he stands.

I think great romantic relationships can be born out of friendships, but right now you're not feeling it, and that's okay. That doesn't make you a bad person. It just means you're not feeling the sparks.

What would make you a bad person is to lead him to believe you're as into him as he is you, when you're not. Don't do that.

Be honest and go from there. Good luck

Usually, if you are unsure if you love him or not, that means you don't.

Im not saying you won't after spending more time with him but you need to ask yourself if its worth it or if you want to see if you will. If you know you won't for sure, tell him.

You don't have to wait till after prom. You shouldn't feel guilty for not feeling the way he expects you to feel.

What if the situation were reversed - how would you feel?

Pretty awful and somewhat used, I bet. If you really like him and respect his friendship then tell him how you feel. At least he then has the choice about whether to go to the Prom with you, given your changed feelings.

It's hard to be honest, but you'll respect yourself and him more in the end.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by none12345

Usually, if you are unsure if you love him or not, that means you dont.

Im not saying you wont after spending more time with him but you need to ask yourself if its worth it or if you want to see if you will. If you know you wont for sure, tell him.

You dont have to wait till after prom. You shouldnt feel guilty for not feeling the way he expects you to feel.

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Had to spread rep, Noney (love the nickname, too, by the way)

This is true. You are feeling guilty for not having romantic feelings. You have to get over that because you can't help how you feel. You cannot ignore feelings and you cannot create them, either, just deal with them.

The longer you lead him to believe you're falling for him, the worse the guilty feeling will be. You'll make both of you miserable. Not worth it.

This is why you go on dates, to meet people and if you find them interesting and you enjoy their company, you see them again. If there's no romantic connection, better to be upfront from the beginning. You won't wake up one day and be madly in love with him if you're not feeling it now. But I think you already know that.

Honesty is the best policy!

This boy seems like he likes you a lot so you should carry on the relationship and then see how it goes and eventually you might start to like him more than you did before!