Ask Me Help Desk - How to get out there?

How to get out there?

Hey everyone, I'm new to this site. Here's my problem, any advice would be appreciated.

Im 20 years old, and I'm a university student. I go to school far away but I'm home for the summer. What I see now for the plans for the summer is work, working out, and staying at home being bored. I never really had much friends, I have a few close ones but they live a couple hours away so we don't hang out as much as we would. I would like to get out there this summer, make some new friends, meet new people and I don't know where to start.

I live in a city that is not so developed yet, but its not underdeveloped so the social scene isn't that big as it would be. I live close to a very developed city and very populated and I would like to go there more to the bars to have a few drinks and stuff but I don't have a car. Lost complete touch with friends in high school and can't contact them. The friends I met at my university, all went back to their home town which is no where close to where I am. Sometimes I feel depressed staying at home being bored when everyone is out with their friends having fun.

I have a close family and we do everything together but I would like to meet some new friends, my own group to hang out with, people that share the same interests and compatible and maybe even a girlfriend. I find it hard to make friends, I'm not sure where I can, how to approach people and how to develop a friendship. I never had much friends, the most are just school people I know and talk to and when summer comes we lose complete contact and never see each other again, than again I don't see me getting along as really close friends with them anyway.

Any advice or ideas?

Why don't you get a summer job? It will help. Try volunteering, becoming a camp councilor, going to community events.

If you want to put yourself out there you need to be out there.

Sarah

Try taking up something new like music or dancing. Going to a young people's dancing class can be great to meet new people and in my opinion to find a girlfriend. Don't let yourself get bored, stay active and outgoing and try picking up new things.

If you like sports, see if there are any co-ed sports clubs. If you have any hobbies, see if there are any clubs for that. Other than that you could frequent a particular establishment... but then you become a regular which can be good or bad.

Guys thanks for the advice. Already found a summer job, working with my mom, all the people there are going to be older people, it would be nice to meet some people my age. Already volunteering, by helping out children reading in a camp. Been playing guitar for ages, kind of looking for a band. Sport clubs? Never thought of that. Not sure if I'm the sports kind of guy but never know if I don't try. I don't know what I'm doing wrong? Kind of did all the things you guys have mentioned.

Hmm. Are you in Canada? You'd be old enough to go to a bar. It's a great way to meet some fun people. If you hear about a party just go to it and mingle.

Where do the younger people hangout? Find out where and go there--it's usually easier to talk to the opposite sex, so try that.

You got to throw yourself out there.

Sarah

Look on places like craigslist.org, they also have postings for sport teams looking for players. Joining a gym is a great idea, you can meet people there. Set goals for yourself, perhaps go for walks in a local park, tons of people will be there and strike up a conversation with at least one person a day. A simple hello and a smile go a long way in helping. Positive attitude and you will see positive results.

Do you have a Facebook account? Try to find your old friends from there. You only really need to get in touch with 1 or 2 friends who can provide you numbers of all the other friends. Once you see your friends again, I'm sure they can introduce you to new friends.

Yah I'm in Canada, I can go to bars, there not much around here lol still live with parents so I don't think I have their approval but I'm old enough to make my own decision and I don't think there are any close by.

Thanks Romefalls, ill set goals.

Iwish, I used to have one! But I deleted it so I don't go on my ex's profile.

I find it hard to strike conversations with people, Im kind of a shy but once people strike conversations with me, I keep talking and not shy anymore.

Quote:

Originally Posted by EverybodysFool

Yah im in Canada, i can go to bars, there not much around here lol still live with parents so i dont think i have their approval but im old enough to make my own decision and i dont think there are any close by.

Thanks Romefalls, ill set goals.

Iwish, i used to have one!! but i deleted it so i dont go on my ex's profile.

I find it hard to strike conversations with people, Im kind of a shy but once people strike conversations with me, i keep talking and not shy anymore.

Just block your ex. You only need to reactivate Facebook long enough to get your contacts back then you can deactivate it again. Since you're in Canada, why don't you use MSN?

Otherwise, follow Rome's advice.

What about Craigslist to find people who are looking for a guitarist in your area? A band would be awesome for you!

You also can go to Kijiji, they have people who want to start a band, community events, club openings and lots of stuff-- look for your city or surrounding area.

Sarah

Iwish - msn is harder because you actually need to know someone's email to add them? And Facebook, ill just make a new one!

Starlite- never been on craiglist, just looking for a fun band though nothing serious, ill check it out later.

Actually I would like to meet people face to face the first time first though. Know any good place, people go alone to? Because I'm kind of shy talking to a group of people, just one on one would be easier for me at first.

Okay Sarah ill check it out in a bit too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by EverybodysFool

Iwish - msn is harder because you actually need to know someones email to add them? and facebook, ill just make a new one!

You don't need to get a new FB- just delete stuff and block people. I did that with mine after a massive breakup. I think it's pointless to have to restart- and why should you?

---Try and get a myspace. Search you city or surrounding areas; myspace is GREAT for band promos and letting you know what is going on in your city; i.e. band gigs, mini concerts, community events, etc.

You can meet awesome people on Myspace too!

Sarah

Quote:

Originally Posted by mudweiser

You don't need to get a new FB- just delete stuff and block people. I did that with mine after a massive breakup. I think it's pointless to have to restart- and why should you?

---Try and get a myspace. Search you city or surrounding areas; myspace is GREAT for band promos and letting you know what is going on in your city; i.e. band gigs, mini concerts, community events, etc.

You can meet awesome people on Myspace too!

Sarah

Thanks for your advice Mudweiser.

My break up with my ex is still fresh, I don't know if I can just go on it yet, even to delete her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by EverybodysFool

Thanks for your advice Mudweiser.

My break up with my ex is still fresh, i dont know if i can just go on it yet, even to delete her.

Do it! Do it! Do it!

Delete AND block.

You'll feel a weight lift off you ;)

Sarah

Get rid of the ex as a friend on any social networking site, believe me!! You are asking for trouble otherwise...

Quote:

Originally Posted by kctiger

Get rid of the ex as a friend on any social networking site, believe me!!! You are asking for trouble otherwise...

Yah I've realized that but I thought to myself, instead of going on to delete her, ill never go on Facebook again. I'm going to go on right now and delete her.

How do you guys make friends? Like you approach them and introduce yourslef? Start a conversation?