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Hey guys, life is short and I just want to know how do you get the most out of life? How do you see things? What are the things that are involved in your life? Spending more time with friends? Going out? What are something's that you do that make you happy?
Time with fam and friends is tops. I'm not the perpetual social butterfly and I'm not the person hiding in the home with the curtains drawn... but the more friends I can keep in the mix, even if I don't see them often, but keep in touch, the better. Often this means I need to work at something id easily let slip aside.
Love to exercise. Some of its to stay fit, but some, like hiking the rocks across the local reservoir, is more about mental time... focusing on not breaking you ankle has a way of making the rest of the world melt away for a moment. Same with biking. Or riding the motorcycle... trying not to die in traffic makes you push the days noise out of the way. I know... that's not exercise, but the mental side is the same thing... finding a way to release all the dumb things ill clutter my mind with. And the less clutter, the more I can find real meaningful things on which to spend my time and energy.
Really like to read, but I don't do it enough most of the time. Love to dance, but do it even less than reading, I'm sad to say.
Obviously I like to talk about sex, but I'm more grounded on the idea of sensual and meaningful touch. I'm the guy who wants to hold my lovers hand. The guy who'll hug another guy friend. Skin on skin is soothing, calming... so being near, present, and familiar with others is important to me. Ill gladly give up my personal space.
I'm spending more and more time on social justice issues... and from this I've learned a corollary to your original question...
To really get to know someone, we often ask "what do you like to do" or "what to you enjoy"... but we should also think about "what really pi$$es you off? what really makes you angry"... and then work with that. Something to consider.
Gandhi brought down the british empire in india not because he focused on what he wanted or liked... but what angered him. And the effect was he found happiness, even in a jail cell. Its an extreme example, but many of the greatest people who leave the world a better place often focused on not what made them happy, but what ticked them off... and along the way they found real meaning in their life and real clarity.
I have a couple living with me who grew up in the refugee camps of east central africa. The young man lost his parents and most brothers to terrible civil war. He spent over a decade in various camps. The work he has found here is hard. His hand was crushed in a machine and he's trying to rehab it. His life has not been easy by any measure. If anyone in the world has a reason to be jaded and angry, it is him. But he is so, so joyful... so pleasant. That he calls me his father is such a blessing and a joy... so... he has taught me as much about finding meaning in life as my own son.
And things that use the word pop... popcorn, pop rocks, poptarts, soda pop... not really, but had to get away from the deep thinking direction my thread was leading toward.
Being with my son he is my life and my husband is my rock I love them so much
I try to do something meaningful every day. Easier said than done, but try to make a conscious effort.
I make time for the people who I love and who love me.
I like to take long walks. It clears my head and gives me time for reflection.
I try to remember to smile at people I pass on the street, hold the door for someone, let another car cut in when I'm in traffic, say thank you to cashiers.
I volunteer once a month at a soup kitchen - it's good to be reminded that some people have much bigger problems then I do.
Life can be a crazy rat race, but the little things are what make the difference.
I think this is a great point.Quote:
Originally Posted by jjwoodhull
A good relationship usually takes work, effort...
A good life often requires the same... a dedicated effort toward things that bring you joy, often from "unconventional" places.
We don't just make one friend and then say "there" I have a friend. That's happiness.
Likewise, its often best to find joy from many different things. Its "many legs under a table"... the more there are, the more support there is when one of the legs breaks away.
The book The Five Love Languages (by gary chapman) states there are five primary ways in which people show commitment to each other... now, its angled toward making couples see each others love in a clearer way, sometimes through a different perspective... but I think its very applicable to how we relate to the world and how we find joy through interactions.
The "ways" are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Quality Time, and Gifts.
Its good to know in what ways are you most naturally inclined to act... and in what ways do you most feel love or joy.
Spending time with a loved one... can be quality time. Could be physical touch. Or both.
When going through a spell when my lover and I were both frustrated, and both saying "you arent paying attention to me"... and both feeling like our actions were being ignored... it was helpful to think about what Ways we were acting through.
I was doing acts of service when wanted quality time. I thought tidying up the house or cooking a great meal was a great way to make her feel the effort to please. In reality, shed have rather had take out and time together on the deck hammock. I thrive on physical touch and words of affirmation... so when she was braindead from the days noise, all I wanted was her hands through my hair and on my face and her looking into my eyes and really talking to me.
So... we both were trying to show joy for one another, and both completely missing the "dialect" through which we were speaking...
So...
I guess the point of all of this is also to consider the ways in which you act most naturally, and think about how to engage those areas you don't so easily...
Volunteering can be an Act of Service, Physical Touch (holding the hand of a hospice patient, for ex), Quality Time... etc...
I like the legs under the chair analogy... the more support there is in more areas, the more you can weather those moments when some area is lacking.
Guess I went back to the philosophical place again, huh?
This is what makes me happy:
Taking every positive opportunity I can. Joining teams that spark my interests.
Trying and getting work and assignments accomplished.
Taking those little but precious moments with friends.
Laughing at things even if they happened forever ago.
Laughing because you just love to laugh.
Giving someone encouragement.
Learning another language.
Making dinner for my friends and family.
Getting a hair appointment with a friend.
Getting something peirced with a friend.
Making everyone else laugh.
Treat your enemies like your friends.
Singing karaoke even when you sound dumb..
The small things are what make life so worth it. There are so many things but I don't think I can bring them all to mind at the moment.
Peace dude. :)
I find that sometimes people just take life for granted and just doesn't find happiness in the little things. The little things are what makes it worth while and the big things will come to you =P
My family, Which consists of my wife and my son. Makes me happy.
My family and animals. Yup, I'm one of those big 'ol animals nut, country girl to the core. I couldn't care less about parties, or clubs, or shopping. I'm not really content unless if I'm around the creatures I love.
Give me a weekend on a farm or at the zoo over a shopping anyday!
I'd rather be knee deep in mud then spend ten minutes in high heels. To all of you other ladies I just don't get how you wear those things without breaking your ankles! ;)
Actually I stole that from you jj lol. Got to spread the rep. But yah the little things do add up and eventually they aren't so little after all. =P
No wonder it sounded so good to me. LOL!Quote:
Originally Posted by none12345
One of the best statements about this question comes from Robert Brault. He's talking about happiness, but his statement applies: "To find a person who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness." He's pointing to the fact that getting the most out of life is not about getting.
For me, to be happy and to get the most out of life, I find that exercising personal presence makes a big difference. That means paying attention, looking, listening, noticing what is happening in and around me, especially noticing the people I might otherwise think I know about or take for granted.
If I am paying attention, many more moments have value, meaning, opportunity. If I am not, things just happen and I'm out to lunch. With the former, endless adventures present themselves, and with them comes fulfillment. With the later, everything is boring.
What I do to make myself happy is to think about life and the wonderful gift that it is and all the hardship we face is the price we pay for being blessed with such a gift.
Thoughts of the awesome wonderful creator that gave me life and just meditating on his awesome ever satisfying and filling light that connects to the soul within me brings me the most joy.
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