Basically I've known her for about 4 years and after a couple years of knowing her she moved to another state for college. While in that state she started dating this guy but about a year ago she moved back to home while her boyfriend is still in the state she went to college in. After that I had to move to another state due to my job but we have kept in contact ever since. She never speaks of her boyfriend and I had no idea that she was dating someone until I saw "in a relationship" as her status on myspace. She's always talking about how she misses me and can't wait until we hang out again. Last time I came home we spent entire days together... just us nobody else. The whole time she would be hugging me, bumping into my constantly, smiling at me and trying to hold my hand and all that fun stuff. Also her boyfriend decided he wanted to meet me and added me as a friend online and always tries to be buddy buddy with me and stuff. When I asked him why he's doing that he says its because she always talks about me and how she says I'm an awesome guy and all this stuff. Hes also hell bent on meeting me which I find creepy but whatever. One time when he was talking to me on time he was talking about how she was mad at him because he smothers her and all this stuff and they had been fighting a lot lately. Im just curious if next time I go home I should tell her how I feel or if I should just leave this whole situation alone and hope there's someone else out there...

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Originally Posted by dasefx

After that I had to move to another state due to my job but we have kept in contact ever since. She never speaks of her boyfriend and I had no idea that she was dating someone until I saw "in a relationship" as her status on myspace.

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Perhaps she wanted to appear single for you until you made your move, or she held off telling you because she does like you- who knows why she did it.

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She's always talking about how she misses me and can't wait until we hang out again. Last time I came home we spent entire days together... just us nobody else. The whole time she would be hugging me, bumping into my constantly, smiling at me and trying to hold my hand and all that fun stuff.

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It's very obvious she was flirting with you and wants more than friendship. However, she does have a boyfriend- and clearly has no respect for him.

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Also her boyfriend decided he wanted to meet me and added me as a friend online and always tries to be buddy buddy with me and stuff. When I asked him why he's doing that he says its because she always talks about me and how she says I'm an awesome guy and all this stuff. Hes also hell bent on meeting me which I find creepy but whatever.

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It's a little weird but he may feel a little competition. The saying "keep your friends but your enemies closer" applies here.

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Im just curious if next time I go home I should tell her how I feel or if I should just leave this whole situation alone and hope there's someone else out there

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No. She is in a relationship with someone else. If you were her current boyfriend I am positive you wouldn't like her behavior let alone the other guy condoning it.

In my opinion; she doesn't sound very trustworthy, she seems immature and may even make impulse decisions. It would be best to keep her as a friend and find yourself a more honest girl.

MRS.S

You must confront this woman and tell her that you love her. She will most likely dump her boyfriend and get with you. This always works for me. Best of luck

Sounds like she's been cheating on her boyfriend. How do you think her boyfriend would feel if he knew that she was hugging you and trying to hold your hand? Even if you don't consider this physically cheating, I'm sure she has been emotionally cheating. If she was with you, how do you know she won't do this behind your back as well?

The guy probably wants to meet you because he sees you as a threat. So he wants to know his enemy type thing.

If you really like her that much, I would say stay away from her until she actually breaks up with her boyfriend and give her time recover. You don't want to be the guy that she cheats with. And you definitely don't want to be her rebound.

If you can't handle staying away from her. Then tell her how you feel and then back away. That way, the ball is on her court and she will have to make the next move.

Either way, you got to stay away from her.

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I should just leave this whole situation alone and hope there's someone else out there...

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Yes,find someone who is not taken and will not complicate your life.
She is sending some mixed messages for sure but she is still not available.

Your getting played.

She has a boyfriend. She is off limits.

Check out my signature quote in purple.

Don't play the game.

HChick said it best: She is not available.

I'm going to take a slightly different route on the issue of the boyfriend though...

There's a chance that she really does talk about you to him (because you're a close friend) and maybe he's genuinely interested in getting to know someone who is obviously important to his lady. Perhaps he's secure in the relationship and would like to build a friendship with you as well. He could have honest intentions. After all he doesn't know about your feelings for her and may have no reason to think she's flirting with you on the sly.

She may just be a flirtatious person. I know plenty of people like this that would, regardless of their flirty behavior, never consider actually cheating on their significant other. I just wouldn't read into it too much or act on it.

So back to my first line, she's not available for you to pursue her, so if she is cheating or crossing lines, then that's his problem to deal with. Don't get involved.

Look... at this stage in your life telling someone how you feel just means you learn the truth (hopefully)...

In my opinion, be willing to risk a lot and crash and burn a lot.

Seriously.

You like a girl and she might not like you back, or she might like the attention but not like you back enough, or she might like you back enough to tell her boyfriend to screw off...

Really...

All I ever wanted to do was live in reality.

And sometimes that meant falling on my face.

One of the best relationships I ever had started just like that.

Took a leap of faith. Told her I was completely into her. She pushed back and said she couldn't.

A month later, suddenly, she could.

It was a helluva couple of years together.

So... stop being so damn afraid of stating the truth. You can say how you feel AND at the same time not be a wuss.

You like her. FINE!

She seems to like you, maybe. OK!

Tell her you think her boyfriend isn't right and you think you are and if she's interested she should chase you down.

Seriously... I'm not into mind games, but this girl is on the fence. Probably not ready to be in any long term relationship (with you or with her bf) but also curious enough to push the edges.

So... you can be her girlfriend (kind of what you are now) or you can be her boyfriend or you can just be a friend.

If what she says means anything, don't expect her to be at your beck and call.

If her current boyfriend is smothering her... then either he is over the top or she's just not willing to give up most of her time to some guy... which isn't the worst thing to say.

Personally... I think too many young people dump their "real" lives for a flame... and it makes no sense.

A woman is interested in you because you are interesting. You have a life. Friends. Interests. You are unknown but familiar enough to chase.

So... its up to you.

She has an interest in your attention. Whether that's lasting or not I cannot tell you.

More than once I've taken a risk and found out the girl wasn't interested.

Fine.

So move on. You know reality. You took a shot.

Id much rather say I tried than to wonder "what if i had tried"...