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-   -   I'm scared (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=338075)

  • Apr 5, 2009, 08:20 AM
    Dannio8
    Im scared
    I have been enganged for two years and my sex drive is going, I love him but life seems too busy, financial stress, kids, work, I still love him and he still makes me feel good however I feel like there is no time and at night when everything is quiet around eleven or so, I am too tired and I have to wrk the next day? I know he loves me but I feel like he loves sex more, I also just found out I have cervical cancer on top of everything< does he not understand all this I have to go through? Please tell me I'm not crazy, that I'm normal, its not me
  • Apr 5, 2009, 08:22 AM
    Dannio8
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Dannio8 View Post
    I have been enganged for two years and my sex drive is going, i love him but life seems too busy, financial stress, kids, work, i still love him and he still makes me feel good however i feel like there is no time andd at night when everything is quiet around eleven or so, i am too tired and i have to wrk the next day? i know he loves me but i feel like he loves sex more, I also just found out i have cervical cancer on top of everything< does he not understand all this i have to go through? Please tell me im not crazy, that im normal, its not me
    He tells ne that's why we have been fighting and why he has been mean because I'm not taking care of things? He says that he needs it at least four to five times a week, I'm okay with twice a week, and then when he fights with me I don't want to do it at all?
  • Apr 5, 2009, 08:22 AM
    bronzebabe

    You ARE normal, and it's NOT just you...are you saying that he doesn't CARE that you have cancer? maybe he isn't "the one"...
  • Apr 5, 2009, 08:37 AM
    HelpinHere

    Any guy who is good for you will be able to take life at your pace, and you take life at his.

    I don't mean to sound too harsh, but it sounds like he just wants the sex.
    I say explain to him you are going through what you are going through, and you have to live your own life. If he can't handle that, to find someone who has nothing better to do than to please him.
    If he has any common sense, he will realize that he is pushing you too hard, and that he needs to back off and let you have your space.

    As far as the kids go, if they are his, try to get him focused on them, if he wants sex this much, he can't be focused on them as much as he should be.
  • Apr 5, 2009, 12:59 PM
    liz28

    Relationships are about compromise and it seems like your fiancé doesn't has that quality or he just doesn't care and only cares about his wants.

    You can have intimancy without sex. You seem to be going through a lot and your fiancé is acting blind toward that fact.

    Have you tried talking to him? If so, what does he say?
  • Apr 5, 2009, 05:11 PM
    Dannio8
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by liz28 View Post
    Relationships are about compromise and it seems like your fiance doesn't has that quality or he just doesn't care and only cares about his wants.

    You can have intimancy without sex. You seem to be going through alot and your fiance is acting blind toward that fact.

    Have you tried talking to him? If so, what does he say?
    Yes I have tried talking but he gets all the wrong things from the conversation? For instance, if I say I feel like you ar epushing me a lot and that all you care about is sex? He says "so what do you mean? do u mean that you dont like the sex when we do have it? lol im like where did that come out of my mouth? lol, but he does that kind of thing for every thing I say. I sent him an e-mail one time, a really long and well put e-mail. I was very clear on how i felt and in one part of it i put that If this keeps on then we will have to part ways and all he could say was "so you want to brek up now" for what? He never said anything about the other things like my feelings on things, we fight a lot about my son, he's five and my kids are not his, he is good to them but every thing my son does kev says Are you going to let him do that? What are you going to do? You better do something? My son is hard to deal with but I have to mediate between them all of the time, it sucks< he does have homework and dinner done when I get home and he helps a lot around the house, he definitely does his part I love him but I feel I'm not making him happy and its not about him its my own you know. Well thanks for the answer and letting me load off
  • Apr 5, 2009, 05:39 PM
    Tony J

    Sounds like her emotional needs are not being met and his sexual needs are not being met. Both are causes for conflict.

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