I am having a very hard time with my 3 year old daughter (will be 4 in june). She will not listen to me at all. When I ask her to not do something she will go and do it just to make me mad. I have tried to time out chair, that isn't working. When she does something she knows is wrong she will just say "Go put me on the naughty chair" So that is obviously not working. We tried taking toys away, she doesn't care. No matter what we have done she doesn't care. When she gets in trouble she will say "your stupid" after we have told her multipule times that is not nice to say and not to say it anymore. I am hoping this is just a stage that a lot of kids go through and she will grow out of it. But if its not I am wondering if she needs some kind of medical attention. Any help would be great! Thanks! :confused:

She is learning how to assert her newfound independence. You need to be consistent in your discipline.

I don't believe in spanking, but once in a while I have given my 4 children a little swat on the tush. It surprises them and lets them know who is in charge.

This is common at this age, again, you need to be consistent.

Have you tried a good/bad chart? Rewards are given for high numbers of smiley faces (good behaviors) and one smiley face is taken away with each sad face (bad behavior). You set your limit of smiley faces then take her out for ice cream or a special treat once she achieves the goal for the week.

Children will misbehave for attention and they do not care if it is negative attention or not.

When you put her in the naughty chair,she is to be ignored.No talking ,no interaction from you at all.

Using a egg timer is a good idea so she can see how long she has left to be in time out. She also will not keep asking when she can get out.

A child her age it should be 4 minutes.Show her how the timer works and tell her this is what we are doing from now on.Let her see it but not touch it.

When the bell goes off you tell her you want an apology and why.Simple and straight forward.When she says sorry,give hugs and let it go.
Consistency is the key.You must do this every time.

Being separated from you is what she does not want.

During the day when she is playing well and behaving give her lots of positive reinforcement*I like the way you are sharing your toys* or I like that you letting Mommy get her work done*.

Make sure she knows the rules exactly and you might want to start using a chart with stars for good behavior.

When she has picked up her toys 5 times without issue she gets a reward.One star for each time she does it when she has 5 ,then the reward.

You must always give praise for a job well done and explain exactly what is acceptable and what is not.

I was a preschool and kindergarten teacher and I know that consistency is the key.

My daughter does the same thing. She will be four at the end of this month. She has been having problems at daycare too about not listening to her teachers. I don't have any advice about the situation, I am listening to the other people who post as well. I just wanted to let you know that you are not the only one going through this. I am glad that I am not either. Good luck!

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Originally Posted by artlady

Children will misbehave for attention and they do not care if it is negative attention or not.

When you put her in the naughty chair,she is to be ignored.No talking ,no interaction from you at all.

Using a egg timer is a good idea so she can see how long she has left to be in time out. She also will not keep asking when she can get out.

A child her age it should be 4 minutes.Show her how the timer works and tell her this is what we are doing from now on.Let her see it but not touch it.

When the bell goes off you tell her you want an apology and why.Simple and straight forward.When she says sorry,give hugs and let it go.
Consistency is the key.You must do this each and every time.

Being separated from you is what she does not want.

During the day when she is playing well and behaving give her lots of positive reinforcement*I like the way you are sharing your toys* or I like that you letting Mommy get her work done*.

Make sure she knows the rules exactly and you might want to start using a chart with stars for good behavior.

When she has picked up her toys 5 times without issue she gets a reward.One star for each time she does it when she has 5 ,then the reward.

You must always give praise for a job well done and explain exactly what is acceptable and what is not.

I was a preschool and kindergarten teacher and I know that consistency is the key.

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We use a timer and I think that is the whole reason she likes the time out chair. For some reason she likes to hear the buzzer go off! I am going to try the chart that sounds like a good idea. Thanks!