Hey guys, I just wanted to start a thread. Have anyone just broken up with ex and now they are with someone new so fast after the break up. The thought of your ex being intimate and close with someone else is hurtful because just a while ago you were the one doing those couple things with your ex.

How do you stop this hurt? Any suggestions? And yes time does heal all wounds but I'm just wondering what can you do now besides trying to not think about because that is inevitable.

Any words of wisdom or suggestions?

Ahh man... this is surely one of the most painful things to think about and picture. So.. try to not do it :) I can relate as I almost still to this day get nautious thinking about my ex with someone else, so I just try REAL hard to not think like that. You almost have to tell yourself "no" as soon as those thoughts cross your mind and try to think about something else immediately. We can actually control our thoughts to some degree, or at least not let them run completely wild!

Eventually with TIME you will come to accept what has become of you and the ex, and perhaps you too will have moved on which of course will make it easier also. Be easy on yourself.

Thumper

Honey plain out and simple you weren't ready to get into another relationship. I made the mistake of well I can date others to forget about him. That doesn't work. You need time for yourself take a few months or so. Go have fun for a while and forget about love and relationships. Honestly if you feel this way about your ex then honey you're doing the one you're with wrong. You need to sit them down and talk to them. Don't just leave them hanging but my best advice is to break it off for a while. Tell them that you like them a lot but you started dating while on rebound and if they're worth your time they'll wait but with the way you feel about your ex I would consider if you really care about this person you're with. Would you really want to be with someone that felt the same?

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Originally Posted by Blushingbride

Honey plain out and simple you weren't ready to get into another relationship. I made the mistake of well I can date others to forget about him. That doesn't work. You need time for yourself take a few months or so. Go have fun for a while and forget about love and relationships. Honestly if you feel this way about your ex then honey you're doing the one you're with wrong. You need to sit them down and talk to them. Don't just leave them hanging but my best advice is to break it off for a while. Tell them that you like them alot but you started dating while on rebound and if they're worth your time they'll wait but with the way you feel about your ex I would consider if you really care about this person you're with. Would you really want to be with someone that felt the same?

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What are you talking about? Wrong thread?

yes.. this is exactly what is happening to me right now... I feel sick every time I think about them. I don't think I have any good suggestions for you right now, since everything is still so fresh. But when I think about my ex with his new friend (which I know her too) I just think about the good stuff that I have done. And how proud I am of myself for healing by myself, being strong, being happy and not just finding any random person to be with.

A lot people say that this is the worst it can get, its good, I even saw it with my own eyes, so now I think it will just get better.

If you read my past threads, this is EXACTLY what happened to me. Found out on the night of my birthday. Yes, it sucks. I had a really rough time dealing with it, but it is life. You get on and move on eventually. The best thing about it is that it gives you the true closure you never really had. As doobi said, this is the worst it gets. Yes, it isn't what you wanted, but things are only going to get better from here.

I found out my ex was sleeping with a new guy about a month after we broke up but I was so focused on my recovery and getting into shape that it didn't bother me too much. It hurt for exactly one day, she put it on her away message and that's when everything got deleted and I headed to the gym.

I found out about my ex and the other guy, by searching for pictures of a fundraiser she attended on the Internet. Sure enough there she was, with this guy standing right next to her. The worst part was, she looked absolutely gorgeous and her and this a-hole were shacking up together.

Of course you know what they say "a picture is worth 1000 words." I didn't take that advice and went on to find out more.

So I called her after a few days of settling down and asked her what her and this dude did together. This was a big and VERY painful mistake. At least she was honest to me at that time, but she could have told me her real intentions from the start instead of "letting me down softly" and allowing me to hope there was more in our future.

Oh well... life goes on.

As Rome so eloquently points out, when you have those thoughts, get off you butt, and do something to change them.

True, you sometimes cannot control what goes through your brain, but you can sure as heck control what you do about it.

Make a plan right now, of the action you will take to change your own thoughts.

Unless your so perfect you can't think of not one area of your life to improve on, or enjoy.

Sorry to be harsh, but show me a guy who can't deal with what life throws at him, and I'll show you a guy who is inexperienced, or pathetic.

Decide which are you. You can do something about both conditions. It requires action on your part.

I find starting to go out there and ready to be around people helps. Just being around people, family and friends can be great help =P especially friends that make you go out and have fun.

Try not to jump into another relationship after a break up; memories are like flash backs.. :| Give time.

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Originally Posted by Animatea

Try not to jump into another relationship after a break up; memories are like flash backs.. :| Give time.

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Yah, I mean not a relationship just get out there. After a devastating break up, it ll take a while to get into a relationship again. Like hang out with your friends and stuff

The hurt will go away when you open your heart to the possibility of finding another love.
I met my boyfriend shortly after he watched his ex-girlfriend find someone new. I want to thank her for dumping him after their 1.5 year relationship. He has been with me for over a year and we are happier than he had ever been with her. His ex-girlfriend on the other hand, has been in and out of at least 5 relationships in the past year.

none, my friend, it sucks! My girl moved out to be with another guy. Totally out of nowhere and I trusted her but they had been seeing each other for almost a month if not longer.

hurts hurts hurts!! Ultimate betrayal! I am day 7 of NC but man the images really hurt and I just don't dwell on them. If they didn't respect our loving relationship and what we had, there's no way in hell the next one will magically be all better and she's just abusing herself, body, and emotions. Hope they are happy together =)

.. in hell!

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Originally Posted by stillfading

none, my friend, it sucks! my girl moved out to be with another guy. totally out of nowhere and i trusted her but they had been seeing each other for almost a month if not longer.

hurts hurts hurts!!! ultimate betrayal! i am day 7 of NC but man the images really hurt and i just dont dwell on them. if they didnt respect our loving relationship and what we had, there's no way in hell the next one will magically be all better and she's just abusing herself, body, and emotions. hope they are happy together =)

..in hell!

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stillfading, it won't get any easier for a while. I feel the same, my ex with another guy now too. I've learned that there is nothing we can do but learn to cope it with it, keep strong, busy, go out meet new people I guess and find our own happiness without them. To be honest I never thought my ex was the type of girl that would betray me, but now we know they are and they are not worthy to keep.

we need someone who is loyal and love us till the very end. If I had a penny for every time I've heard this than ill be a millionaire now: there are other fish in the sea. I never thought I would be saying it but it is so true. Better ones, prettier ones and more perfect than we can ever imagine we just needa go look for them. At first I so didn't believe this, but now I do. I know I am right and we ll find better people that will treat us better and not even think of betraying us.

by the way. 7 days of NC. GOOD JOB MAN KEEP IT UP. I lost count of mine but somewhere in 4 weeks. The longer you keep in NC, it ll start to hurt less each day but very slowly and you ll start to realize you don't need them anymore and you deserve to be happy and how horribly they treated you. Lets just say I'm in the 4th week, I've progressed a little from the beginning of NC but not that much, I guess it takes a long time to heal. Anywys write back buddy =P

In the end, you ll be thankful they left you because you would have already found your true love, someone way better than them, and instead of feeling anger towards them you ll start feeling pity lol I think... from what people told me but I can see the reasoning XD