Ask Me Help Desk - Married hardly have sex

Married hardly have sex

Hello, I am married for for almost 16 years. We were young. He gets aggrivated becase I never want to have sex. It is not the I don't want to. It is different with a 16 and14 yr. old in the house. Not to mention he gets up for work at midnight. I am not going to wake him up. He has to drive and needs his sleep.When he somes home in the morning aroung 11 he sleeps for about 2 hours. He does not get enough sleep the way it is, and never has 2 days of in a row. He thinks I am just not into him. That is so far from the truth. He needs his sleep, in which he only gets about 5 or 6 hrs. a day, and [I] want him safe. He is never off 2 days in a row, So on the days is is off, when he snoozes about 8 pm, I let him go. What do I do?? Not to mention he does drive for a living and gets no time offf, so he can't take a day off.
He has tried a few times when the kids a home and up, but I am not comfortable with that. They are teens and I can't do it if they are up. They aren't little and I just cant.
HELP!

Time for some time to yourselves!! Get that motor running. Have him take a couple days of vacation, and if you can't get away from the house, wait till the kids go to school, and just climb into bed and stay there for most of the day. Tell your husband you still find him attractive and that you respect him working and needing his sleep. He needs to hear that you still want him, too. Good Luck!

Make time,somehow.His mental health is as important as a good nights rest.Give him something nice to think about on the road.
If it is that important to him,you need to find time.He can always go back to sleep.

He is there while the kids are in school so there's your opening for sex. Sometimes "quickies" do the trick if you can't have "home cooked sex". Your husband wants some intimacy from you and this require the two of you to find time.

You keep saying that he needs his sleep, which is true, but why not let him decide?

Talk to each other, find a way to make some time for this very important part of marriage, intimacy.

One day the kids won't be there anymore, then what? You'll look across at your husband and wonder "who the heck is that?"

You're not only a mom and dad, you're a couple, don't forget that aspect of your lives.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

You keep saying that he needs his sleep, which is true, but why not let him decide?

Talk to eachother, find a way to make some time for this very important part of marriage, intimacy.

One day the kids won't be there anymore, then what? You'll look across at your husband and wonder "who the heck is that?"

You're not only a mom and dad, you're a couple, don't forget that aspect of your lives.

Can't rep you Alty but it is such a classic end to an otherwise healthy marriage.You wake up one day in bed with a stranger because the relationship was all about being parents together and you lose each other along the way.It sad,really.It happens a lot.

I just asked my mother "how did she find time to have sex with my dad when I was a teenager?" She said "Why do you think I used to send you to the movies alot?"

Quote:

Originally Posted by liz28

I just asked my mother "how did she find time to have sex with my dad when I was a teenager?" She said "Why do you think I used to send you to the movies alot?"

My parents did the same thing.I think they called it *nookie saturday* :)

Lock the bedroom door and put earplugs in your ears. The kids will not only live right through your absence, they will learn how to maintain intimacy in their own marriages. It may feel like you're doing something wrong, but you're not. Kids may need to be protected to a point, teens need to know that their parents still have sex though, I think.

My teen says, predictably, "eeew mom! Were you guys actually doing it?"

I just grin and walk away saying, "it's our bedroom, what we're up to in there is private."