#1. Don't start falling for him until he says that he really really likes me and loves me.
Fell for this one and then realized rule #2.

#2. Don't start falling for him until he shows me that he really really likes me and loves me.
Examples: He picks up my calls, he takes me out to lunches/dinners/coffee - (just wants to hang out in general hopefully at least 1.5 times a week!), we can meet whenever - (not only during the certain days/hours he tells me to), maybe gives me a flower or something to show he cares like calling or texting or emailing or IMing me (he can pick a flower from my neighbor's yard for all I care)

#3 Be myself. Say whatever I want, do whatever I want.
I'm hecka boring, so saying and doing whatever I want isn't extreme. Example: I was told not to go to a party once. Next time around I'm going!!

#4 If he shows too many warning signs, start pulling myself back emotionally but still give him a chance... I guess...
Example: He says "I'm not good for you. I'll make you do things you don't want to do."

#5 Get invited to hang out with his friends or family within the first 9 months of dating. If not, he'd better be fulfilling rules 1 and 2.

#6 Definitely, definitely, if he starts getting abusive, run for the hills!

We better be like this before we get in a relationship!
A: We communicate well, he communicates with me.
Example: I tell him I'm feeling like something's wrong and he works with me to fix it. He asks me questions and answers my questions. Does not just say "yes, no, it's fine, uh huh, yeah, okay."

B: We respect each other.
He backs off the first time I say "no."

C: We're honest with each other.
He tells me what happened at a party or during his day not just "it was the same, it was boring, nothing happened, I forgot."

D: We trust each other and won't run away if something goes wrong.
We can talk about anything and everything without being afraid of consequences. Religion, Sex, Money, Politics, etc.

:p

My rules for a relationship.


1. No rules, just go where the adventure takes you and stick to your morals

2. Have lots of sex before you end up getting married and then it is cut off... ladies, you know what I mean!!

I agree with the list,I would add..

1. I had a life before we met,its still there,I'm just making room in it for him.(and vice versa)

2.I like my friends,that's why there my friends.

ME + BOYFRIEND does not = not seeing friends.

Why have rules?

Trust, commitment, honesty, communication, excitement, mystery, etc. Go from there.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by washer200

Here's another rule of mine. No initiating talks about religion or politics.

Also if she's done something wrong DO NOT call her out on it. Instead I'll just pray for the Lord to reveal to her the error of her ways. This way she can come to her own conclusions whether or not she has offended me in some way. I do not believe in confrontation. If she wants to confront me about my faults fine but I won't bother to confront her.

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That was a joke... right??

I hope so Historian, if my fiancé makes a mistake I let her know it. She is in college, writing isn't her strongest suit, but I am fairly good at it. So she asks me to proof read her work before she submits it, I'm not going to lie to her and tell her "This sounds great" when it's actually not great at all.

If you don't help people and correct them, then they won't learn from their mistakes. There are ways to let them know they were wrong without making them feel dumb, just let them know you saw something that you feel is incorrect.

If no one ever told anyone that they didn't agree, but went with the whole "they'll know if they hurt me", we'd all be drones, cookie-cutter masses. There's no reality in that... nor is there any basis for a relationship...

Relationships are about two individuals, not two clones.

So what happens when you have children? You going to just let them learn for themselves?

So, what do you take responsibility for, just yourself? If you see someone crossing the street in front of the bus, will you yell or try and stop them, or just look the other way and hope they learn the next time not to do that...

If you see an old lady who drops her groceries on the sidewalk, will you help her pick them up, or just hope that next time she remembers to double bag it or simply not carry so much...

See, the issue I have here is that it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY as a human being to do good and to help others when they need help. It is call morals, do you have any?

I'm confused why washer's post is attached to mine. Anyway, I do believe that the boyfriend or even just a friend should point out when there's a problem. This is to enable personal development so that the girlfriend or even just friend is able to become a better person and move forward in life.

However, I think that in my past relationship that my boyfriend just let everything go on the wayside...

Washer 200 is a troll, people, and has been deleted.

Am I a troll?


Having rules are one thing, but you also have to have some flexibility.

Yes Chuff, you are a troll.

Sorry, had to be the funny guy

I agree with the fact that you need flexibility in a relationship. I also believe that my ex was rigid. One time I said that some of the parties that I had been going to was boring. When the next party came around, he told me not to go, and that it would be boring for me.

I also believe that my "rules" for myself are rather good. I'm probably not going to follow them once I find some guy that I like. However, I'd like to think that I'll try to follow them the next time I start falling for someone.

Dude, if a guy isn't following any of these "rules," we shouldn't even be in a relationship. These are practically minimal requirements for people to even be dating! If they are failing to meet these standards... I would have to say that there is something pretty wrong with the picture! O_o

Quote:

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Originally Posted by teastalk

I agree with the fact that you need flexibility in a relationship. I also believe that my ex was rigid. One time I said that some of the parties that I had been going to was boring. When the next party came around, he told me not to go, and that it would be boring for me.

I also believe that my "rules" for myself are rather good. I'm probably not going to follow them once I find some guy that I like. However, I'd like to think that I'll try to follow them the next time I start falling for someone.

Dude, if a guy isn't following any of these "rules," we shouldn't even be in a relationship. These are practically minimal requirements for people to even be dating! If they are failing to meet these standards... I would have to say that there is something pretty wrong with the picture! O_o

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"Different strokes for differnt folks"-unknown People are not all the same, and some just want a relationship where there are little to no strings attatched. It depends on what you really want, I guess.

Each new situation is different, and may need different reasoning to deal or cope with it. But it is good to have some kind of standard, so as to keep yourself from running into bad situations constantly. That way you don't have to make the same mistakes over and over.

Peace and kindness

Yes, I definitely need a minimum standard to keep, otherwise I will be falling for guys who are bad for me. For example, there's this guy who attends the same sports club as I do so we see each other maybe once a week. He's the flirty type and therefore is quite personable.

Anyway, he asked me to go grab some coffee with him during one of the meetings. He seemed a bit quiet about it, so I felt like it was a date invitation. The next day he called me up to go get the coffee with him. We ended up chatting with each other for quite a while, maybe for five hours.

After that we didn't talk until a week later. I asked him if he wanted to go to the zoo. We ended up going and walking around, then eating out later. Then, we ended up going to a movie and he started making out with me there. After that he then started rubbing against me in the theater. I don't know how people date these days, but I think that this is highly unusual behavior. I will have to let this one go.

What do you expect him to do? What do you mean by "rubbing up" on you... I guess I am confused as how you want a guy to act around you.

She has way to many rules for me, no way could I date someone that leaves me confused after each conversation.

No offense

No offense taken Rome. Anyway, this is just something for myself and it's just basic relationship common sense anyway. If a guy or girl doesn't treat you as special, then it's probably not a good relationship. One's significant other often gets special attention or care that regular friends don't receive. Kctiger, he was rubbing his man parts on my lower extremities. Is this normal dating behavior?