Ask Me Help Desk - Does my boyfriend trust me?

Hey my name is April,and I'm having trouble getting my boyfriend to trust me.I have been dating my boyfriend Travis for two years and it has been the best two years of my life except for the fact that he doesn't seem to trust me as much as I trust him. He has a lot of friends and when one of them like me he says that they just like me because he's dating me.When someone tells me something about him liking or flirting with a different girl I tell them to stop hating but when someone tells him I was flirting with another guy he gets all mad and says that I made him look stupid today.When I do something stupid he puts me on punishment,which I think is sort of stupid because he isn't my dad,but when he does something stupid I don't get mad at him or anyhing which makes him think that I let him get away with a bunch of stuff so he thinks that I don't care about him the way he cares about me.If I didn't care about him the same way he cared about me then why do I give him space to live his life and not up his butt all the time getting my friends to watch him and hiring my friend as his bodyguard?
Does he trust me or care about me the way I do about him,from the heart?I appreciate it if you would write me back because most websites I go to they don't write me back because they think I ask to many questions.

Signed,
April

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When I do something stupid he puts me on punishment,

What does that mean? How does he punish you?

Generally speaking when people have trust issues its because they have low self esteem.Unless you have done something in the past to make him distrust you.

If you have done nothing ,then it is his problem.

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Does he trust me or care about me the way I do about him,from the heart?

No one here can answer that question.He does not appear to trust you but as far as love only he knows how he feels.

Try to not flirt and maybe he will trust you more.Girls should not flirt with other guys when they have a boyfriend.It gives the wrong impression.

He sounds like a very controlling guy. I'm not sure what you see in him. The trust seems to be broken already. I suggest that you break up.

If you really want to save this relationship, you're just going to have to talk it out with him. Tell him everything you told us. He what his response is.

Just remember, if there is no trust, there is no relationship. You would just be fooling yourselves by staying together.

Don't think that because you have been with this guy for 2 years that you have to stay with him. You deserve to be in a loving relationship rooted in trust. You shouldn't have to "prove" your devotion to him.

Artlady made some good points (had to apread the rep!) but it's disrespectful to flirt with other guys especially when he's already insecure. I'm also curious to know what "punishment" entails.

Sounds like it's a one sided relationship to me, if he does something wrong then you seem to be OK with it but if you do something wrong then he tried to make you feel like its your fault, he's trying to put you down and you shoulnt let him do that. I suggest sitting down with him and tell him to stop acting so childish about it and tell him how you feel about it all.

Give up he's a he cheats on u get ova it DUMP HIM!!

I don't see this relationship lasted very long. You flirt and he flirts with other people. Harmless flirting is okay but, mainly him, get mad at the other person when your doing the same thing.

Your boyfriend sounds like he has major issues that stems from his own insecurities. Then to top it off he is controlling acting like a parent rather than a mate to you. I know you didn't go out looking for another dad so why stay with someone that tries to be one to you?

You can't make someone trust you. This is something a person must already have for you and if they don't you will continually find yourself going out your way just to prove a point. If after 2 years he doesn't get it and can't trust you, sorry but he never will especially if you never gave him a plausible reason not to.

If this is where your relationship is at after 2 years, I hate to see where it would be headed in 4 years. This relationship done hit a dead end and staying with someone just because he is familiar to you is called "settling". I mean if you really to ask strangers if your boyfriend stills care for you than yes something is majorly wrong.

I would love to hear how your boyfriend "punishes you". So I hope you return and think about all the red flags here.

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Originally Posted by liz28

I don't see this relationship lasted very long. You flirt and he flirts with other people. Harmless flirting is okay but, mainly him, get mad at the other person when your doing the same thing.

Your boyfriend sounds like he has major issues that stems from his own insecurities. Then to top it off he is controling acting like a parent rather than a mate to you. I know you didn't go out looking for another dad so why stay with someone that tries to be one to you?

You can't make someone trust you. This is something a person must already have for you and if they don't you wil continually find yourself going out your way just to prove a point. If after 2 years he doesnt get it and can't trust you, sorry but he never will especially if you never gave him a plausible reason not to.

If this is where your relationship is at after 2 years, I hate to see where it would be headed in 4 years. This relationship done hit a dead end and staying with someone just because he is familiar to you is called "settling". I mean if you really to ask strangers if your boyfriend stills care for you than yes something is majorly wrong.

I would love to hear how your boyfriend "punishes you". So I hope you return and think about all the red flags here.

Can't rep you Liz but this relationship done hit a dead end not only cracked me up but it rings very true!

He sound controlling and insecure. All he wants to do is control you. He doesn't see you as the beautiful girl you are he see's you as his property. That's why he flips when someone shows interest in you. He doesn't want anyone messing with his property.