My boyfriend (43) moved in with me a few months ago. His 18-year old daughter comes over to visit a couple of days/nights per week. They have always had a "touchy-feely" relationship. I have recently become very uncomfortable with their behavior of hand-holding, hugging, and walking arm-in-arm. I've accepted this behavior at our house (actually MY house), but it really bothers me when we go anywhere in public and they act that way. It makes me feel quite uncomfortable to be having to walk beside or behind them when we go in stores, in parks, etc. while they either hold hands or walk arm-in-arm. I have talked to him about this and expressed my feelings of discomfort. It seems to me that his daughter is very long past the age of such behaviors, and that he, perhaps, is afraid to see his little girl as growing up. Am I wrong in feeling that this is inappropriate at her age? She will be going off to college in just a few months, but in the meantime, I don't want to go anywhere in public with them together. Is there any other way to deal with this other than avoidance if it continues?

If you are unhappy with it, you may leave him. It appears he was honest and open and you were aware of this when you started dating.

This is just my opinion, but in some families people express things in different ways. I was personally never touchy-feely with either of my parents, but I know families where physical expression of affection (holding hands, 'cuddling' etc) are a part of daily life. Once she goes off to college that will likely lesson as she makes other friends and gradually forms other attachments, but I wouldn't assume that just because she's 18 she shouldn't be affectionate (and he with her-- it works both ways). If you can, I'd suggest holding out until she moves and see if it improves but ultimately you might just need to accept that they're a packaged pair? Sorry I can't be more helpful...

I am 29 and sometimes when I am out with my dad we walk arm in arm. There have been times that I felt asleep on my dad chest while we were watching a movie. My dad is not only my hero but my best friend and I grew up around love and affection.

I think you can't understand his relationship with his daughter and forbiddening him not to be that way towards his child is wrong especially since he has been this way with her for the last 18 years.

Let me ask you, when his daughter is around does he show you less affection because all of it is going towards his daughter? If so, I think your jealous of the between they share.

No one would and could never come between me and dad. And if someone tried, me nor my dad would be have that happen.

Because she only visits a few days/nights a week, and she'll be going to college in a few months time, I would opt for the skipping out on outings with them.

Or, make arrangements to meet them somewhere, i.e. a restaurant etc. Easy to make yourself 'busy'.

It is far better for you to skillfully avoid a situation which makes you uncomfortable, than to risk causing a problem between your boyfriend and his daughter, or them together, with you.

It may though, be like this all the time, and when she's home on vacation, or holidays, they may spend more time together, in which case, if it still bothers you, you may have to find a way to address it without offending them.

It will NEVER end. Even after college, even during spring breaks. But I'll tell you what - she won't do that when HER boyfriend is around all the time as when it's just you her daddy and her. You'll see. Yea you met them as a "package" but the "child" grows up for crying outloud! Take your place when you walk next to him. Let her walk behind you if she's a "child" or in front in a stroller. LOL later for that 'ish'. She's close to her dad but damn girl let go already of that arm. It don't look right either. Anyone looking at that scene - you walking behind them and them two arm in arm would take a double look... obviously not the norm. I'm affectionate with my whole family but I don't let my own mother walk behind me and my dad! Shoooot. Disrespectful. And your man is a dumbass. Let them two stay together and get out of this weird selfish relationship. One thing is you complaining of them loving each other and hugging every now and again and another thing is THIS... IT'S WAY TOO WEIRD AND they obviously don't see anything strange with it as some the people who responded to this question. Ummmmm IT'S F'N WEIRD. PLAIN AND SIMPLE.

I'm two years late on this but this scenario happens daily with people and they may not want to admit it but it's the daughter's way of making you jealous. I Guarantee if you were her mom - she wouldn't do that with you. Her dad should see that too. What's up with that too? He's probably likes people to see a young chick in his arms heck they don't know it's his daughter. I would feel creepy if that was my dad and people looked at me as IF. YUK. And I kiss and hug my dad all the time but I don't walk all over the place as if I was his woman. EWWWW that's freaky

It's not about 'getting in between" a daughter and dad. IT's that it looks creepy all the time to see that and his woman walking 5 ft BEHIND YOU. You wouldn't do that mess if YOUR BOYFRIEND WERE THERE! And let him walk 5 ft behind you and your dad. So don't play yourself. It's disrespectful and seems as though you would be trying to make his lady jeoulous for no apparent reason. Give her her place and step the f' back. Kiss you dad on your own time not 24/7... LOL it's weird and don't look right! Or even let your mom walk behind you and your dad all the time while you two walk arm in arm. BE REAL NOW.

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Originally Posted by liz28

I am 29 and sometimes when I am out with my dad we walk arm in arm. There have been times that I felt asleep on my dad chest while we were watching a movie. My dad is not only my hero but my best friend and I grew up around love and affection.

I think you can't understand his relationship with his daughter and forbiddening him not to be that way towards his child is wrong especially since he has been this way with her for the last 18 years.

Let me ask you, when his daughter is around does he show you less affection because all of it is going towards his daughter? If so, I think your jealous of the between they share.

No one would and could never come between me and dad. And if someone tried, me nor my dad would be have that happen.

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YOU'RE NUTS! Honest and open? SHE'S 18. NOT 12. Would you walk 5 ft behind your lady all the time while her son walks arm in arm with his mom? Package or not it's still weird at this point in time. Let go of the blankie for crying out loud. A daughter is no different from a son who loves his mom. Mamma's boy or not it don't look right. Not all the time. Affection is awesome but walking behind your man all the time is weird. NOT SEXY AT ALL. Everyone in the mall see this older woman walking behind this older guy and a yound chick in his arms... hahahahaha they don't know it's his daughter and it looks weird. Not the Norm. she wouldn't do that if HER MAN WERE THERE. I CAN BET ON THAT. Lol - THAT daughter is trying to make that lady jeoulous is all. And they chalkin it up to being affectionate? Get out of here with that.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

If you are unhappy with it, you may leave him. It appears he was honest and open and you were aware of this when you started dating.

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