Hi my name is daniel and I am gay, I have a boyfriend, we are both 21. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 months and living together for 3, lately he has been very busy with work and has had little time for sex, so I have not asked for it because I know he doesn't want it, has told me his libido is smaller than mine on more than one occasion, so for a week we have done nothing. We did have a moment where we were having fun and there was mutual play, he finished and went into the bathroom to clean up and said he'd be back, after a few minutes he came back and asked to lie down for a few minutes, after 15 minutes I got dressed and went upstairs feeling unwanted and he made no attempt to com after me or finish what we started. Last night was easter and my parents wanted me to sleep at home for this occasion so I obliged and slept at home, then this afternoon, he tells me since I left earlier yesterday he jerked himself off 4 times, that's four times in 20 hours and once with me in a whole week. He sees nothing wrong with that and does not care that I care, he thinks I'm being stupid and says that I do it, even though he knows I do it 2 or 3 times a week when he shows no interest, even though I always ask him first if he wants to join me, he says no. what is wrong with me?? Is it me?? I know he likes when I do it, does he just stop himself from wanting it from me because he feels obliged to do it to me afterwards and that is what keeps himself from doing it?? I am so confused and upset, what do I do?

You need to talk to him but do it in a positive way. Don't say "You never or why don't you",etc. Say things like " I would like if you or remember when we use to " something along those lines. But don't make it sound accusing.

Give yourself a deadline for change and if nothing changes then you have another decision to make. However don't beat yourself up by blaming yourself or start second guessing yourself because this will only play on yourself esteem( and you don't want that to go down).

A major open talk with your boyfriend is in order because if you can't talk your problem out then how can the relationship works?

Life often gets in our way of doing things the way we use to. Never take it personally, just talk, and make some adjustments.

When we pout, and walk away, and think in anger from being disappointed, we close the door to the opportunities to learn about our partner, and maybe discover what's really on their minds.

Understanding and patients goes further that assuming and reacting in anger, hurt, or disappointment.

Hey there =)


Yeah sadly life gets in the way of a few things, its normaly to have one partner have a bigger sex drive than the other,
the best thing you can do.. is just try to be understanding and also talk to him,

I've known couples that have been together for 2 years and have not had sex yet,

due to another member having a really bad sexual episode.. the partner is very understanding of this, they have both spoken about there feelings, and they are working on this issue

so as you can see you are not the only one that this is happaning to.

All the best =)
and just remember sex is not the most imporant thing in a relationship
its great yes, but try and do other things together

try and make him play with you a bit.. then after you play with him.

Its less work, plus it can be fun =)