I was speaking to an ex today...

And he was taking forever to reply to my messages, yet I could see him talking to all these girls on a chat site.

We're supposed to be trying to be friends.

So I told him how frustrating it is that he puts me last in his list, because I always make time for him.

And he said yeah well your not my number one. Your not my girlfriend anymore.

And then he said something so so so hurtful, "i was better off without you. so you better stop acting like this or im never going to talk to you again."

I was just wondering, I haven't had many relationships.. is that fair of him to say?

Am I in the wrong?

Please help me :(
This "friendship" is eating me up inside.

Honestly what he said was plain rude. Being friends right now especially if it has not been a lot of time is really hard. It may be best to not talk to him for now as it always makes things harder. Try not to think of him and go hang with your good friends. Enjoy being single because he's a jerk and not worth your time. Keeping yourself busy helps with the healing. If you keep talking to him it will only make it harder for you to get better. Just let time and a life without him work on healing you. Most likely, you're better off without him too.

Why do you want to be friends with this rude jerk? Ignore him and move on with your life. He obviously is playing on the fact that he thinks you still have feelings for him. He is using you to boost his own ego. Don't allow him to treat you this way. For your own sanity and self esteem end contact with him now.

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Originally Posted by tearingapart

I was speaking to an ex today...

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Why are you trying to be friends with this guy?

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and he was taking forever to reply to my messages, yet I could see him talking to all these girls on a chat site.

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He doesn't owe you an explanation of how he's spending his time

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we're supposed to be trying to be friends.

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You're trying to be his friend, he's not trying to be yours

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so I told him how frustrating it is that he puts me last in his list, because I always make time for him.

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Did he ask you to make time for him? Doesn't sound like it.

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and he said yeah well your not my number one. Your not my girlfriend anymore.

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He's telling you that you're not important to him.

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and then he said something so so so hurtful, "i was better off without you. so you better stop acting like this or im never going to talk to you again."

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He's giving you an ultimatum hoping you'll take a hike.

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I was just wondering, I haven't had many relationships.. is that fair of him to say?

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Of course it's fair, he's being honest.

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am I in the wrong?

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Not wrong for caring, perhaps dense is a better word.

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please help me :(
This "friendship" is eating me up inside.

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This isn't a friendship, what about it says friendship to you?

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tearingapart disagrees: do you not think that perhaps he is just an emotional blackmailer? I disagree with you. He's recently told me he wants to be friends, that he loves talking to me, and all that

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I disagree with you! Your acting like a crazy ex-- he clearly doesn't want to be friends with you. I bet he only said those things to be nice.

Obviously if he WANTED to be friends with you, you wouldn't have posted this thread.

Wow does this guy need a restraining order on you?



Sarah

It sounds like he was being honest, Guess I will go against the flow, he was ignoring you, and you got on him for not answering back fast, And he basically told you it was over and to move on, not nicely but told you.

And you still want to hang on to him, as a friend, normally a buzz word for not wanting it to be over yet.

His words may say he wants to be friends but his actions clearly state the opposite I'm afraid.

tearingapart disagrees: do you not think that perhaps he is just an emotional blackmailer? i disagree with you. he's recently told me he wants to be friends, that he loves talking to me, and all that .

Then he told you what you wanted to hear. It's obvious that you're having trouble letting go of this guy. If you're thinking he's blackmailing you, leave him alone. Wait, didn't he suggest that?

He doesn't seem to "love" talking to you because otherwise he'd... we'll he'd be talking to you. You said he doesn't make time for you yet he spends a lot of time on a chat site.

Truth hurts.

Sorry tearingapart...

This coming from a guy with crazy exes...

... you fit the bill.

You're being needy and clingy... perhaps in hopes of him getting to notice that he would be better off WITH you; the thing is, you two broke it off... and now you two owe each other nothing.

You got to let him go. Ignore him for a while, and see how he responds.

Honestly, I don't think you're trying to be his friend. You might think that but I think you still have feelings for him and you're still attached to him. He doesn't want to be your friend. He treats you really horrible and says hurtful things. I say there are people out there who deserves your attention instead of him, people like family and friends.

Forget this friend, and get a real one. Don't allow him to treat you like dirt, leave him alone.

What do you mean by "wanting to be friends?" It sounds like you are OK with not being the number one girlfriend, but you still want him to spend time with you.

It seems that he is trying to remain friends with you. You make time for him, and get mad when he doesn't stop what he's doing for you. I don't blame him for saying the things he did, it was a defensive reaction to your attack.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

It sounds like he was being honest, Guess I will go against the flow, he was ignoring you, and you got on him for not answering back fast, And he basicly told you it was over and to move on, not nicely but told you.

And you still want to hang on to him, as a friend, normally a buzz word for not wanting it to be over yet.

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Well said.

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Originally Posted by tearingapart

i was speaking to an ex today...

and he was taking forever to reply to my messages, yet i could see him talking to all these girls on a chat site.

we're supposed to be trying to be friends.

so i told him how frustrating it is that he puts me last in his list, because i always make time for him.

and he said yeah well your not my number one. your not my girlfriend anymore.

and then he said something so so so hurtful, "i was better off without you. so you better stop acting like this or im never going to talk to you again."

i was just wondering, i haven't had many relationships.. is that fair of him to say?

am i in the wrong?

please help me :(
this "friendship" is eating me up inside.

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Go ahead Catch Wind. Friends don't talk to friends that way. Leave him alone

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Originally Posted by tearingapart

tearingapart disagrees: do you not think that perhaps he is just an emotional blackmailer? i disagree with you. he's recently told me he wants to be friends, that he loves talking to me, and all that

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Honey, if we lived off what men told us, we'd never make it through the day. Perfect example: a few years back I was "seeing" someone who had just gotten out of a looooong relationship. During that time, he kept making references about us being a couple and him being my boyfriend - same guy now claims we "were never dating."

Your confusing his friendship from being your man. He isn't your man anymore so don't expect his to jump when you contact him and you shouldn't do the same.

Instead of watching who he chats with make new friends with people so you can chat with them.

Also, there is no written rule stated you have to be friends with your ex. So maybe you should rethink this so called friendship.