The exact problem is that I've never been in one. I'm 27 years old and never had a boyfriend or have ever had sex. I've tried going out, my friends have tried setting me up but nothing has worked. I've been on a couple of dates but I never get a call for a 2nd date.

I did see another thread on this website about this exact issue but my problem has a very different element. I have Psoriasis. It's an auto-immune disease that just happens to affect my skin. It causes my skin cells to grow way too fast. In an average person, it takes 28 days for skin to rise to the surface but with me, it takes only 3 days. It can also cause arthritis--which I was diagnosed with at 23. I've had Psoriasis since I was 4.

I've already been on the National Psoriasis Foundation website with this issue but most of those people either were diagnosed in adulthood after they got married and such or can still find relationships despite their skin. Me, on the other hand, can't seem to have the same result. According to my doctor, my case is relatively mild... of course to me, it's a lot worse than it probably is.

It's so hard to see all of my family and friends married or dating while I'm not. I'm so lonely and no one seems to understand. It's not fair... I've tried online dating but that hasn't worked either.

I'm using the meds the dr gave me for my skin but they take 6-8 weeks to work if they even work at all (Tonight will be day 3--stupid mail order pharmacy... they should be outlawed... they must be stopped). Why is it that men will date a person who doesn't have any outward problems but will treat them like crap but won't even give someone who has a condition out of their control who will be good to them the time of day?

I hope someone will be able to help me. Thanks.:o

Sweety. Nothing is wrong with you. Your perfect. Guys are just holes and very pickie theses days.. I have a guy avaulable for you if you'd like... he's in his 30s and he's looking for a relationship. He wants to settle down and have a family.. interested?

Hahaha... not sure about the whole getting married and children thing... I haven't even had a boyfriend yet, or even made out or anything... geez that's really pathetic isn't it? That's a little much but thanks for the thought.

I would like to know why... the psoriasis thing is out of my control... I can't even remember a time when my skin was actually clear so it's always been there. I know that people are afraid of what they don't understand but this is just plain wrong. I've heard everything about how the right guy will come along someday... but NO one is coming around and I'm tired of waiting.

Hi Crazyred- I am sorry to hear this is bringing you down. I can only say what I am sure others have told you already. That there IS someone out there, PLENTY of people that will accept any condition you have. Do NOT think there isn't.

The best thing you can do is try to be happy with yourself and make yourself SHINE. When you go out be a positive energetic person! Get involved with as many activities as you can, support groups, organizations, etc.. Put yourself out there. Trust me- you don't WANT those guys that can't see past your skin.. The person who is going to take an interest in you is not even going to notice your skin, they are going to learn about YOU. You are NOT defined by your psoriasis.. remember that!!

I don't know if this will help you but I looked up a few websites that may be of interest to you.. you may have read them all 100 times, but hope it helps a bit..

Keep your head up please!!

PsoriasisConnections.com: Dating
A Guide to Dating With Psoriasis - Psoriasis - Health.com
Psoriasis and Dating - Living Well With Psoriasis - EverydayHealth.com

Thumper

I have actually been through all of those websites but they only apply to people who are in relationships or have been in one... they don't really apply to me.

I've gone out, I've tried putting myself out there but all the men there only aknowledge my friends. It's like I'm not even there. They see me and they are immediately turned off.

Well, I don't want to make assumptions, but it sounds like you're letting your psoriasis rule your life. It doesn't have to define you unless you let it.

The truth is, you shouldn't need someone to make you feel good about yourself. Until you feel good about yourself, until you're truly satisfied with you as a person, you shouldn't expect someone to do it for you.

You're clearly a caring, emotional person. Focus on the good things that you bring to the table.

Psoriasis Support Group - DailyStrength

National Psoriasis Foundation Support Groups

I hope these links are a couple that you may not have tried yet.

I hope one day you will find someone who is beautiful enough to see the beauty that is yours.

You can always become an expert here and answer questions.I have met so many nice people here and you never know,you just might meet someone who could be the one.
I hope you think about it,join us!

I can't help but to let it define me. It's been there almost my entire life, I don't remember ever not having it. Now I've been dealing with the arthritis part for the past few years. How can I show what good things I have when no one will give me a chance?

I'm already a friend on the NPF message boards and believe it or not, they don't understand. Most of them were already married by the time they were diagnosed or they were lucky enough to find someone willing to look past this disease. It's not like you can avoid seeing it.

I don't know what kind of expert I can be... how can I offer advice if I haven't been there? This isn't fair and I just want to know why.

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I knew when I was typing it that what I was saying wasn't going to be easy at all. I was just saying that you do have good things going for you, and if someone can't see your inner beauty, if they can't look past your skin, then they weren't worth it anyway.

Someone will love you for you. It will hurt if you focus on looking for that person. I know that from personal experience.

Take refuge in your friends, your career, or your hobbies. I know it's not fair to have to work past this, but I think that a confident person, successful person is an attractive person.

All I'm saying is you can't let it bring you down your whole life. I know, that's easy for me to say, but it's the truth.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by CrazyRed06

I can't help but to let it define me. It's been there almost my entire life, I don't remember ever not having it. Now I've been dealing with the arthritis part for the past few years. How can I show what good things I have when no one will give me a chance?

I'm already a friend on the NPF message boards and believe it or not, they don't understand. Most of them were already married by the time they were diagnosed or they were lucky enough to find someone willing to look past this disease. It's not like you can avoid seeing it.

I don't know what kind of expert I can be...how can I offer advice if I haven't been there? This isn't fair and I just want to know why.

---

No ,it is not fair. It would be presumptuous of me to say I understand because I don't.

I think you would benefit by joining a support group in your town and if there isn't one,you could start one.
Many churches are willing to let you use their building to hold support meeting of various types.
Community centers also are willing to do this free of charge.
It would give you something to occupy yourself and at the same time you would be helping others.When we help others we are taking focus off our own problems for a time.

I don't know if you attend church but it is also a good place to interact with people and share fellowship.

I hope you will seriously consider starting a support group.I think it would be good for you in many ways.
I hope the very best for you and if you ever want to talk about anything there is always someone here to lend an ear. Even if it is only a virtual one :)

Sweety. Your fine the right guy will come along. And about the whole not kissing or making out thing that. That's normal. Not patitic. Guys think that's hott. Trust me..

He'll come around. Don't trip... he's out there somehere looking for you...