Rights of Non-bio dad-guardianship vs adoption
My husband is the acting dad of a 14 yr old girl. 14 yrs ago toward the end of a relationship (not marriage) his ex-girlfriend informed him she was PG, he new it may not be his, he stayed during pregancy, went through birth, and first few months of newborns life, and during medical visits and finding out blood types did not add up, he ended the relationship, she sued for child support, paternity showed the child was not his, the birth cert was amended, and the relationship ended justly. HOWEVER guilt of knowing that this baby would grow up without a father, caused my husband to continue a parental relationship. The bio-dad was found and named on the birth cert, he pays the mom childsupport but wants NOTHING to do with the child. The girl now 14 yrs knows my husb is not her bio-dad, we all know, and we are all okay with the set up. HOWEVER being a teen (which I have two myself from a prev. marriage I know all to well divorce teens ect) this child is wanting to live with us, we are structured/family/loving/typical. Her mom is an alcoholic and a functional mess. My husband has no rights, not legally, etc. We've talked about adopting her but the fear of the mom rearing her ugly head to hot poker us with child support etc we won't. I've heard of something called planery guardian ship? Is this or is there some way for us to have some sort of formal rights to this child's well being without having to pay child supprt? We could care less about the cost of raising her, her mom could keep getting her hefty check from loser absent bio dad, and my husband would be happy being her acting dad. I would just hate to move this child in to have the mom rip her away! What can we do? We love her, and want the best for her. I think we could convice bio-mom that IF something were to happen to her, where or whom would the child go? That we need some sort of legal/formal something to show that my husband is the dad of this child, that he can allow medical treatment, that he does have a say... I know bio mom would agree... however again she would never do anything if it meant she lost her child support from the bio-dad or that my husband and I pay her something in exchange... sick but true. We just want some legal rights, we would NEVER ask the bio-mom for child support, she could keep her hefty check from bio dad, we just want to provide a good home for her... and she deperately wants to live with us... WHAT should we do? What type of guardian ship would work for us is WA state? Adoption puts us in the childsupport arena. Please help... Thanks in advance.