I'm in a situation where I'm torn between two men. Man #1 was my fiancée. He and I had dated for just over 1 year, got engaged, and then he got cold feet. (We are in our 40's so neither of us are young, so should have figured out what we want out of life by now, right?). He was married previous, but divorced now for 8 years. I've never been married. After getting engaged we purchased a home together, but when we took possession of the home, he decided he didn't want me to move in. He said he needed a break and that he didn't like my career. (I'm self employed in a non-traditional type of work for a woman). Luckily, I own another home of my own and live in that house - even now. I was completely devastated and confused by his behavior. I was very much in love with him (and still in love with him) and very much wanting to make a life with him. I couldn't understand why he wouldn't want to start our life given that it was him who proposed to me - something I had not expected nor pushed for. (It was a complete surprise when he showed up with a diamond ring and proposed!) Given all this, we broke up in the fall of this past year and were apart for about 3 months.
During that time I met man #2 as our work caused us to cross paths. We started dating, and I really enjoyed his company. He works in various locations and I honestly thought that when the job he was working on in my area ended and he went to another jobsite 4 hours away, he would just fade away. He hasn't. He kept in contact with me by telephone the whole time while away on the other jobsite. And now he is back on a jobsite in my area. He arrived back mid-february.
The problem is this... Man #1 has had a change of heart, realized what he was losing by losing me and now wants me to move in and make the life we had planned prior to all this craziness out of him. That all sounds good to me, but I'm feeling very uncertain given his behavior last fall. Also, my feelings were completely crushed and there's something in me that is reluctant to jump right back in again. Man #2 wants a relationship with me too, however, with his erratic work locations and schedule, I'm not sure that we would be able to have enough of a relationship to keep me happy. It's great while Man #2 is working in my area, but this job, too, will finish and he'll be off somewhere else with no certainty as to whether he'd be back again. Man #2 lives 3 hours away.
Question... who should I work this out with? Right now I'm spending time with both of them and that is not fair and not right to either of them. Perhaps I should go in pursuit of Man #3 and forget these other two? Help!
