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-   -   My boyfriend doesn't want to have sex with me (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=341824)

  • Apr 15, 2009, 06:38 AM
    pixiegurl
    My boyfriend doesn't want to have sex with me
    My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now, and when we first got together we were having sex quite regularly (4 or more times a week). This slowed down after a while to maybe 2 times a week, which I was fine with, but now it's like he NEVER wants to have sex with me. He is very affectionate and loving. He kisses me on the cheek all the time and he cuddles me all the time, but there is never anything beyond that! When we do have sex it is great, but it just never happens. I am getting so frustrated by never having sex, but when I bring it up with him he just gets really down and upset that he is not satisfying me and so now I am too scared to say anything for fear of hurting his feelings. I'm lucky if we have sex once every fortnight now. We have a wonderful relationship apart from our sex issues. What is going on with him? How can I get him to have more sex with him? Any help will be greatly appreciated!
  • Apr 15, 2009, 06:49 AM
    Joshdta

    How old are you?
  • Apr 15, 2009, 06:50 AM
    pixiegurl

    I'm 19 and he is 22.
  • Apr 15, 2009, 07:01 AM
    Joshdta

    How long ago did this lack a sex drive start?
    Has anything else changed, school, work, friends?
  • Apr 15, 2009, 07:33 AM
    shazamataz

    It could just be that he is tired, or stressed out or on the flip side he might just not be feeling as strongly about you as he used to.
    The only way to find out is to ask him about it.
  • Apr 15, 2009, 12:45 PM
    h_leann_b

    Try to avoid tellimg him what he is NOT doing and compliment him when he does. Consider saying something to him like.. I have a new position/toy etc. for us to try.

    Are you waiting for him to make the first move, or do you often make the first moves?

    If nothing you try is working all you can really do is talk to him. But if you are just not talking to him to avoid hurting his feelings its not a good sign. Eventually you will have a lot of built up sexual frustration and might explode on him, or end your relationship. Its best to get all of your feelings on the table.
  • Apr 15, 2009, 08:52 PM
    pixiegurl

    It started around 4 months ago I guess.

    I'm usually pretty clear about making a move on him to start something, but he acts like he isn't getting the signals. I think its pretty strong when I start touching him and kissing him in certain places.

    But yes, your right. I think it will just eventually build up a lot until I explode at him.

    *sigh*

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