My son is getting married in February. My mother (grandma) is exerting extreme pressure about family members who she wants included. These family members had little if anything to do with my son. He does not want to invite these people. I am stuck in the middle. Help!

It is your sons wedding, he should be stuck in the middle, since it is his choice as to who comes.

But sorry ganny while she may mean well, only has a voice if your son lets her, and you only have a voice if your son lets you.

Fr Chuck has made some very good points.

I wish to add a bit though…

And she also only has a voice if she is picking up a huge portion of the tab of this wedding.

If she is not paying for this wedding, she needs to shut her yap. I wouldn't phrase it exactly like that though to her.

It sounds like they need to have a Grandmother/Grandson talk. Father Chuck is right - you shouldn't have to be caught in the middle...

Yes I had the wedding from, ( well it was not heaven sent anyway)

My mom would not come because my wife to be was not white.
My dad would not speak up to my mom about his point of view, he stopped having one about 1970.

My wife's parents are separated not divorced, but her mom would not come if her dad came, and her sister would not come if her dad came, her dad had to come if her mom was invited.

So we elouped to the mountains of TN, had a wonderful private wedding, saved a lot of money and combined the honeymoon and the wedding all in one.

It's not Grandma's wedding. She has to take her nose out of it. Maybe someone could find a tactful way of telling her that. If not then let her continue to rant and rave but ignore her rantings. Your son and his fiancée make out the guest list ; Grandma doesn't.

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Originally Posted by mominlaw

My son is getting married in February. My mother (grandma) is exerting extreme pressure about family members who she wants included. These family members had little if anything to do with my son. He does not want to invite these people. I am stuck in the middle. Help!

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Your son and mother should sit together and discuss, probably wise his fiancée joins the conversation too.
She needs to know what he wants in HIS wedding and decissions are actually really down to him.
But it could be wise that talk it through together and if grandma really respects and loves him she should respect his decission.

She can suggest that you invite these people, but if your son Hardly knows them, he shouldn't feel obligated to invite them. Maybe this "grandma" should have made more of an effort to get these people invilved in the lives of her kids and grandkids, if they are so important to her.

This thread is over 4 years old and the OP has never returned. I'm sure the son is married by now.

Thread closed