Hi I am new to this forum and would like some views on my situation. I have been married for 3 years now and me and my husband don't get on that well. We argue everyday there is not a day when we don't argue.
A few months ago, I met someone we started of from being friends and we grew closer and closer to each other.
Now my husband has changed he has become more caring, paying more attention and I don't feel the way he feels for me now.

The guy I am having a affair with loves me and is telling me to leave my husband for him, I'm confused I have tried to stop this relationship but we are so attracted to each other.
My close friend said this is just physical attraction not love!

First ditch the affair, focus on whether your marriage is worth saving or not.

Second, work on your choice. If you are staying with your husband to work out your marriage, you need to commit to him completely. If you aren't staying, then you need time alone to reevaluate yourself without anyone else in your life. Either way this affair has no place in your life.

You need to be honest with your husband.

Thank you for the reply. Did you mean tell my husband about the affair when you said be honest.

You chose to step out of your marriage and have an affair, now you have to deal with it.

The fact is, you're married. Good or bad, you made a commitment to this man, he at least deserves the truth, if not your effort to keep this marriage alive.

It takes two to make a marriage work, by stepping out of your marriage you've decided to give up.

Tell your husband the truth. If you really want to be with this other man then at least end your marriage first. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

Good luck.

Yes, you owe it to your husband to tell him.

You have emotionally abandoned him. You can't move forward when you have a pink elephant in the room.

You also need him to have all the information because he should be able to decide whether he wants his marriage to work out with you.

I know you are hopeful for answers that make you feel better and aleviate some of the guilt that you feel, but I know you know in your heart that you have made an inexcusable error.

Your friend is right, your looking for love in all the wrong places, and should be talking honestly to your husband. Take care of home first, and not be distracted by what's on the outside.

Good point every one has their own views I don't hold a grudge for what any of you have advised me.
I was not expecting anything good.
I agree I have stepped out my marriage but my husband has had an affair in the past and that led him to having a child with the other women.
I feel I should end this marriage I may carn for him but I don't trust him.

After reading your latest post, I agree with you. End the marriage. Take time to do some looking inward by yourself. Don't rush into living with the new guy. Strengthen your independence and get clear about what you want.

Sounds like things area bit tough at the moment.
You both got married to each other.you both made a vow.marriages need work from both parties.
You both have made serious mistakes.you both have gone back on your vows.
To get your marriage back on track,maybe some professional guidance can help.
Good communication is an essential key to reestablishing a positive relationship.

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Originally Posted by spicy x

Good point every one has their own views i dont hold a grudge for what any of you have adviced me.
I was not expecting anything good.
I agree i have stepped out my marriage but my husband has had an affair in the past and that led him to having a child with the other women.
I feel i should end this marriage i may carn for him but i dont trust him.

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If you couldn't get past the affair then you needed to sit down with him and end the marriage.

Don't look to make justifications for your own affair.

If you care for your husband, end both of your relationships and work on yourself.

Good luck to you.

I think that given your husbands past infidelity you should do whatever makes you happy. Just be prepared to live with the consequences.

I am not justifiying anything and neither have I said that I am doing right but I never planned it either, I met him as a friend I have many men friends I just did not think I would fall for him.

When my Husband had a affair I left him for a bit but then we spoke and got back together. I have never felt like this with my husband.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by spicy x

i am not justifiying anything and neither have i said that i am doing right but i never planned it either, i met him as a friend i have many men friends i just did not think i would fall for him.

When my Husband had a affair i left him for a bit but then we spoke and got back together. I have never felt like this with my husband.

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To stay in a marriage that you want out of and to pretend everything is O.K. is to cheat everyone.No body wins in that situation.

However,I have yet to see a relationship that begins with dishonesty ever have a long range decent outcome.

If you are leaving for the BF know that that may not work out.If you are leaving because you no longer love your husband and the marriage is over,than go for it.

The thing is, every time you make a connection with someone new, the feeling is going to be a brand new one that you have never experienced. This can't be a justification for leaving a good relationship because it will happen again and again. However, if you haven't been able to get over his infidelity, and if that is what makes it easier for you to connect with someone else then maybe your relationship isn't going to work and you're better off ending it.