What makes a good marriage?

You'll get a variety of answers on that one.

I could make quite a list but will give you a short version for me: trust, love, and laughter... :)

Personally I think a good marriage has to have humor and lots of it. Listening and being able to communicate openly is huge. Men and women have different views on most things. It is important to LISTEN to each other. The first 5 years are the hardest. Every time you argue don't worry about who gets the last word in, just remember why you love the other person and be the first one to say, Hey lets quit the arguing and talk this through calmly. It is often easier said than done but it does work. And don't automatically think of divorce during really bad times. Assume it's not an option and work things through. Unless, of course, you are being physically, mentally or emotionally abused. And lastly... Sex is a very important way to stay connected. Whether it be a quickie or an hour long session. (which are very rare LOL) If either of you have a fantasy that you would like to act out talk to your partner about it. If he/she says no then that's it.

You know, I got married in September after being together for 3 years... I know I'm no expert or not even close, but a friend gave me "The proper care and feeding of marrage" by Dr. Laura as a wedding present along with "the proper care and feeding of husbands" I read both of them on our honeymoon, it may not be quite what you were looking for but its really working for us.

Commitment,hard work,communication,trust,flexibility,unity,compass ion
And a strong mutual desire to make sure all of the above happen.

Been together since high school 29 years now and married for 21 without ever a breakup, for us our foundation is Respect & Communication, yes there is tremendous love and honor, adoration, caring & wanting to be together etc... If you learn to communicate you won't become resentful because your spouse isn't a mind reader & can't know what you are thinking if you don't share with them what is on your mind. Be respectful of those thoughts and don't be dismissive, from there the above posts offer very good advise.
The longest journey starts with one step.
Good Luck Bill...

Trust, Communication... Patience... Many different things that make a good marriage.

My favorite compromise.

Marriage isn't about having things your way.

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Originally Posted by Justwantfair

My favorite compromise.

Marriage isn't about having things your way.

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Oh I wish I could rate you on this one. Compromise is very important. I do not know how I could forget that one.

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Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

Oh I wish I could rate you on this one. Compromise is very important. I do not know how I could forget that one.

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I never forget that one, because everyday I work on helping my partner lose the art of stubborn and replace it with the art of compromise. :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Justwantfair

I never forget that one, because everyday I work on helping my partner lose the act of stubborn and replace it with the art of compromise. :D

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Now that's an art form to master... :D

I guess what I have learned with marriage is to set no expectations. This way everyday is new and there are no let downs.

Understanding that marriage isn't the fairytale;

It requires tender loving care at every junction. Good marriage are work that people don't see until they are in one. It isn't always rosey, but you have to always work to make it fresh - which requires both partners.

I think that is the greatest misconception is that love means that everything will fall into place.