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-   -   The Hipppie and the Nun (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=339156)

  • Apr 8, 2009, 10:27 AM
    liz28
    The Hipppie and the Nun
    One day a hippie gets a ride on a public bus and sees a hot young nun. He sits down next to her and promptly asks if she would like to have sex, to which she immediately says no and walks off the bus. The bus driver leans over and says “Hey guy I know how to get that nun to have sex with you…” Naturally the hippie asks, and the bus driver tells him that every night at midnight the nun goes to an old graveyard to pray for god to forgive her for her past, and that he should dress up like god and tell the nun she will be forgiven if she has sex with you.The hippie gives his thanks and runs to the nearest costume shop.Later that evening the hippie gets ready for his big night and drives down to the graveyard and sees the nun praying, on her knees. He says “Behold, I have heard your prayers and you shall be forgiven if you have sex with me!”The nun agrees but asks if they can have anal sex in order to keep her virginity. The hippie agrees and once they are finished the hippie jumps back and pulls off his mask and says “Surpise, its me the Hippie!”The nun jumps up and pulls off her mask and says “Surprise, its me the bus driver!”
  • Apr 8, 2009, 10:29 AM
    mudweiser
    OMG liz:eek:

    Haha!

    MRS.S
  • Apr 8, 2009, 10:33 AM
    artlady

    I love it! Nun jokes are my favorite.
    Must be all that Catholic hitting with the ruler I saw as a child :)
  • Apr 8, 2009, 11:24 AM
    liz28
    Here goes another nun joke since Artlady likes them:

    The three Nuns

    Three nuns were talking. The first nun said 'I was cleaning the Fathers room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines ''What did you do?' the other nuns asked.

    'Well, of course I threw them in the trash'

    The second nun said, ' Well, I can top that. I was in Father's room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms ''Oh my' gasped the other nuns.

    'What did you do?' they asked.

    'I poked holes in all of them' she replied.

    The third nun said, 'Oh .'sh*t'
  • Apr 8, 2009, 11:34 AM
    albear

    Lmao
  • Apr 8, 2009, 12:00 PM
    liz28

    I didn't want to ask this but I see it all the time-what does lmao means?
  • Apr 8, 2009, 12:07 PM
    mudweiser
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by liz28 View Post
    I didn't want to ask this but I see it all the time-what does lmao means?

    Laughing My Ass Off


    MRS.S
  • Apr 8, 2009, 12:07 PM
    albear

    Laughing My Arse Off :)
  • Apr 8, 2009, 12:14 PM
    excon

    Hello liz:

    Can you guess what ROTFLMFAO is?

    excon
  • Apr 8, 2009, 12:15 PM
    mudweiser
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by excon View Post
    Hello liz:

    Can you guess what ROTFLMFAO is?

    excon

    Oo oo I know I know..

    MRS.S
  • Apr 8, 2009, 12:25 PM
    albear

    Pick me! Pick me! :D
  • Apr 8, 2009, 12:27 PM
    mudweiser
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by albear View Post
    pick me! pick me! :D

    And so it begins...
    http://www.storytellers.net/images/handraised_png.png


    MRS.S
  • Apr 8, 2009, 12:34 PM
    liz28
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by excon View Post
    Hello liz:

    Can you guess what ROTFLMFAO is?

    excon

    Can't get what ROTF means.However I think LMFAO means laughing my fu*+k*** a$$ off.Thanks guys for meaning of lmao, been trying figure that out for months. I give Duh comes to mind.
  • Apr 8, 2009, 01:15 PM
    twinkiedooter

    ROTF means rolling on the floor.

    That's what I'm doing with those 2 jokes. They are funny for sure!
  • Apr 8, 2009, 03:23 PM
    nitelight198073

    OMG that is hilarious
  • Apr 8, 2009, 11:23 PM
    friend4u178
    1 Attachment(s)
    Attachment 18419
  • Apr 9, 2009, 10:49 AM
    liz28

    I think you have pictures for all occasions. If only computers can talk- I wonder what yours would say?

    Here goes another nun joke:

    A cop pulls over a car load of nuns. The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55." The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!" The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful." At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible." The Sister answers, "Oh, we just got off Highway 101."
  • Apr 17, 2009, 01:11 PM
    liz28

    Fighting Nuns

    One day there were four nuns in line for confessional.

    The first nun said, "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."

    He asked how.

    She said "I saw a man's private part." He told her to wash her eyes with holy water.

    The second nun comes in and says, "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."

    He asked how.

    "I touched a man's private parts." He told her to wash her hands in holy water.

    Then he heard the third and fourth nun fighting. He asked why they were fighting.

    The fourth nun said, "I'm not going to wash my mouth in the holy water if she is going to sit in it."
  • Apr 17, 2009, 01:20 PM
    mudweiser

    That was moderately funny.

    Sarah

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