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-   -   He has a girlfriend, but tells me he likes me on and off. What to do? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=345034)

  • Apr 23, 2009, 12:45 AM
    yts0ejkl
    He has a girlfriend, but tells me he likes me on and off. What to do?
    There's this guy who I met around 3 months ago, we became really great friends and we still are we love hanging out tgether and all that. And one day he said all these cute things to me things that guys would say to a girl if they were together. When that happened I was so confused, but I felt like a that I liked it. Because he has a girlfriend. The next time I saw him the same thing happened but he said less. When I finally had the guts to ask him what was happening that night he said he liked me but that it was on and off.
    I don't know what to do because I know I want something to happen, and sometimes when I'm with him I really don't care he has a girlfriend, I know very y. but I hate it. I'm actually quite happy when he and his girlfriend have fights. But deep inside I know I hate what's happening like hell.
    I know you might think I'm a . But, I can't help it and I do hate it. So I try limiting myself when I'm with him you know? But when he makes the first move of intimatness I fall apart.
    I really need some advice.
    Thanks :)
  • Apr 23, 2009, 01:10 AM
    Silverfoxkit

    The rule of thumb, NEVER date a taken man. No matter how wonderful you think he is a cheater is a cheater is a cheater. No way around it. If he'll cheat on her, he'll cheat on you. Do not allow yourself to be the sugar on the side.

    Even if you "win" and he leaves his girl would you really feel secure in the relationship knowing that he is untrustworthy?

    Put yourself in his girlfriend's shoes for a moment. How do you think she would feel if she knew? Imagine that pain real hard because if you date this guy you are very much likely to end up in that exact place. Save everyone the trouble and draw the "just friends" line, despite how you may feel right now, and look for an honest man. Trust me, stopping it before it really starts will hurt less then the inevitable betrayal.
  • Apr 23, 2009, 01:17 AM
    yts0ejkl
    Even if you "win" and he leaves his girl would you really feel secure in the relationship knowing that he is untrustworthy?
    ----------------------------------------------------------

    Thank you so much. <3 you've really opened my eyes.
    Your advice is extremely helpful and amazing keep up the good work.
    Just posted my question less than half an hour ago and I've already got such a great answer.
    Thank you again so so sooo much.
    I really apprecitae it.
  • Apr 23, 2009, 01:21 AM
    Silverfoxkit

    Quote:

    thank you so much. <3 you've really opened my eyes.
    Your advice is extremely helpful and amazing keep up the good work.
    Just posted my question less than half an hour ago and I've already got such a great answer.
    Thank you again so so sooo much.
    I really apprecitae it.
    No problem at all. :)

    I'm glad to see you seem to understand. A lot of girls don't and they allow themselves to be used. You deserve better!
  • Apr 23, 2009, 04:25 AM
    liz28

    This guy was playing on your emotions because he saw that he can.

    When he told you he liked you on and off maybe that was due to any misunderstandings he had with his girlfriend. When things were bad between him and his girlifriend, he like you. When things were good between them he didn't.

    If your going be friends with a tuy learn how to separate your feelings from the friendship and set boundaries. Don't fall for every sweet lie you hear.
  • Apr 23, 2009, 08:39 AM
    I wish

    First off this guy is a cheater. He obviously still has a thing for his girlfriend, which is why he is hanging onto her. She's kind of his safety. While he's got a hold on her, he's out exploring with new girls, such as yourself. While you think he likes you a lot, he's just saying all the stuff you want to hear so that you stay attracted to him.

    Do you want to be his experiment? Do you want to be the girl that he cheats on? How do you think his current girlfriend feels? Even if you guys get together, what's going to stop him from cheating on you? Can you trust him? Is this really the kind of boyfriend you want?
  • Apr 24, 2009, 11:45 AM
    pathisfer
    I think it's time to set some boundaries with this guy because he clearly has none and it's making your life confusing and toying with your emotions. He gets the best of both worlds here while you are left to suffer. I would cut off your friendship with him while he is with his girlfriend. If he clearly wanted to be with you, he would end what he has and not leave you hanging. Once you are no longer available to him, he may see what he has lost and do something about it. Right now, he's just using you though and you are letting him!
  • Apr 24, 2009, 07:49 PM
    yts0ejkl

    Oh my, you guys are really amazing.
    I can't thank you guys enough for giving me such wonderful advice.
    Everything you've said is true.
    It may not seem much, but you have all really impacted this situation into making me make the right decisions instead of falling and choosing the decisions that would leave a scar on my life. Thank you again incredibly!
    <3
  • Jun 17, 2011, 11:34 AM
    vivek1987
    Hmmm... dont know what to say.. may be you can call me also a chater.. but...
    I have a girlfried.. I love her like anything... I have a best firnd too with whom I studied for 8 years... we are too close... but never closed the firndship line...

    But see I told my friend that I love 3 girls in this world... one is my mom,my girl and this friend... I don't know if my relation with my girlfriedn will succeed will it end in marriage.. I am not sure... bbut I love her... she too loves me...
    But after leaving college I started missing my firnd so much... that I could not control myself that I preposed her... she tried so much to divert me... but still I am loving her... she also knows that... am I a cheater... I love these two girls a lot... I don't want to miss them... :(

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