My son's father currently has custody of our 5 year old after I raised him for 4 years and his father was not part of his life. We were never married. Now his father is taking me to court to change my son's last name from mine to his. I am going back to custody court in the fall to regain custody since there was a mistake made at the first trial and the father was awarded custody. Can my son's father win this suit in court and change my son's last name, even though I contest it? My son is in school now and has always known and is writing his current last name. Is it possible to be forced to change my son's last name? I live in Pennsylvania. Thank you for your help!

First this is a LEGAL question and will be moved to the Family Law forum.

Second, without knowing what caused the change in custody its hard to say what the results will be. Certainly its rather unusual for a mother to lose custody after 4 years to a father who hasn't been a part of the child's life.

But, IF he maintains custody, there is a strong possibility the name change will be allowed.

Sorry about being in the wrong "area", I'm new.

As for why my son's father was given custody, it's because I'm gay and married to a woman - have been married for almost 5 years - father just married 2 months ago - and the small courts in back-woods PA are discriminating against me. Father knew I was gay when he impregnated me and didn't care - didn't care about me or that he had a son - in fact, father was married at the time and cheated with me and didn't tell his parents he had a son until I threatened to tell them 2 months after he was born. Father only wants custody for personal and financial reasons - to claim my son on his tax returns and to try for child support since he is not working - and now is seeking to change my son's name to his last name for purely self-serving reasons. This in no way, will benefit our son - in fact, it will cause more tension between all of us at visitation.

But thank you for your answer.

Frankly you are behind the 8-ball here. I hope you have a good attorney. You are operating in a climate that may be anti-gay. I don't know the laws in PA about same sex marriage or about same sex couples having a child. You need to know those laws thoroughly or have an attorney who does.

I know you feel that the father wants custody for convenience rather than concern for the child, but being newly married, his wife may have spurred him and the courts might believe that he truly wants to be a father now that he's "settled down".

I'm basically playing devil's advocate here showing you how the courts might view the situation. And having 2 woman raise a boy is going to go against the bias of some judges.

I tend to doubt if this will be settled in a small town court. So you may need to be prepared to take it higher courts in your state.