Ok, I have been with my boyfriend off and on for 4 years.. last July I got really drunk and blacked out.. and don't exactly know what happened.. I only remember bits and pieces of the night and what my friend told me.. my boyfriend was in Amsterdam at the time.. and I told him the very next day in a email about what had happened.. he had 2 weeks or so to bash me and everything else..

I just found out on Sunday, that my boyfriend cheated on me a couple of months ago.. and than made out with a stripper that was staying at his dad's house on Friday.. I was so hurt.. he told me he wasn't thinking and he was drinking.. everyone was pressuring him to drink and saying how much the girl liked him.. he said he made the mistakes.. but it'll never happen again.. he said he wants to show me that he can be the same guy I fell in love with!

He gave me a 2nd chance, so I am giving him one

Everyone but a couple of people in my family thinks I should give him the 2nd chance..

Am I stupid for believing he will change? It is possible right?

I would find it hard to believe he just discards this as a "mistake"... no sh** it was a mistake! Both of you blame your problems on alcohol, so the obvious solution to any type of healthy relationship to exist between the two of you is: QUIT DRINKING! You both obviously have an issue with it. If you can't handle your alcohol, and you like to use it as an excuse to screw other people, then put the bottle down.

Stop tapping the bottle, you'll be amazed at the self reservations one can have without a clouded mind.

A second chance is given but only if you accept that it happened, resolve the conflict and be done with it. Don't let it build or be brought up in every argument

Well I agree with the drinking for sure! But you can't point fingers at him when your guilty yourself.

There are two questions for you to answer:

1) Does he believe that you will change?
2) Do you believe that he will change?

You don't really need to ask our advice. Just look deep down your heart. Do you trust him?

He will have to do the same.

Both of you have issues. All this on and off for 4 years isn't good.

Sometimes you have to just throw in the towel and move on.

Thank you everyone.. is there a way you can erase questions on here?

Embarrassed by the responses?

One thing is alcohol often gives people courage to do things they wouldn't normally do if they were sober. So I have to wonder about the events that happened if the alcohol was just used as an excuse.

You said you blacked out- when you get to the stage of blacking out, that means your body is so used to this outrageous amount of alcohol that it shuts down. Social drinkers don't black out, heavy drinkers do. And now you find out he cheated on you, also citing alcohol as the blame.

This relationship is doomed. There is no respect for yourselves or each other.

I think it's obvious that you both need to chill out on the drinking because you can't handle it.

Don't give him a second chance it will only hurt u more when u found out he's cheated on you again he wants the stripper let him go!!

I agree with the comment above me
Don't give him the chance because once a man cheats there's lots of possibilities that he will cheat again. If you do give him another chance he'll feel like if he does have control over your feelings. Don't be fooled just move on.