Not long after our split, I took full custody of our eldest child. The youngest stayed with mom, but there was an active support order for both children. Since I had proof of custody, they took one child off the support order but I continued to have to pay for the other. After some convincing, the mother stopped the active support because it didn't seem fair for one child to be supported and not the other. Now after 10 years, she wants to restart the case retroactively from the time that she stopped it. I never had an order on the child in my custody, but I can start one. It seems to me like this would amount to us passing the same money back and forth. If I start one, how far can I go back? Is it worth it? I'd prefer to just call it even and we both take care of the child in our custody. We are in separate states (Illinois and California). One time in court I heard the judge say that new cases can start from whenever, but if it was stopped, it would start from the time that you requested it to restart. I talked to the agency and they don't care that she's not paying support for her 1st child, only if I have an order. What should I do besides get a lawyer?

First off what state did this take place in ? The order for custody ? What state did the support order originate from ?

Is there a large difference between what you make and what she makes ?

All things being equal there shouldn't be any support orders because you have split custody. But if there is a significant differences then there may be some to compensate for the difference.

Get an attorney.

Your problem was not getting this settled 10 years ago.

You may well owe 10 years of back support if there was a court order in effect. It appears you never went to get a court order for child support of the child you had legal custody over
This is assuming you had legal custody of the other child though a court order not a informal agreement.

You need a serioius attorney, this can easily turn bad against you more than you would believe

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Originally Posted by califdadof3

First off what state did this take place in ? The order for custody ? What state did the support order originate from ?

Is there a large difference between what you make and what she makes ?

All things being equal there shouldnt be any support orders because you have split custody. but if there is a signifigant differences then there may be some to compensate for the difference.

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There is a huge difference in pay, but I do have another order from a previous marriage. Why couldn't they just lower the amount I pay to make an even amount for both? If she gets $500 per month and I get $250, is she actually getting $250 in the end? Why jump through so many hoops to get to that result? Order came interstate from California.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

your problem was not getting this settled 10 years ago.

You may well owe 10 years of back support if there was a court order in effect. It appears you never went to get a court order for child support of the child you had legal custody over
This is assuming you had legal custody of the other child though a court order not a informal agreement.

You need a serioius attorney, this can easily turn bad against you more than you would believe

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She agreed to stop it 10 years ago. It's not that I was supposed to pay and haven't been for 10 years and now they caught me. I can still get an order for support because the child in my legal custody is a minor.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

You need a serioius attorney, this can easily turn bad against you more than you would believe

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The problem with this is affording a serious attorney with all of this going on. If there's nothing he can do, then I'll owe him and her:-(

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Originally Posted by FightingFather

She agreed to stop it 10 years ago. It's not that I was supposed to pay and haven't been for 10 years and now they caught me. I can still get an order for support because the child in my legal custody is a minor.

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The parties AGREEING to end the support does not end support. Support has to be ended by Court Order. If there is a Court Order for support and it was never modified, I think you will owe the past due monies. You would in NY but, of course, you aren't in NY.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

The parties AGREEING to end the support does not end support. Support has to be ended by Court Order. If there is a Court Order for support and it was never modified, I think you will owe the past due monies. You would in NY but, of course, you aren't in NY.

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Yeah but how can the department of child support just stop collecting from me without some kind of changes being made to the order? They were ordered to collect just like I was ordered to pay. Just wondering.

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Originally Posted by FightingFather

Yeah but how can the department of child support just stop collecting from me without some kind of changes being made to the order? They were ordered to collect just like I was ordered to pay. Just wondering.

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You would be surprised at what those people can and will do without court orders or letting the law stand in their way. Excuse my french but they are idiots that run the California child support collection division and they don't care about anything but money. That's how they make thiers. So you could end up with someone making minimum wage and a chip on their shoulder making decisions that drastically effect your life. Be VERY careful when dealing with them.

Thanks for all the input.