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-   -   What to do? Is there a chance of them getting back together? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=340286)

  • Apr 11, 2009, 12:55 PM
    boobz
    What to do? Is there a chance of them getting back together?
    A girl and her boyfriend, been having some trouble n their relationship . It came to the conclusion of him breaking up with her, says that he having problems of his own and right now, he is unable to give her the attention she needs, and He doesn't want to hurt her anymore. She's broken hearted, and cries herself to sleep every night. She loves him so much!

    Edited to English
  • Apr 11, 2009, 03:13 PM
    N0help4u

    The more she tries to find out about getting back together the more likely it will push him further away. The best thing she can do is keep her distance and if she ever does have the opportunity to talk with him she can let him know that she will gladly be back with him if and when he wants.
  • Apr 11, 2009, 03:23 PM
    artlady

    She needs to be strong and understand that she never really had him to rely on to begin with.
    She needs to be reliant on herself and realize she will be stronger and better off without someone who quits on her.
    She will learn and will not need him and she will be independent!
  • Apr 11, 2009, 04:47 PM
    talaniman

    She really needs to love herself, as much as she loves him. Break ups hurt a lot, but moving on, is what she must do. In time, it gets better.
  • Apr 12, 2009, 06:16 AM
    roxypox

    Please, don't use chat speak... it makes the post just hard to read... if you don't use chat speak you will get more answers, because people can actually read every word clearly.

    With that said; if its to hard for you to call him to get him to pick up his things; then send him a text, make an appointment for when he will come over to get his things and leave it on the steps of your house or in the garage (at the time you have appointed) and stay inside the house, or away from it... you could also get a friend of yours to hand them over etc.

    As for trying again; he made a choice and if he was unreliable or hurt you again and again, he might have realized that the two of you shouldn't be together; and although this is painful to you now... that might have been a good decision for the both of you... why be stuck in the same old, hurtful and painful pattern forever??
  • Apr 12, 2009, 06:25 AM
    liz28

    The guy sounds like he has his mind make up and no matter what she can't change his feelings but she can work on hers.

    She needs to pull herself back together and not make herself feel any lower by contacting him. She has to accept that it's over and let go.

    Cry if she has to but no contact to him in any form. Keep herself busy by hanging out with family and friends. Stop focusing on him and get rid anything that reminds her of him. Don't listen to sad or depressing songs nor movies and take it day by day.
  • Apr 12, 2009, 06:35 AM
    najwanajati
    The right thing is to leave him forever, this decision is the right one. The man who loves dearly his girl won't let her cry and never hurt her. It is better for you to leave him now, don't back to him again
  • Apr 15, 2009, 10:14 AM
    boobz
    Conversation with her ex. Should she make the first move or wait on him?
    My friend contacted her ex boyfriend who broke up wit her( the one who said he don't want to hurt her anymore and he can't give her the attention, love and affection she needs at the time). He immediately tells her how much he misses her and tell her that he only did it because he think she would be better off without him and that he is working on himself to make himself better for her. She still loves him and wants to be with him but she didn't let him know that! The only thing she said through the conversation was that it should be her choice to decide who and what is good for her. He text her and lets her know that he love her so much.. She is very confused. She wants him back and realize its not hard to get him back. But she's wondering if that's a good idea or should she wait until he comes to her? He also told her that basically he just needed space to get himself right. But she feels as though that's something they should have worked on together! Is that just how men is with their "egos"? They feel like they have to do certain things on their own?.
  • Apr 16, 2009, 10:17 AM
    Sweetwell

    Women fake orgasms, men fake relationships.
    Women need space to sort emotions from logic without the confusion of additional external input. Men don't need jack.

    When a guy says, 'He didn't want to hurt her anymore and he can't give her the attention, love and affection she needs, and he only did it because he thinks she would be better off without him and that he is workin' on himself', translate: I want to break up with you, be clear we are no longer a number, no commitments, I will play the field, but this is the best way to put it without hurting your feelings.

    When he immediately tells her how much he misses her, he may be recalling some of the better times they had together, but most likely refers to the free sex.

    When he also told her that basically he just needed space to get himself right, translate: I still do not want a long term relationship or commitment with you.
    But she feels as though that's something they should have worked on together... and she's right! And believe me, if he was interested, he wouldn't have gone anywhere. He'd be right there working on it. You couldn't get rid of him.

    Bottom line, forget about him. He'll come around so long as there's something in it for him, but will bolt for greener pastures at first chance.
    Appreciate the time you had together to explore the possibilities and enjoy each others company, but it's time to move on. It was a test drive. That's what dating's about.
  • Apr 16, 2009, 03:35 PM
    DazzaGal
    Not all women fake orgasms and not all men fake relationships, in my opinion-yes sometimes things do change in relationships and either partner can appear less interested than they once was, but that doesn't mean that they were faking it all along. Just as women need certain things from a relationship, and we women are all different so I guess we can all want/need slightly different things-men need too, again all men being different I'm assuming that they too need slightly different things.
    What ever our needs are and whether we are getting them determines whether we stay in that particular relationship or not,
    If this partner has said that he needs space then that's what he needs, whether it is the case will tell in time, while he is taking the time to work on himself/she should do the same also, make herself stronger as an individual.

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