Hi
I know that this is going to be a little long question. But I want get all my doubts clarified ASAP. Plzzzzzz help!
I am a Hindu girl and I'm planning to marry a christian guy. After years of struggle, we have finally convinced our parents and they are now ready to c us married. The main problem is my woul be in-laws are insisting that we should get married in a church and that I should get converted into a christian. I have strong faith in my religion (Hinduism) and I do not want to embarrass my parents any more. My parents (though unhappy) finally agreed to even church marriage but they requested not to convert me into a christian. But my in-laws are very stubborn about this. The marriage has been put on hold because of this. The guy wants to please his parents and he is also insisting in doing a grand church marriage. But I'm against it. Please let me know if there is a way to get married in a church (Roman Catholic) without being converted into a christian. Your suggestions are very important to me and I'm really lost.. Plzzzzzzzzzzz help..

Problem is "roman catholic" under this church it is highly unlikely that they will allow it.

You may need to look at the Uniting Church-or similar, they are Christian rather than strict catholics.

I think you are headed for MASSIVE problems getting involved with this religion-especially if you have to convert-Im sorry to say, I think you will HAVE to do the catholics way-they are very non-flexible.

I am a Buddhist and my husband is a Catholic... we got married in a Catholic church in US and I don't need to convert or anything..

Absolutely - you can get married in a Roman Catholic church without converting. OP needs to speak to a priest.

The in-laws wanting her to convert to Christianity is a different issue from where the marriage ceremony is performed.

Your in-laws may be putting pressure on you, but truly they cannot force and should not try to coerce you into converting.

You and your fiancé need to talk about this one-on-one. How does he feel (without his parents opinions)? Also, go as a couple to talk to his priest. Some Roman Catholic churches may not allow it without your conversion, while others might.

Ultimately, its YOUR decision, and no one else's.

It might also be a good time for you and your intended to talk about the possibility of having children. If you want to have a family together, their potential religious teaching should be decided upon before you take the plunge. Good luck to you!

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Originally Posted by LearningAsIGo

You and your fiance need to talk about this one-on-one. How does he feel (without his parents opinions)? Also, go as a couple to talk to his priest. Some Roman Catholic churches may not allow it without your conversion, while others might.religious teaching should be decided upon before you take the plunge. Good luck to you!

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Do you have a source for this? My understanding is that the RC Church allows all interfaith marriages - there are certain "rules" to be followed and certain promises to be made but I am not aware that they "may" not allow a marriage without conversion - ?

When I married a Catholic man, his parents too wanted me to convert.

In order to marry in the Catholic church, I had to agree to raise the children as Catholics. It was a promise I was required to make, and I did it. I was free to choose which religion I wanted to practise, but they were very clear that children of the union would be Catholic.

I did the Catholic thing, and the beauty of that was that they had balance. It was wonderful that they went to church with one set of grandparents, as they enjoyed going and spending time with them. The other grandparent had equally meaningful times with them. They were subjected to many points of view growing up.

So, to erase all doubts and satisfy everybody, go and visit the priest who will be marrying you. If the rules are still the same, and I suspect they are, your only requirement will be raising the children Catholic. They will not expect you to convert.

Yes you can get married without converting. I'm a catholic married to a hindu boy. We had a church marriage as well as pheras. My husband did not convert (nor did I want him to). And I did not convert ( nor did he want me to). Our parents wishes were secondary when it came to religion (for both of us). I guess your inlaws are unnecessarily putting pressure on you. Please sort this religion issue before marriage else you'll feel trapped especially if you are religious.

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Originally Posted by godislove78

Yes you can get married without converting. I'm a catholic married to a hindu boy. We had a church marriage as well as pheras. my husband did not convert (nor did i want him to). And I did not convert ( nor did he want me to). Our parents wishes were secondary when it came to religion (for both of us). I guess your inlaws are unnecessarily putting pressure on you. Please sort this religion issue before marriage else you'll feel trapped especially if you are religious.

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This is wonderful news for me. I am a christian and want to marry a hindu and neither of us are bothered about the religion factor by my father is.. and wants my love to convert his religion. I hate it but also don't want to lose his relationship. If there is a way to have a interfaith marriage in church that would be great but the paster of my church didn't mention such a point and even wanted baptism done 3 weeks in advance to wedding etc and is creating a whole lot of trouble. Can you please tell me what sect of christianity this was and if possible, which church this was?

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Do you have a source for this? My understanding is that the RC Church allows all interfaith marriages - there are certain "rules" to be followed and certain promises to be made but I am not aware that they "may" not allow a marriage without conversion - ?

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Do you know what these rules and promises are? I am from India and here they really create problems like crazy for a interfaith marriage close to ruining the relationship. It would be great if I could know the rules.

Priests can not be forced to marry anyone they feel should not be married. So some may find they have to go over the priest to the Bishop and they normally will not push the issue to force a priest to if they do not wish to.

Sometimes churches will discriminate.

When same-sex marriage became legal in Canada, some priests and ministers refused to marry them.

There were challenges made to this, and ultimately, the churces relented, in light of the Canadian Charter of Rights and Privledges. You cannot deny same-sex couples marriage in any church, simply because they are same sex. It is illegal.

Another thing to consider when marrying into a faith that has you make certain promises, is that there is pressure when children start school, to convert. I found personally, that I was not invited to religious planning activities with the children like the Catholic mother's were, for example, when they made rosary necklaces, or when they were preparing for the sacrements.

In addition, when there were parent meetings regarding the sacrements, a few of us were admonished for expecting our children to have all the benefits of the religion in their school, yet we did not commit ourselves to convert.

So what I'm trying to say is, while it may not be a problem right now, or indeed a problem getting married, at some point when children are involved, there will be conflicts, and you need to be prepared to deal with them. It can all work out in the end, it did with me anyway, but just beware of this being not as easy as you may think.

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Originally Posted by godislove78

Yes you can get married without converting. I'm a catholic married to a hindu boy. We had a church marriage as well as pheras. my husband did not convert (nor did i want him to). And I did not convert ( nor did he want me to). Our parents wishes were secondary when it came to religion (for both of us). I guess your inlaws are unnecessarily putting pressure on you. Please sort this religion issue before marriage else you'll feel trapped especially if you are religious.

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I'm aggrey to GODISLOVE advise ,religion don't matter if u love n care to him

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Originally Posted by Jake2008

Sometimes churches will discriminate.

When same-sex marriage became legal in Canada, some priests and ministers refused to marry them.

There were challenges made to this, and ultimately, the churces relented, in light of the Canadian Charter of Rights and Privledges. You cannot deny same-sex couples marriage in any church, simply because they are same sex. It is illegal.

Another thing to consider when marrying into a faith that has you make certain promises, is that there is pressure when children start school, to convert. I found personally, that I was not invited to religious planning activities with the children like the Catholic mother's were, for example, when they made rosary necklaces, or when they were preparing for the sacrements.

In addition, when there were parent meetings regarding the sacrements, a few of us were admonished for expecting our children to have all the benefits of the religion in their school, yet we did not commit ourselves to convert.

So what I"m trying to say is, while it may not be a problem right now, or indeed a problem getting married, at some point when children are involved, there will be conflicts, and you need to be prepared to deal with them. It can all work out in the end, it did with me anyway, but just beware of this being not as easy as you may think.

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Actually yes churches deny this all the time, I am aware of several personally.

The other are correct you do not need to convert to marry in the church. Your in laws are very stubborn and somewhat unreasonable I feel by marrying in a church you have gone far and beyond your beliefs and you made a BIG sacrifice for them already. Why are they now trying to force you to convert?
You should also decide how you plan on raising your children, which faith to follow, cause they may force you also to baptize your child into the catholic faith, this is a possible future glimpse of what lies down the road!
Lay all your cards out on the table now, to avoid future trouble. Don't let these inlaws push you around with their "Christian beliefs"

Good luck

Hello ,
U problem is not married in church or other place . Its matter of his love and your religion which you only decide to whom you love more him or religion . Because question still be there after marred in church religon change what your in-law want and love of your religion .
I think you n he must come out some solution of this problem by talking each other .

I am having somewhat of a similar problem.
I was reading somewhere that a christian man can marry a non-christian woman but it is his obligation to have you convert (as a true christian). The priest can withhold marrying you two if he wishes to but there is no where in the bible that says he should marry you or should not. I think this is basically a power trip from your would be in laws.

Out of curiosity, how do the 2 of you plan to raise your children? Christian or Hindu? How do you plan to avoid the different beliefs that the 2 of you have can cause major strain on your marriage and can even cause divorce?

Have you married yet, I noticed this was posted back in April?

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Originally Posted by Golden_Girl

Out of curiosity, how do the 2 of you plan to raise your children? Christian or Hindu? How do you plan to avoid the different beliefs that the 2 of you have can cause major strain on your marriage and can even cause divorce?

Have you married yet, I noticed this was posted back in April?

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I married into another religion; it didn't cause a major strain or cause a divorce.

It depends on the people involved and their agreement on how to raise the children.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I married into another religion; it didn't cause a major strain or cause a divorce.

It depends on the people involved and their agreement on how to raise the children.

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I agree, that is true it will depend on the individuals. May I ask what are the religious beliefs of you and your spouse?