Ask Me Help Desk - My boyfriend needs time.

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 9 months now and I love him more than anything in the world.. I have liked him since grade 8 when we dated for not very long at all, and he moved far away. I moved on and I started dating someone new, once my boyfriend moved back he wanted to be with me ( we had feelings for each other the entire time he had been moved away but couldn't do anything about it ) and now we just broke up recently and it was really tough, we bothed balled our eyes out for like 2 days, I'm still crying I'm sure he is too.. our relationship has had a lot of fighting lately and for him his feelings have not been the same for me I guess the fighting has pushed him away, he wants time away from the relationship because he can't handel the stress.. ( he gets like ulcers in his stomach and bad things ) and is already going through a lot in his life ( debt, etc. ) he also doesn't really want to talk and we don't see each other or anything, its been 5 days now and I'm going nuuuts, I realize I shouldn't text him causei t will just push him away but I only text him when he texts me which is sometimes. He also wants me to try and be happy and do things for myself and he wants to do the same, he has anger issues in our relationship and always gets mad and that's also why we fight, so he wants to sort that out, he tells me not to dwell on us getting back together, but it is definitely possible and may happen you never know what will happen in the future he says.. he loves me and I love him so much... I miss him and need him back :( help plzzzzz

Your feelings for him will never go away. That's the way of things with first love.

But you don't "need him", you just want him. You haven't bothered truly allowing for anything else.

I've loved 4 women in my life. I remember the first 3 vividly. VIVIDLY. They helped make me who I am. Each taught me much, but each taught me things the others could not. And the total of all I learned benefited my last, enduring love.

True love isn't something you get, it's something you give. When your love is not returned in a joyful way, then it's not true love.

Learn what you can, remember it, then think of him fondly, but you're going to have decide that your real life love is out there waiting for you to go through all you're going to go through on your journey to him. It is most likely several relationships away.

Time to get on that path, the sooner the better.

You need to focus on finding your core, because right now your focus is on him and that isn't good for your own emotional well being.

You have broken up twice? Did I read that right? How old are you both?

I think you might want to find yourself and take this as a warning don't push yourself on him because you might find yourself hurting more then what you are now.I I think you should find you some friends that you love to be around and try taking your head off him.Try calling other friends when you think about him and talk to them that will help you get your mind off him. I hope I help thanks

Quote:

Originally Posted by JBeaucaire

Your feelings for him will never go away. That's the way of things with first love.

But you don't "need him", you just want him. You haven't bothered truly allowing for anything else.

I've loved 4 women in my life. I remember the first 3 vividly. VIVIDLY. They helped make me who I am. Each taught me much, but each taught me things the others could not. And the sum total of all I learned benefited my last, enduring love.

True love isn't something you get, it's something you give. When your love is not returned in a joyful way, then it's not true love.

Learn what you can, remember it, then think of him fondly, but you're going to have decide that your real life love is out there waiting for you to go through all you're going to go through on your journey to him. It is most likely several relationships away.

Time to get on that path, the sooner the better.

I agree well put together... give it time and pray and it will be OK!