My kids don't want to spend holidays or come visit anymore. They are from 24 to 31 and it makes us sad that they don't come to visit. They all live at least 3 hours away and haven't been to our home for 1-1/2 years. I miss my grandkids and they only time I get to see them is when I drive to see them. The last time we were all together my husband was having depression problems and he has a tendency to tell everyone how to live their lives. In the meantime, we have been separated for 3 months because of it and now he is doing better. He blamed all of the kids and talked about them behind their backs to the other children. I wish I could fix it. What do you suggest.

So you drive and see the grandkids, when you are there, try and build a better relationship with them.

Your ex ( or are you back with him) seems to have dug a hole, it may take years of good behavior to make things better for him

Mend the fences with your husband, before you can mend the fences with your kids.

You may have to leave him at home until then.

They are not children anymore for one. To put blame on other people by your ex or husband is not fair at all. Each of your children have to live their own lives.

Always be open to your relationship with your children. That is important. No matter what your husband/ex says. Do not try to fix anything. It may resolve eventually, but it is up to your ex to mend fences. Just keep your relationships open.

Take care...

Joe