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-   -   Sex after childbirth (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=338225)

  • Apr 5, 2009, 03:58 PM
    Tony J
    Sex after childbirth
    My wife had our child 3 and 1/2 weeks ago by C-section. She is healing fast compared to others we know who have had kids through the same procedure. How realistic is it for me to believe that she is ready for sex closer to 4 weeks than 6? We go back to the OB/GYN soon and we are both hoping that the doctor says we are OK to have sex again. Any comments?
  • Apr 5, 2009, 04:02 PM
    J_9
    You need to wait the entire 6 weeks. This is her healing time and you don't want to slow that process down.
  • Apr 5, 2009, 04:13 PM
    liz28

    I agree, the two of you should wait regardless of her progess. I am glad to hear she is doing well and congrats on your little bundle of joy.
  • Apr 5, 2009, 04:15 PM
    nikosmom

    You must wait the 6 weeks regardless just to be sure. A c-section is considered major abdominal surgery so she still needs to recover fully. Better to wait than to cause problems and have to prolong sex even longer.
  • Apr 5, 2009, 04:49 PM
    Tony J
    Did any of you actually read my post! If the MD says we have the green light, we will go for it. My question was, since her recovery has been quicker than usual, would it be likely to be closer to 4 weeks than 6? We will follow the doctors directions.
  • Apr 5, 2009, 04:55 PM
    nikosmom
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Tony J View Post
    Did any of you actually read my post!? If the MD says we have the green light, we will go for it. My question was, since her recovery has been quicker than usual, would it be likely to be closer to 4 weeks than 6? We will follow the doctors directions.

    Yes, it seems we all read your post (the snide attitude was unnecessary)...
    It is unlikely that her Dr. will give the green light to have sex before 6 weeks.

    I had a C-section and healed "quicker than usual" and was still told to wait 6 weeks.
  • Apr 5, 2009, 05:07 PM
    liz28

    Who actually informed you her recovery was quickly than usual? Did you hear this from a doctor because you said other people inform you of this?

    Also, did you actually get a green light from a doctor or your just asking others for a green light?
  • Apr 5, 2009, 05:20 PM
    Tony J
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by liz28 View Post
    Who actually informed you her recovery was quickly than usual? Did you hear this from a doctor because you said other people inform you of this?

    Also, did you actually get a green light from a doctor or your just asking others for a green light?

    A friend that is a CNS told us she is healing extremely fast. Stopped bleeding, movement back to normal, no pain... she didn't look at her vagina. No, not yet with the green light. I will follow the direction of the doctor. I guess I should have asked if others have been back to normal quicker than 6 weeks. I was trying to gather a larger sample size than just my 10 or so friends that have children and have discused this isue with me.
  • Apr 5, 2009, 05:34 PM
    friend4u178

    For the sake of a couple of weeks why would you even compromise the safety of your wife?
  • Apr 5, 2009, 05:37 PM
    Alty

    The standard waiting time is 6 weeks, it's always six weeks, it doesn't change. Sadly, a lot of people don't listen and jump the gun at the risk of harming themselves.

    Go to your doctor, then, when he tells you wait the entire 6 weeks, find a way to deal with it.

    It's only 2 weeks longer that you have to wait in order to ensure your wife's health and safety.

    Also, cut out the attitude, we do this for free, we don't need it and we don't appreciate it.

    Good luck.
  • Apr 5, 2009, 05:40 PM
    starbuck8
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Tony J View Post
    Did any of you actually read my post!? If the MD says we have the green light, we will go for it. My question was, since her recovery has been quicker than usual, would it be likely to be closer to 4 weeks than 6? We will follow the doctors directions.

    The reddie that you gave was totally unnecessary, and very rude. You asked for "comments." You got them. It was pointed out by several people that the consensus was that you wait the full 6 weeks. One of these comments was made by a delivery room nurse, who has a lot of knowledge and experience with this, as it is her job, and she is actually answering your question from work! Of course you should have the advice of your Dr. but as Nikosmom had mentioned, she needs the full time to heal.
  • Apr 5, 2009, 05:46 PM
    Alty

    !
    Quote:

    Tony J disagrees: FAIL
    Tony, you've been here long enough to know the rules, and disagreeing with someone that is giving an opinion and not stating anything that's factually incorrect, is against the rules.

    I suggest you read them again.

    We have rules for a reason, they are not a suggestion, they are rules. If you refuse to follow them then you will no longer be allowed to participate on this site, and it's a great site.

    I suggest you apologize to everyone that you've insulted. We do this for free, we volunteer to help others, no one should have to put up with the stuff you're dishing out.

    One more chance, then, if you continue to give attitude, I'll be forced to report you.
  • Apr 5, 2009, 05:50 PM
    starbuck8

    Comments on this post
    Tony J disagrees: FAIL!

    Apparently you have yet to read the site rules! You agreed to this when you joined this site. You are breaking the rules, and I suggest you go and read them before you write anything else. You DO NOT give a "disagree" just to be nasty to someone! This is totally out of line, and I will also be forced to report you if you do not adhere to them.
  • Apr 5, 2009, 05:53 PM
    Tony J

    I'm not going to endanger my wife so stop thinking that. I realize that most of you that have a million posts on here deal with some uneducated people daily... I am not one of those people. I wanted first-hand experience advise, not to be judged. She wants to have sex too, but we won't until the MD says it's okay... how many times do I have to tell you all this? The same MD that said 4-6 weeks.
  • Apr 5, 2009, 05:56 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Tony J View Post
    I'm not going to endanger my wife so stop thinking that. I realize that most of you that have a million posts on here deal with some uneducated people daily....I am not one of those people. I wanted first-hand experience advise, not to be judged. She wants to have sex too, but we won't until the MD says it's okay.....how many times do I have to tell you all this? The same MD that said 4-6 weeks.

    Then why are you fighting with us and giving us attitude and revenge reddies?

    You got your answer, you got it from a registered nurse, you got it from women who have given birth and you got it from your doctor.

    So, there's nothing left to say.

    Good luck.
  • Apr 5, 2009, 06:00 PM
    starbuck8
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Tony J View Post
    I'm not going to endanger my wife so stop thinking that. I realize that most of you that have a million posts on here deal with some uneducated people daily....I am not one of those people. I wanted first-hand experience advise, not to be judged. She wants to have sex too, but we won't until the MD says it's okay.....how many times do I have to tell you all this? The same MD that said 4-6 weeks.

    Tony, this must have been in your mind, because I don't think anyone here insinuated that you were trying to harm your wife! You asked for comments from others! People, and I might add most of them are mothers, told you what they recommended. This is why they all said wait the full six weeks! Your wife needs that time to heal from major surgery. If your Dr. for whatever reason says it's fine, then I guess that will be your decision. Our point was to not cause further problems down the road, just to be able to have sex 2 weeks. Earlier. It's always good to aire on the side of caution with these things. There is a reason that 6 weeks is the normal time suggested.
  • Apr 5, 2009, 06:03 PM
    Synnen

    Thread closed. The OP can petition me by IM to have it re-opened.

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