My current boyfriend and I have been together for two and a half years. In September we moved into an apartment together. He is quite a bit older than me and has 3 children, and has been married 2 times both ending in divorce. Lately we have been fighting a lot and when I asked him what was wrong he told me that all I do is bi*ch at him and nag. I don't think that is all that I do. I know I do complain sometimes because he works one job and that is all, his children are all grown up and in college and out of the house. I on the other hand have to work a full time job, go to night classes during the week for college, and then come home and make sure that the house is clean. I don't think that it is too much to ask that he do a little housework.
We went out of town to see if that would help our relationship any but as soon as we came home the fighting started right back up. I told him that maybe I am not happy and that is why I nagging or bi*ching all the time. He then asked what I was unhappy about and when I bring up house work or being stressed out because I do everything he says to get over it and stop being a baby.
I know that we both have feelings for each other and proabably love each other but how can we stop living like this. It is horrible. Can someone please help.

The two of you need to come together and talk. Talk without placing blame. Talk about what your expect with each other. Set some rules and talk in a civil matter.

You can say " It would be make me happy if you can help me around the house". Don't say " You never, Why won't or can't you". Basically don't make it sound like a command and don't yell. You have to talk to him as if you was talking to a child. In a smooth, calm voice.

Sadly, if your can't solve your disagreements through communication, the relationship won't last.

We tried to talk about things and we could not communicate so we broke up. Thanks for your help.

I think he needs to work on himself before getting in other relationships. I'm glad you decided to end it. Hope u have ebetter luck in the future!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by CallMeBel

I think he needs to work on himself before getting in other relationships. I'm glad you decided to end it. Hope u hav ebetter luck in the future!

---

I have to agree with you. This guy has had not only one but two failed marriages, and who knows what failed relationships he has had.

I believe that after a certain point he gets bored, or even scared that the relationship has lasted so long. It could be anything from commitment issues, where he has a certain "time period", to abandoment issues, where he leaves you before "you leave him".

I do believe it is best for you to stay out of this relationship and also spend some time growing as a person, jumping to another relationship [if you happen to want to] will only carry the problems you had with the last guy-- plus sometimes you just need a breather!

Enjoy single life, it isn't going to last forever.

MRS.S

I know the result already but still have to add.

Your post gave plenty of insight as to why this man already had two failed marriage's. Also, you stating that you probably love each other is also another indication that this may not be the knight in shining armor you'd had hoped he was.

Anyway, good for you, I'm positive everyone's advice would be to do what you've already done.

Thanks everyone for all your responses and great advice. I do not plan to have another relationship for a while and hope that he and I can one day be friends.

Correction on the greenie: were not where.

What the heck is wrong with me today.

MRS.S

From what I've read, I think that you made the right choice to break up. Someone with 2 divorces in their past is obviously not going to be an easy person to get along with.