:cool: Im 21 have a boyfriend who does not know I fake, sex is OK but just starts to hurt after a while I am really attracted to him I don't think its his problem it is me I've never climaxed before with any other partner, not even when masterbating it feels OK but I just get bored after a while and it sometimes brgins to hurt & feel uncomfortable. Please help

Difficulty with masturbation means either you don't know what to do to make yourself get there, or your mind is so not into it that you cannot get there, or there's some other underlying problem.

My partner admitted to me, after I asked her, that she's only once or twice climaxed in the missionary position in her life, as in with all partners counted. She enjoys it. She doesn't fake (so she says, and I believe her... were pretty open about when things are clicking or not... if I don't get her there shell tell me I have unfinished business to take care of later) so I knew I had never gotten her there in that position. Generally she needs to be on top to have more control and more stimulation of both the cl1toris and the g spot. A few other positions can work from time to time, but they all involve multiple stimulations, and in some cases, she needs to self stimulate while I'm inside her to get there. There was one position I favor that never worked for her at all (for almost 4 years) until she began to self stim while we were having sex. She also dislikes some breast stim at the beginning, but it can be powerful to push her over the edge.

Can he get you off orally? If you aren't directing him during sex, then probably no... since this also takes work and input from you concerning what you like and timing and all.

Have you tried a vibrator to push the self stimulatin over the top. Really, if you don't know what you like, its hard to tell him.

I guess the best I can say is when my partner and I are having problems climaxing, the thing that usually makes it work is changing stimulations. You body have more than a few sensative areas, and when the stimulations are altered, or timing is changed, it should bring you closer to getting where you want to be.

Also, do you always make it about him? Have you tried not pleasing him and solely focusing on what feels good to you and not waiting until he's done.

And, of course, what about foreplay. By the time you have sex are you well lubricated and also MENTALLY there? If lubrication is a problem, and it might be since you mention pain, that's an easy fix. The mental side can be hard, especially when you have a history of it going nowhere.

Plus... faking it and not talking to your partner are really bad ideas. You are setting yourself up for this, to some degree. You really don't want to fake it, do you? Then you need to talk to him about trying some other things.

And just so you know its not only you, here is a recent posting. There are others like it.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-...asm-31822.html


What are your thoughts or answers?

I agree a few inputs from KP. Also it really varies from person to person. I don't masturbate myself I can't seem to understand satisfying my own and used vibrators and dildos and found no such luck desperately. I need a living being making me happy LOL. But then again mine is manmade LOL. You do might want to take control at some point or when you begin the ritual **wink**. Just to adjust your comfort and confidence. It helps a lot to loosen yourself. Me I'm very tight. I always try to control first especially if you never had sex in 3 mons. LOL. You may have depth problem and its going to be tough for awhile. You just have to weave it around to avoid discomfort. I'm sure once you get used to it you can manage it freely without having to wait minutes. It could also be emotional aspects. Something happened in the past can easily trigger your discomfort and fear. Just be calm and always remind yourself that you will enjoy. Hope this helps.

I suggest pleasuring yourself... learn different techniques in order to get to know yourself, your body, and get familiar with the feelings. It takes practice, but don't give up. You can make it fun with your partner. I also don't suggest faking it... at least not ALL the time. :) Use this time in order to get to know yourself. You will be thankful. And do will your partner.

Oh, and RELAX!!