Ask Me Help Desk - My husband & I do not want a Paternity test

Six years ago…I became pregnant….when I told the father I was pregnant…he decided that he wanted to come clean…& tell me that he and his wife…decided to work things out and get back together…The whole time we were together they were married but lived apart…He also decide that he wanted nothing to do w/me and the baby…He also…all of a sudden decided that he really wasn’t sure if this child was his.. ”Jerk”….When I was 3 months pregnant I contacted him…I told him that I did not want to cause any problems in his marriage…and just wanted to give him the opportunity to be involved…and if not that.. My best friend who is now my husband…wanted to take responsibility of the child….He told me to do whatever I wanted…When I gave birth I listed the father as unknown…when the child was eight months.. I amended the birth certificate and listed my best friend as the father on the birth certificate…who is now my husband….Now six years later…the biological fathers wife… decides to contact me…and tell me that she doesn’t…have anything against me or the baby….but she just wanted to let me know that she was unaware…and apologized for the way he handled the situation….I really have nothing bad to say about her.. she truly was unaware…She also told me that… the biological father has filed or is planning to file for paternity…WHAT…My child is happy…my husband is his Daddy….. he will disrupt my son’s life…My husband and I have been stressing about this….My husband does not want that and neither do I…What are my options?? I was told that if he petitions for a paternity….there is nothing I can do…I contacted his wife…and she said he plans on going ahead w/it…& also told me that.. this is a problem her husband and I created for ourselves…but my son & my husband and she are the victims of there stupidity and ignorance….She also said she was sorry…but my son…and her children need to know about each other and the truth….I really don’t know what to do?

Which state?The law varies from state to state.

He lives in NY... I now am a Florida resident.

Not good for you. Get a lawyer ASAP.

742.10Establishment of paternity for children born out of wedlock.

(4) After the 60-day period referred to in subsection (1), a signed voluntary acknowledgment of paternity shall constitute an establishment of paternity and may be challenged in court only on the basis of fraud, duress, or material mistake of fact, with the burden of proof upon the challenger, and under which the legal responsibilities, including child support obligations of any signatory arising from the acknowledgment may not be suspended during the challenge, except upon a finding of good cause by the court.
742.91 Marriage of parents.--If the mother of any child born out of wedlock and the reputed father shall at any time after its birth intermarry, the child shall in all respects be deemed and held to be the child of the husband and wife, as though born within wedlock, and upon the payment of all costs and attorney fees as determined by the court, the cause shall be dismissed and the bond provided for in s. 742.021 shall be void. The record of the proceedings in such cases shall be sealed against public inspection in the interests of the child.

39.804 Penalties for false statements of paternity.--Any male person or any mother of a dependent child who knowingly and willfully makes a false statement concerning the paternity of a child in conjunction with a petition to terminate parental rights under this chapter and causes such false statement of paternity to be filed with the court commits a misdemeanor of the first degree.

BTW there are very inconsistent court practices both in NY and Fl .
It is up to the judge.The judge may or may not allow his paternity claim.

The bio father's wife is right. You made this a problem by falsifying the birth certificate. Had you had your husband adopt instead you would not be in this fix.

So the bio dad can petition for paternity and may even be able to have the birth certificate amended to show him as the father.

What I think is unlikely is that he will be able to get more than visitation with the child. You will still retain custody. On the flip side, you can now file for child support from him.

I agree with GV70, you need to consult an attorney to plan your strategy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottGem

The bio father's wife is right. You made this a problem by falsifying the birth certificate. Had you had your husband adopt instead you would not be in this fix.

So the bio dad can petition for paternity and may even be able to have the birth certificate amended to show him as the father.

What I think is unlikely is that he will be able to get more than visitation with the child. You will still retain custody. On the flip side, you can now file for child support from him.

I agree with GV70, you need to consult an attorney to plan your strategy.

Yes,you made some mistakes.If the judge allows the case you will have to get ready to change child's last name/ it is ruled in Florida/,too.
You will retain custody but your husband will lose all his rights toward the child

Omg,, thank you so much... Deep down inside I new I would have to get an attorney... I just keep thinking about my son and my husband... Should my husband and I... tell my son?? Should I continue communication w/his wife... and try to get her.. to talk her husband out of it... or should I just wait for the court ordered paternity to come... and take it from there...

Your son is what 5, 6? I think that's a little young to explain these issues. So I would what to tell him until you absolutely have to. By the time he's 8 he should be ready to be told.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrsdotdot

Omg,,,thank you so much...Deep down inside I new I would have to get an attorney...I just keep thinking about my son and my husband...Should my husband and I ....tell my son???Should I continue communication w/his wife...and try to get her..to talk her husband out of it...or should I just wait for the court ordered paternity to come.....and take it from there.....

It depends on you... What are you afraid of?

That my son will hate me... and maybe he may not think of my husband as his Daddy anymore... My husband assures me that no matter... What... he loves my son and me... and nothing will change... but things will change... I hope that no matter what happens... My son... and my husband will understand and not hate me... So once again Thank You and I don't know what you or who you believe in... but say a prayer for me, my son and husband... that everything will be OK...

I would not be greatly concerned about your son hating you. When it comes time to tell him (and I would not wait past 8 or 9), there will be ways to explain so that he will understand.

Good luck to you and keep us posted.