I used to play this game online and it heavilly involves the play with other people... I was good friends with this person for awhile because we were just very, very good pals, unexpectedly it grew to more than just that... we finally exchanged pictures--were attracted to each other and started emailing/talking online/talking on the phone endless nights, and we would have long good lengthy conversations that lasted from like 11 pm to 6 in the morning... the only problem was I live in America and he lives in Australia... so in the back of my mind, I knew this wouldn't work out considering he lives on the other side of the world and knowing that with past experiences long distance relationships don't work... but considering the fact that he said he'd come here--showed a great deal of effort into making it more than just online!

Anyway, it finally came to the point where we met each other... We wined and dined, he paid for almost everything... even when I insisted to pay for half and other occasions... he was very generous and we enjoyed each others company... I took him to see some beautiful landmarks... and we had a lot of fun... I would say would be very memorable...

But it too was also different... the things he said were not the same as he said on the phone... like on the phone he said I'm different from other girls, because he didn't take other girls seriously, he knows what he wants in life, he sees himself to his bro who is now married and comes home to a family with a wife and children...

In person he tells me he's only known me for a few days, he says we should take things as they go, he doesn't know, and that he has to think about things and will think more when you know when until it's gone...

The last day that I dropped him off at the airport he tells me that he's depressed about leaving, and would want me to send him the pics that I took of us, and asked me what my favorite day was that we spent.. and tells me that he feels like he's known me for a long time...

So we kiss and hug and he tells me he'll be back the week after Christmas...

So when he arrives back to Australia, he texts me a couples times that he's back home, and that he has to work right after... So 5-6 days pass and I text him and he texts me back that he just got back from work and says he'll *try* to make it online for us to talk...

Days turn into weeks and I text him while he hardly promptly replies to me anymore... but I get a call from him asking me if he lent me 7000 dollars... and In confusion and startled... I tell him that's not true and ask him what's going on and he hasn't called me for 2 weeks... and tells me he's been in trouble with the police and that they want to know why he has spent so much money and where he got the money from... (which makes no sense because the police just can't do that to you!) so... I ask him questions about the situation of he's OK and all and then he tells me that I'm asking too many questions... so he says he'll call me later and I say OK...

Since then... I worried and asked his bro to tell him to message me how things are and then... then assuming his bro told him what I said, he messages me saying the whole police thing was a joke...

The whole thing is a joke, dont worry about it. They came over wanting to
question me about someone, i wasnt home.. they went and searched my room.
took my watch and some money

So I text him back and ask him if we're ever going to talk again...

So today with no reply... I email him:

Hey I just sent you a text...anyway, thought I had a right to worry about you, but ehh...ok nevermind then-- anyway, um we haven't talked for awhile, and honestly it hurts...and you're giving me the impression like you seem whatever and don't care about it...seriously--if you don't see me like that anymore just say so...because it is kind of hard to believe that the police was a joke for a reason being that you haven't talked/called me for two weeks...plus you don't even promptly respond when i message you...and so why is it different now--anyway...i hope you do something about it, if you want to change my mind...otherwise, since you hardly make the effort to talk to me unlike as before, we're probably not gonna talk... and talk less and less... so good luck with the military and the future...


So was I just being used because he's never been to America before? Or is he just not that interested in me? Because it's kind of hard to believe this happened when everything was going really great... do you guys seem like he's just confused? He's said he's been with like 50 something women... mentions often that women he's been with has slept with other guys... and has asked me who's fault would it be? Tells me, "why do you think I've been single for such a long time?"

... I know some questions are left to be unanswered but like sometimes it's annoying to know there is a void with this...

I am really sorry to say this honey, but from here it sounds like something changed and he's no longer interested. I can't tell you what his motivation was at the time, but it sounds like now he's not interested.

I really would try to forget about him, the police line was just preposterous, and do not give him the satisfaction of ever contacting him again, nothing does more for a guys ego than knowing there is someone he can string along who is waiting for him.

You sound like a lovely and giving person, and I bet you are beautiful too, both inside and out, so save your energies for a guy who appreciates just how great you are.

Hate to be the bearer of bad news, I hope this helps you because not knowing hurts more, and you will find someone else so wonderful that it will make you wonder what you were thinking wasting your time with that guy.

I don't mean to shock you with this but I suspect your friend of being a con artist. Here are the earmarks: He worked in a very isolated environment with you, he is in trouble with the police about money, he plays the victim card in all circumstances, he has been with 50+ women, and at the first sign of closer scruitiny, he deliberately confuses and evades. Then there is your own intuition saying he didn't add up right too.

If this is true, you narrowly escaped with only providing him a bed and breakfast for his US vacation. I would check your bank accounts to be sure.

And be much more discerning with people -- check out who they say they are from independent sources.

I will agree with Val, there are 1000's of con men on the Net that try and prey on women. They find out about each and work on the buttoms that make each respond.

Some do it merely to attempt to score new sexual conquest and if they don't get sex with girl on the first trip often they never get back to her or drop her soon. Others will spend some money trying to get more from the lady down the road.

And of course are you sure where he lives , do you have a physcial address where you send letters and the such. When you talk on the phone is it to a overseas number ?

But if so, as Val says often they try to see and remember your credit card numbers, or get a copy of a check, so they can do electronic withdraws form your bank accounts.

This is sadly what happens, and I am afraid this is what it souinds like,

True I hadn't even thought of that! Its so scary what people will do to one another now-a-days.

Yeah, I read for advice all over the internet and have read books that he's just not that interested in me anymore... I mean even before we met in person he called me from work because he "missed me" so yeah... he doesn't do that anymore when he still works even after we met...

he didn't really work with me in an isloated environment, but I guess you can say that we spent a lot of time alone together considering it was in a hotel... but we still went out places to have fun and all... but the situation was kind of hard considering the fact that *i thought* we were an item...

About the police thing, I really do think it's just an excuse... the police can't just take your stuff and everything, wouldn't they need a warrant? But in his case saying that he couldn't call me for 2 weeks because of the police can't back up why he couldn't call me if he called me once already about that 7000 dollars...

I think there was a lot of excuses as well... I mean, I think this guy just straight up lied to my face, like he said "Austrailian girlfriends and boyfriends don't hold hands, it's their culture and only married couples do it"... but um hello? --I do have some Australian friends that I just casually talk to and keep in touch, I ask them if that's true and they say it's not! Plus he wouldn't even tell me where or what he does for his job, but he does tell me that he works long days/night even weeks--that he's a work-a-holic and travels a lot from like sydney/melbourne/brisbane, etc and says that he earns like "25k a day" is that like 25,000? Someone who makes that much money can play with money like it's nothing to be honest...

Yes I always check my bank account, and I'm okay so far... I don't work and my parents give me allowance so it's not much of a big deal because he makes bank loads of money... keep in mind this guy isn't that old compared to me, he's like 3 years older than I am, I even seen his passport and license...

It may have been to be a sexual conquest, probably... but in our generation people don't really take sex that seriously even though we should... but you can/can't have sex with people to determine love... meaning that there isn't a specific time frame that you should wait because I've heard a lot of stories where people actually have gone out for a long time having had sex shortly or soon after... because in the end, it really matters how good you are for each other... plus, I still am optimistic that there could possibly be a chance that even from now till the next time *if* he ever calls me, he might go through some life experiences that might make him realize that I am a good person... you never know... but he should eventually because it's a given, because I know I am... but I'm not going to wait around, life moves on! --besides it would be his problem and his loss.. =) plus I have some interesting ventures and projects I'd like to initiate later in the year and start next year that I'm passionate about... I mean it's really about building your own strength... =D

I know where he lives, I mean he's shown me a pictures of his family, house, everything... He's even trusted to give me his password with his gaming account... where it lists every personal information... When I do talk to him it is yes obviously overseas... when we talked to each other we did have to dial an international number... but good thing I didn't call him and he called me, hahah... he spent $1600 talking to me =P... I still got charged 200 for incoming international calls because I didn't know they charge for incoming still! =O

Well he hates lawyers and says that in Australia they don't really go to court and sue... but whatever if he stalks me or hurts me or anything like that I would press charges and stuff...

but like I'm not too worried as much anymore, but I do need to be more careful... especially for my health.. . I also am a strong believer of karma... everytime something bad happened to me from someone else... it always boomeranged back to them... I don't have any guilt because I know deep in my heart I was good to him and I even bought a birthday card to give to his brother when we went back home... there were also some things that he has told me like things that I guess you can say he confided in me... like personal family issues, relationship problems... etc... but there's a fine line between confiding in someone and telling someone as it is as a romantic interest...

but anyway, the week we spent together was very fun and memorable but also dissappointing...

I'm a little confused about your situation. How do you know his brother and how are you able to communicate to him through his brother - like messages and cards? Is his brother in the states?
And when he mentioned the 7000$, did he ask you if he lent you all that money or did he say he did lend you the money? And did he give you a reason as to why he would not tell you where he worked or how he made all his bookoos of money? Wouldn't his brother know? I also find it hard to believe that he flew half way around the globe to seem different and uninterested in person. You also mentioned the military - what's the story behind that? All very strange... At this point, I don't even think you should believe the things you feel he was being truthful about. Please be careful about the guys you meet online - don't trust any of them. It's too dangerous. What ever his intentions were - I don't believe he got them, so he moved on. I also don't believe he flew from Australia to the US for a little booty - especially if he's getting 50+ there. He's not trustworthy...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Starlina

I used to play this game online and it heavilly involves the play with other people...I was good friends with this person for awhile because we were just very, very good pals, unexpectedly it grew to more than just that...we finally exchanged pictures--were attracted to each other and started emailing/talking online/talking on the phone endless nights, and we would have long good lengthy conversations that lasted from like 11 pm to 6 in the morning...the only problem was I live in America and he lives in Austrailia...so in the back of my mind, I knew this wouldn't work out considering he lives on the other side of the world and knowing that with past experiences long distance relationships don't work...but considering the fact that he said he'd come here--showed a great deal of effort into making it more than just online!

Anyway, it finally came to the point where we met each other...We wined and dined, he paid for almost everything...even when I insisted to pay for half and other occasions...he was very generous and we enjoyed each others company...I took him to see some beautiful landmarks...and we had a lot of fun...I would say would be very memorable...

But it too was also different...the things he said were not the same as he said on the phone...like on the phone he said i'm different from other girls, because he didn't take other girls seriously, he knows what he wants in life, he sees himself to his bro who is now married and comes home to a family with a wife and children....

In person he tells me he's only known me for a few days, he says we should take things as they go, he doesn't know, and that he has to think about things and will think more when you know when until it's gone...

The last day that I dropped him off at the airport he tells me that he's depressed about leaving, and would want me to send him the pics that i took of us, and asked me what my favorite day was that we spent..and tells me that he feels like he's known me for a long time...

So we kiss and hug and he tells me he'll be back the week after Christmas...

So when he arrives back to Austrailia, he texts me a couples times that he's back home, and that he has to work right after...So 5-6 days pass and I text him and he texts me back that he just got back from work and says he'll *try* to make it online for us to talk.....

Days turn into weeks and I text him while he hardly promptly replies to me anymore...but I get a call from him asking me if he lent me 7000 dollars...and In confusion and startled...I tell him that's not true and ask him whats going on and he hasn't called me for 2 weeks....and tells me he's been in trouble with the police and that they want to know why he has spent so much money and where he got the money from....(which makes no sense because the police just can't do that to you!) so...i ask him questions about the situation of he's ok and all and then he tells me that i'm asking too many questions...so he says he'll call me later and i say ok....

since then....i worried and asked his bro to tell him to message me how things are and then...then assuming his bro told him what i said, he messages me saying the whole police thing was a joke...

The whole thing is a joke, dont worry about it. They came over wanting to
question me about someone, i wasnt home.. they went and searched my room.
took my watch and some money

so i text him back and ask him if we're ever gonna talk again...

So today with no reply....I email him:

Hey I just sent you a text...anyway, thought I had a right to worry about you, but ehh...ok nevermind then-- anyway, um we haven't talked for awhile, and honestly it hurts...and you're giving me the impression like you seem whatever and don't care about it...seriously--if you don't see me like that anymore just say so...because it is kind of hard to believe that the police was a joke for a reason being that you haven't talked/called me for two weeks...plus you don't even promptly respond when i message you...and so why is it different now--anyway...i hope you do something about it, if you want to change my mind...otherwise, since you hardly make the effort to talk to me unlike as before, we're probably not gonna talk... and talk less and less... so good luck with the military and the future...


So was I just being used because he's never been to America before? Or is he just not that interested in me? Because it's kinda hard to believe this happened when everything was going really great....do you guys seem like he's just confused? He's said he's been with like 50 something women...mentions often that women he's been with has slept with other guys...and has asked me who's fault would it be? Tells me, "why do you think I've been single for such a long time?"

...I know some questions are left to be unanswered but like sometimes it's annoying to know there is a void with this...

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Some things are never answered but that is not important ,what is, is how you feel about you, you take care of you the best you know how and leave the rest to god or whoever you believe in.