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-   -   How do I know if the baby is mine (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=338850)

  • Apr 7, 2009, 08:49 AM
    wase
    How do I know if the baby is mine
    I was in a relationship for approx 3 months, which unfortunately ended 25/12/08. I have just found out that my ex-girlfriend is now pregnant. We have talked about how far she thinks she is gone and she seems to think the baby isn't mine as she had a period after the last time we slept together ( she did get with a new partner around a week after we split up) and she hasn't had a period since, however her first scan has shown the baby was conceived while we were together. So my question is 1. can you have a period after falling pregnant?
    2. is there anyway off findind out if I am the father before the baby is born?

    Please help
  • Apr 7, 2009, 08:51 AM
    mudweiser
    To answer question number 2:

    Pregnant women wishing to establish the paternity of their unborn child have the option of DNA testing during pregnancy.

    This might be done for several reasons. In some cases the woman has had multiple partners and simply does not know which is the father. Or she might know, but needs proof for a paternity suit.

    Such tests have normally been carried out after the birth of the baby. It is then relatively simple, and in fact there are "home" tests available (although it is still necessary to send samples to a laboratory for testing).

    An excellent source of information on DNA testing during pregnancy is the American Pregnancy Association website. It advises that there are two methods of arranging pre-natal tests:




    * Amniocentesis: This test is performed in the second trimester, anywhere from the 14th-20th weeks of pregnancy. During this procedure, the doctor uses ultrasound to guide a thin needle into your uterus, through your abdomen. The needle draws out a small amount of amniotic fluid, which is tested. Risks include a small chance of harming the baby and miscarriage. Other side effects may include cramping, leaking amniotic fluid, and vaginal bleeding. A doctor's consent is needed to do this procedure for paternity testing.

    * Chorionic Villus Sampling (CVS): This test consists of a thin needle or tube which a doctor inserts from the vagina, through the cervix, guided by an ultrasound, to obtain chorionic villi. Chorionic villi are little finger like pieces of tissue attached to the wall of the uterus. The chorionic villi and the fetus come from the same fertilized egg, and have the same genetic makeup. This testing can be done earlier in pregnancy from the 10th-13th weeks. A doctor's consent is needed to do this procedure for paternity testing.

    And it issues an important warning:

    Prenatal DNA testing done in conjunction with other prenatal testing involves some risk associated with how the testing is conducted, whether amniocentesis or CVS. These tests are often discouraged for the sole reason of seeking paternity because of the increased miscarriage risk.

    For those desiring more practical information about how to go ahead with arranging DNA testing during pregnancy, there are several commercial organizations that offer more detail.

    The GeneTree DNA Testing Laboratory has several pages on pre-natal DNA testing. The DNA Diagnostics Center also has information. Both companies offer to help find appropriate doctors.

    For those preferring to wait until after the baby is born, Amazon.com offers "home" paternity tests (although specimens must still be sent to a laboratory.

    Taken from: DNA Testing During Pregnancy - what you need to know

    MRS.S
  • Apr 7, 2009, 09:00 AM
    artlady

    Yes,you can have a period after conception but it is usually the first month and the period is not always normal.The flow is somewhat less and the color may be off as well.Brown as opposed to red.
  • Apr 7, 2009, 09:04 AM
    wase
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by artlady View Post
    Yes,you can have a period after conception but it is usually the first month and the period is not always normal.The flow is somewhat less and the color may be off as well.Brown as opposed to red.
    Hi artlady,

    My ex-girlfriend did say the period she had straight after we split was normal but the one she had while with her new partner was the same as you have described above, what do you think?
  • Apr 7, 2009, 09:28 AM
    liz28

    No what can really give you a direct answer and I believe that is what your looking for. It will just be an guessing game.

    If you had sex with her then there could be a possible that the baby might be yours because sex= babies. Condoms and birth control method doesn't 100% prevent pregnacies.

    Now your going to have to play the waiting game and once the baby is born establish paternity by getting a DNA test done. Regardless on what the outcome is, I think this should be an eye opener for you.
  • Apr 7, 2009, 09:33 AM
    artlady
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by wase View Post
    Hi artlady,

    My ex-girlfriend did say the period she had straight after we split was normal but the one she had while with her new partner was the same as you have discribed above, what do you think?
    I will refer you to Liz's answer above mine.It is all just speculation and there is nothing you can do until after the baby is born.Guessing is not the way to go.
  • Apr 7, 2009, 09:36 AM
    liz28

    Mudweiser posted some good information but I must advised you not to ever do a home dna test. These tests holds no weight in court.

    Most doctors won't preform an Amniocentesis on a pregnant mother because of the risks to the unborn child. They definitely won't perform would just to establish paternity and if that is what the test is wanted for they would make you weight until the child is born.
  • Apr 7, 2009, 09:48 AM
    wase
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by liz28 View Post
    Mudweiser posted some good information but I must advised you not to ever do a home dna test. These tests holds no weight in court.

    Most doctors won't preform an Amniocentesis on a pregnant mother because of the risks to the unborn child. They definitely won't perform would just to establish paternity and if that is what the test is wanted for they would make you weight until the child is born.
    Thank you ladies for your advice, it is very much appriciated.

    My next question would be how do I cope with this, I'm sure I will find a way.

    As the saying goes it could be worse,

    Thanks again
  • Apr 7, 2009, 12:05 PM
    DoulaLC
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by wase View Post
    I was in a relationship for approx 3 months, which unfortunatley ended 25/12/08. i have just found out that my ex-girlfriend is now pregnant. we have talked about how far she thinks she is gone and she seems to think the baby isnt mine as she had a period after the last time we slept together ( she did get with a new partner around a week after we split up) and she hasnt had a period since, however her first scan has shown the baby was conceived while we were together. so my question is 1. can you have a period after falling pregnant?
    2. is there anyway off findind out if i am the father before the baby is born?

    please help
    Scans are not 100% for dating a pregnancy so there still would be some question as to whose baby it is. A one week's time is too close to call if she doesn't know when she mostly likely ovulated. Since she had a "normal" period after you last slept together, but did not after she was with the other man, that increases the possibility the baby is not your's. She wouldn't have an actual period if pregnant, but some spotting or bleeding can be normal, in early pregnancy especially.
    As was said, the only way you will know for sure is to have some testing done once the baby is born.
    How do you cope? Hopefully you are on good terms with her because if the baby is your's, that will make things so much more pleasant for everyone involved. It can be an absolute nightmare if the two people don't get along and a child is now needing to be raised and cared for. Let her know that if the baby is your's you will step up and help to support the baby. There's not much else you can do at this point.
  • Apr 7, 2009, 12:17 PM
    J_9
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by mudweiser View Post
    * Amniocentesis: This test is performed in the second trimester, anywhere from the 14th-20th weeks of pregnancy. During this procedure, the doctor uses ultrasound to guide a thin needle into your uterus, through your abdomen. The needle draws out a small amount of amniotic fluid, which is tested. Risks include a small chance of harming the baby and miscarriage. Other side effects may include cramping, leaking amniotic fluid, and vaginal bleeding. A doctor's consent is needed to do this procedure for paternity testing.
    I would also like to point out that the great majority of doctors will not do an amniocentesis for paternity testing due to the risks to the mother and fetus.

    Amniocentesis is done for genetic abnormality testing rather than paternity.
  • Apr 8, 2009, 10:30 AM
    babieface85

    When did she get the scan? They can be way off. I had a scan a few weeks ago that said I was 15 weeks and five days (I was only 14weeks) I had one Monday and it also said I was 15 weeks 5 days. See what it mean... One day the scan thought I was more pregnant than I was and one day it thought I was a little less pregnant than I was.

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