Ask Me Help Desk - Pregnant and he left me

Pregnant and he left me

I am 32, divorced with a 10 yr old. I was introduced to a man, equally as wealthy as I, that was going through a divorce. LET ME MAKE IT CLEAR, I DID NOT KNOW HIM WHEN HIS WIFE SERVED HIM DIVORCE PAPERS. She left because she found an even wealthier man. Also, I do not carry about how much money a man has NOR do I need it.

I went out with this man, we'll call him Martin. I like to drink wine and obviously he likes to drink too. A little too much. He is 8 years older than I am and he is a runner----runner I say because he likes to run away from problems... like most alcoholics. We spent many, many months together and hours upon hours of quality time. We became very close and we were great friends. His divorce isn't final, I told him I was pregnant, he said very cruel things to me, belittled me and doesn't want anything to do with me. This from a man that told me I was the woman of his dreams and the sexiest, most intelligent attractive lady he has ever met.

I am devastated. Should I contact him? Should I let my attorney handle him relinquishing his Parental Rights and not warn him? Abortion is NOT an option and I haven't heard from him in 10 days. We used to talk 4-5 times a day and spend every evening together. I so want to see him face to face and talk.

Ideas on his behavior and how to get him to talk to me? We do need to talk... we are professional adults.

Quote:

Originally Posted by FreeSpirit777

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I am devastated. Should I contact him? Should I let my attorney handle him relinquishing his Parental Rights and not warn him? Abortion is NOT an option and I haven't heard from him in 10 days. We used to talk 4-5 times a day and spend every evening together. I so want to see him face to face and talk.

Ideas on his behavior and how to get him to talk to me? We do need to talk...we are professional adults.

Frankly, I think you should write off the relationship. I think its pretty clear that he felt his parenting days were over and was blindsided by your becoming pregnant. It might even have felt this was done to get money from him (I'm not saying it was, just that he might feel that way).

As for relinquishing his rights, forget that. No court is going to terminate his rights in this situation.

If you want to talk to him, let him know you will be asking for child support, that may bring him back to the table.

Sorry, if he haven't answer your calls... he is just playing with you. Only you know the answer of your problem.

Thank you for your response

Quote:

Originally Posted by mroldan

sorry, if he haven't answer your calls... he is just playing with you. Only you know the answer of your problem.

I haven't tried to contact him... should I attempt?

FreeSpirit777, it is terrible that you even have to deal with this. I feel for you because I know how it feels to have a man completely turn on you.
My advice would be if you feel that you should contact him then do so. Only you know what is best for you, your 10 yr old and this unborn child. If you feel there is a chance he would be able to sit down and talk about it like an adult then go for it. But on the other hand, if he is an alcoholic that is not willing to change maybe you should think about moving on without him. It may be what is best for you and your children.
The important thing is that you are safe and your kids are safe. I wish you the best of luck and I congratulate you on choosing NOT to be abort! Take Care,

Quote:

Originally Posted by brunettegirl

FreeSpirit777, it is terrible that you even have to deal with this. I feel for you because I know how it feels to have a man completely turn on you.
My advice would be if you feel that you should contact him then do so. Only you know what is best for you, your 10 yr old and this unborn child. If you feel there is a chance he would be able to sit down and talk about it like an adult then go for it. But on the other hand, if he is an alcholic that is not willing to change maybe you should think about moving on without him. It may be what is best for you and your children.
the important thing is that you are safe and your kids are safe. I wish you the best of luck and I congratulate you on choosing NOT to be abort!! Take Care,

Brunettegirl... thank you, thank you. My heart tells me to call and I feel he does want to speak to me and see me... but my mind (due to my age!) gets in the way! I feel so afraid that if I call and he doesn't answer then I will feel my intution is wrong! LOL