I feel like my life is really messed up right now. I got married after dating this guy for about 4 years, but it didn't work out, and got involved with a married man, my boss at work. My divorce isn't even final yet. He approached me while I was married, and I think with all the other stress and pressure and the complete shock of my marriage not working out, I got sucked in... it has been 9 months now... and I know I need to get out now. I just get lonely not having someone around... and that's no excuse I know, but at times hearing him say he cares about me and loves, just does wonders.
I know this is a dead-end relationship, he will not leave his wife and kids, and I need to get out... I just need the courage to do it. His wife caught onto something a few months ago, but nothing came of it, she'll never leave him, even if she did find out he was cheating on her, and he says he can't leave her because of the kids.
Someone say something. Tear me apart, say anything...

You need to tell him that you want to end this. Be straight. The office atmosphere will change, be prepared for this. If he is bitter, he may find any excuse to fire you, be prepared for this also. You can do this.

Good luck to you,

Sarah

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Originally Posted by gonemad

I feel like my life is really messed up right now. I got married after dating this guy for about 4 years, but it didn't work out, and got involved with a married man, my boss at work. My divorce isn't even final yet. He approached me while I was married, and I think with all the other stress and pressure and the complete shock of my marriage not working out, I got sucked in....it has been 9 months now....and I know I need to get out now. I just get lonely not having someone around ....and that's no excuse I know, but at times hearing him say he cares about me and loves, just does wonders.
I know this is a dead-end relationship, he will not leave his wife and kids, and I need to get out....I just need the courage to do it. His wife caught onto something a few months ago, but nothing came of it, she'll never leave him, even if she did find out he was cheating on her, and he says he can't leave her because of the kids.
Someone say something. Tear me apart, say anything...

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You are human just like any of us. So the only things we can say about you, we are really saying about ourselves. Yeah, take it for what you will.


YOu feel like he cares and it's comforting, but you know he is married and there is no future.

Ok, so when he says those things he is manipulating you. YOu are vulnrable, and want to feel good. Since he says, "he loves" you, you get a does of dopamin which is produced in the brain. This gives you the euphoric feeling or high. You need to distance yourself form him. This will be hard as he is your boss. Super hard, it's up to you to deal with though.

“Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes.”
Confucius

“It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.”
Confucius

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.”
Confucius

“Respect yourself and others will respect you.”
Confucius

“Sometimes it's necessary to go a long distance out of the way in order to come back a short distance correctly.” ~Edward Albee

“There are some remedies worse than the disease.” ~Publilius Syrus
This one is interesting. See, you are dealing with a broken heart, but you sought to fix it in a manner that seems to have made things worse. Remember my friends, it is not the words that are important, but the meaning and spirit of the teaching. I believe buddha taught that.

I think you need to take maybe some stress leave? Sort yourself out a bit. Get intouch with who you really are, and take back control of yourself, as you seem to have just given up and let animal/biological urges take hold.

"Anything", :p;) You did tell me to say it... :D
Peace and kindness bewith you.

When you get tired of the suffering, you'll do something about it.

Getting involved with someone that is married is never a good idea. Would you want to be the person that tears the family apart?

You said you know he won't leave, so you leave him. Try to contact him at little as possible its for the best.

Don't fall for his games + lies. He most likely knows your vulnerable and is using that to is his advantage.

It doesn't matter if he don't want to leave especially if he isn't make you stay by force. You can turn this wrong into a right but you have to be strong and stay strong.

Everyone gets lonely sometimes and find healthy ways to cure it. Sometimes you have to dealt with that loneliness because it is okay to be alone. Just this time to find out about you. Get a cat or dog or maybe goldfishes but not a married man.

Eventually you will realize you are worth more than some booty call and leave this guy alone

You right you need to get out. I have been the other woman and trust me it is not a nice feeling. Everyone around you know that your husband is cheating except you. There is no hurt like being cheated on. It will take 3 months for you to get over him. Just get out and move on. You will feel better if you do it. Besides, if he can cheat on his wife he can cheat on you. Is that really worth it.

He's just a rebound or someone to comfort you while you are in pain. The longer you stay with him, the longer you drag out the suffering.

You can either stay with him and drag this all out even more or you can end it now so that you can start healing.