My girlfriend and just started having sex around 2 months ago but it has been amazing. It was her first time and mine (technically, if u don't count a 15 second with an old ex). I always worried that sex would be plagued with my inability to last long because my first time was so short. But I have lasted hours with my girlfriend and not even been close to . So for a while I was very pleased with our sex, and for that matter myself.

However over the past couple of weeks I have found myself losing my erection before we are about to have sex and during intercourse itself. The first time it happened I was wearing a regular magnum condom and I had lube on and I just felt like there was no resistance. So I scrapped the condom and lube and things worked better for a while. Then it happened again. So I tried "horny goat" (first time ever) one night after a week of really good sex mixed with embarrassing flaccidity's and not so throbbing erections. It worked AMAZING. My penis was so stiff I could beat someone with it. But I didn't want to be dependent on a pill for something I was able to do very well two weeks earlier. So last weekend while suffering from the flu, chills, fever, muscle fatigue (normal sickness I get once a year). I ed my girlfriend twice and it was great. I was hard as a rock. I even looked at the "horny goat" package and realized that the pill said it would take about an hour to go into effect. Meaning the rock hard erection and two hour sex-capade from days back I thought came from the pill, came completely from me.

So again I was feeling great about myself and my partners self proclaimed amazing sex life... untill last night. Things started good. At around 7 we had what she described as her "best orgasm ever" and I felt it, it was a full bodied one that had never been quite as strong (she is probably hornier since she is on her period... yeah we couldn't wait). So I was yet again happy with my job. But later in the night we had a fight and we almost broke up. Your thinking now... here comes the make up sex. But I was hesitant to have sex because I was still worried about the erection problem. I kept thinking about how to avoid sex until I eventually tried because I knew how much she wanted it but I lost my erection before we could have sex. I went to grab "horny goat" (second time in my life) I have stashed in my cabinet (hidden from her) but knowing it either A. doesn't work, or B. It takes an hour, in the immediate it didn't help and I went soft after 5 minutes of having sex with her. I blamed not being able to get an erection on a horrible stomach ache that came from our argument.

I know this sounds terrible, is this all mental? Physically I have felt a little weaker lately cause I haven't been working out much and I got sick but I am not in bad shape, if anything I am way to skinny. If this is mental how do I stop it? I am only 19 and used to look forward to sex (literally 3 weeks ago), but now before we have sex I am filled with the worry that I am going to go soft and have no excuse for it. I also know that without good sex a relationship will probably not last and I am worried that if I don't satisfy her we will not last. I am thinking about this constantly and desperately need some answers.

Just to wrap up (as if I didn't write enough) another problem I have had is that while our sex is intense, when I wear a condom (even magnum thins) I still don't feel very much and when I don't put a condom on my penis hurts because I am uncircumcised and it rips the foreskin back on my firmly erect penis. Don't know if this is relevant just thought I'd mention it because it annoys me.

There are a couple of things you may want to investigate here...

If using condoms is painful because you're not circumcisized, you may want to consider having this done. Many adult men choose to for comfort. You definitely don't want to stop using condoms all together.

Usually. When a man starts to have this problem of not being able to achieve or keep an erection, that problem then makes it even more difficult to solve-- it becomes an endless cycle.

You are correct that you don't want to be dependent on drugs to correct this, especially since you are young. If you truly do feel there is a medical issue here, however, please see a Urologist to make sure everything is working properly.

Chances are, there isn't a medical issue at all, however. You need to relax and stop forcing things to try and work. Allow your partner to massage you and stimulate you WITHOUT having sex of any kind several times over the course of many days. Allow yourself to become stimulated without worrying about keeping the erection or doing anything with it. Allow it to go away and come back again.

After several days like this, have your partner stimulate you then begin sex, but don't worry about "completing" things. If you lose the erection, start back at square one. Be willing to approach this calmly and take your time. It will all come back to you once you're relieved of the stress of trying too hard.