Im beyond frustrated because I want to move on after getting out of a nine year relationship but over the years I became so insecure and shy that its preventing me to. W:confused::confused:hy did I become like this and how can I get over it?:confused:

I can only ans. Your question from my experience. You get that way because you let yourself depend on the other person for any number of reasons. That's fine until things fall apart. It took a long time for me to realize I am the only person I can depend on, and I better start liking who I am. That started a chain reaction of hobbies and activities that kept me involved in life, which in turn changes your perception of your life. You can't change your circumstances, just your reaction to them. If you keep yourself busy w/ your hobbies, you will move on to new relationships. I can't really explain it, but when you're into and happy in your life, others want in, too. That's been my experience, but it does take effort.