THIS IS NOT FOR EVERYBODY JUST A COUPLE OF REAL THICK ONES. I AM RANTING HERE.

I am really starting to get tired of the people, who are clueless when to give up. Some people that ask questions here are more sounding like stalkers, that think they are in love and always chasing after a dream that is just that a dream that will not come true.

I do not understand why some are so blind. Even though the answers are there from so many people they still are in denial that they themselves are the problem and not the other person.

Many common subject lines. How to win back an ex?
Oh My God people stop it already... I do not understand this need to go back to the past even one example of one so delusional going back 5 years and trying to come after an ex after 5 years that does not even want to be involved.

Yet people are acting crazy and obsessed and are determined to force their so called delusional love on somebody that truly does not want it.

Get the hint people.

I think that some of these people that are on the other side of this should get restraining orders against people that continually call, that continually email, msn and always going on about their undying love for this other person that does not feel the same. Or even if they did feel the same they are being scared away because people are acting psycho.

1) If it is an Ex. Leave the ex alone.
2) You can not win anything back, there is no prize your just delusional.
3) Stop acting so psycho and get true help.
4) Obviously anything that is said here, with so many trying help out and get you guys back to reality. It does not seem to work.
5) So please get counseling. Not free counseling either.
6) FINALLY MOVE ON, AND IF YOU can't MAYBE YOU SHOULD PUT ON THE WHITE JACKET YOURSELF.
7) This might sound rude but people need to wake up.

Please do not take this the wrong way. It is not for everybody. It is just me ranting about a few real thick ones.

Thank you.

Joe

I completely agree with you Jesushelper.

It's creepy and quite pitiful.

Sarah

Everything you said is true. But if you notice the trend, most of the time it's people who are deeply in love for the first time. So the lack of experience is the cause of why they can't see the signs of when the call it quits. So I wouldn't be so tough on them.

That's why we are here to help guide those people. Once they learn, it doesn't happen as often and eventually, they are even capable of giving others sound advice.

People who repeat this behavior can consider counselling and need the reality check.

A lot of the people on this site haven't gone through these pitfalls in life and just don't know how to deal with it yet. Quite a few are very young so inexperience may play a part in how they deal with the loss of a relationship.

These are the situations you're going to come across when you log in to this site and head straight for the "Relationships" section. I just don't understand what you expect to read when you log on anyway? I admit it can get quite repetitive but I do understand that I'm not being paid to be here and that it's my choice to log on and hear the same stories over and over and over again.

I'm no psychiatrist and I'm pretty sure that none of the so called "experts" are either. We're mostly all here because trying to help other people helps us in turn. I've never met anyone face to face from this site and it's few and far between that I've encountered belligerent posters who don't care what anyone says to them so I will not judge them and call them stalkers, psychos, etc. People have to deal with things in their own way. I respect that. I think everyone else should do the same. Otherwise why do we all log on in the first place?

Great topic. I am on the other side of this where my ex won't leave me alone.

I categorically told her I never want to speak to her again and after a few months of her stalking me I finally said if she continued I would call the police.

I have not said a single word to my ex in nearly 3 months and she still knocked on my door today, I just closed it without saying a word. I get a letter, card or note pretty much every week from her and emails too.

I agree with all 7 of your points, people who act in that manner do come across as obsessive and psychotic.

I agree with- I wish, people who behave like this truly do need counselling. I think they fail to see their actions are only pushing their ex's further away and reinforces the thoughts that breaking up with them was the best thing they could have done.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by itried

Otherwise why do we all log on in the first place?

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Sometimes people come here just to hear what they want to hear- this isn't the case most of the time.

Sarah

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mudweiser

Sometimes people come here just to hear what they want to hear- this isn't the case most of the time.

Sarah

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I should clarify. By "we" I mean those of us who are at the stage of being able to deal out advice. Not those who are asking for it. I agree that a lot of the posters who initially sign in are just here to hear what they want to hear. But you'll get none of that on this site. Maybe some have a harder time than others when it comes to adhering to the advice given. But really, haven't we all been there at one point or another (not really taking any advice from anyone)?

I agree!

It is a rare occasion indeed when we are able to actually penetrate the denial and force someone to wake up!

I can't tell you the number of times I have said,I'm done with this thread,no use trying to penetrate a brick wall.I'm not here to fight!

I am always amazed by the people who say*but he/she tells me all the time how much they love me*.

As if actions mean nothing! Please people look at what they are doing not what they are saying.Did everyone forget the adage... actions speak louder than words? Please!

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Originally Posted by artlady

As if actions mean nothing! Please people look at what they are doing not what they are saying.Did everyone forget the old adage...actions speak louder than words? Please!

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Perfect example:

Abusive relationship. He punches you then says I love you.


Sarah

Quote:

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Originally Posted by itried

A lot of the people on this site haven't gone through these pitfalls in life and just don't know how to deal with it yet. Quite a few are very young so inexperience may play a part in how they deal with the loss of a relationship.

These are the situations you're going to come across when you log in to this site and head straight for the "Relationships" section. I just don't understand what you expect to read when you log on anyways? I admit it can get quite repetitive but I do understand that I'm not being paid to be here and that it's my choice to log on and hear the same stories over and over and over again.

I'm no psychiatrist and I'm pretty sure that none of the so called "experts" are either. We're mostly all here because trying to help other people helps us in turn. I've never met anyone face to face from this site and it's few and far between that I've encountered belligerent posters who don't care what anyone says to them so I will not judge them and call them stalkers, psychos, etc. People have to deal with things in their own way. I respect that. I think everyone else should do the same. Otherwise why do we all log on in the first place?

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It is kind of funny how when People see my name Jesushelper. They automatically assume I am judging someone. It is always the case here on this website, but the thing here is that just because I say someone is acting like a[B] stalker , it is not a judgement but it is actually me pointing out exactly how somebody is acting. I am not calling them that personally. Their actions are... As far as there are many people that do just want to hear want they want to hear but I am not hear to do that. I think we are all able to rant about something that is bugging us. Everybody else does so I think and feel it is fine for me to do so as well.

I am saying directly that people who are ACTING THIS WAY DOES NEED HELP. That is a fact..

I come here to help out others. Certain people however come here looking for advice. Ask questions and when they get many answers from many different people that are all telling them the same thing. They do not want to hear it.

EDIT: Yes I am responding in general, but also adding my own rants here. Well For some people yes my user name does have something to do with it. Maybe for you not, okay but for others yes.

I also stated that I am calling things as they are.. for the original post I gave. Even though some people do not like it.

Seriously though, how can I get my ex back?? :cool:

UHM UhM...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

It is kind of funny how when People see my name Jesushelper. They automatically assume I am judging someone. It is always the case here on this website, but the thing here is that just because I say someone is acting like a stalker or psychos, it is not a judgement but it is actually me pointing out exactly how somebody is acting. I am not calling them that personally. Their actions are... As far as there are many people that do just want to hear want they want to hear but I am not hear to do that. I think we are all able to rant about something that is bugging us. Everybody else does so I think and feel it is fine for me to do so as well.

I am saying directly that people who are ACTING THIS WAY DOES NEED HELP. That is a fact..

I come here to help out others. Certain people however come here looking for advice. Ask questions and when they get many answers from many different people that are all telling them the same thing. They do not want to hear it.

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I agree, they don't want to hear what we have to say, but it is because they are still in denial. At least they are seeking help. They see the truth in what we say, but they just don't want to accept it... yet. They are still grieving. They are still tramatized by the turn of events. Their actions might seem extreme to a third person, but they are suffering and they need to let it out. It's better than bottling it all up.

We tell them to be patient and time will heal all wounds. We have to be patient with them too. When we are giving advice, we can't expect them to change the way they feel overnight. It takes time.

Furthermore, we need to be more unerstanding of thoses who are deeply suffering for the first time. They need some guidance and that's what we're here for, like you said. With time, many people who seek help in this forum do improve. Even the experts are constantly improving.

I think that you are referring to repeat offenders. People who go through the same problems over and over again and never learn. But those are more serious conditions and we see it and we strongly suggest counselling.

Yes, That is exactly what I am saying. The ones that are repeat offenders. Like I said originally.. It is only for a very Few. Not everyone.. (;

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kctiger

Seriously though, how can I get my ex back??? :cool:

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Sleep on her doorstep, go to her job with flowers and lunch and announce to her co-workers that you love her. Go where she goes, the mall, the grocery store, the gym. Put sticky notes on her car saying "I was here. Just like your in my heart and my dreams ...forever"

I also heard that if you call at least 43 times a day, fill up their emails and voicemails with quotes about love or singing a song to them.

My cousin's friend's uncle's step mom's brother did this and he go her back.

Sarah

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

Yes, That is exactly what I am saying. The ones that are repeat offenders. Like I said originally.. It is only for a very Few. Not everyone.. (;

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Yes, but I still don't think ranting about their behavior will do them any good. I still say patience with repeat offenders. We just have to continue to strongly urge them to consider counselling. Maybe I'm too soft, I just don't like being so hard on anyone. It's not like they are criminals. They are crazy in love and need someone to snap them out of their fantasy world. Some people are just slow learners. Some people are really really really slow learners.

What does it mean when she sends me a text asking me how I am doing?? :cool:

All right, all right, I'm done after this one... couldn't help it.

Comments on this post
Jesushelper76 agrees: I think Everybody should be alowd to have the very occasional rant. I rarely do a rant but today I felt like a rant was necessary. Also it proved to be a good thread starter.

Very true! Good discussion.

It did help us summarize the different type of people who need a nudge, really need a push or ABSOLUTELY require help and we can give advice accordingly.

That was what I was hoping by starting this thread to get lots of reaction and discussion. I was very happy to hear the personal story of the person that was on the other end as well. These stories are important to hear. Thank you I wish.

Edit: Here is an example thread...

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ex-344283.html

Totally agree.

I was on the receiving end of this whole debate... and got a restraining order.

When it's over, it's OVER.

I don't really respect anyone who turns into a stalker simply to pursue a dream.

Enough is enough.