I am on a crossroad and need help. I have been dating a lady for a few years. She has a baggage yet I love her and want to marry and settle down with her. Our wavelengths match pretty well. However, she is not going to give me a child of my own and I want a baby, she is does not believes in Lord Jesus though she prays to God, marrying her, would save me from from going under more debt, she has good and steady job. I know the Scripture tells us to yoke with believers only. On the other hand, I can marry another lady, who has no baggage, she can give me a child, I do not know her well yet, I would be under debt on marrying her for sure, she would be coming from another country, hence she would have to struggle hard to get a stable job which she would not have for few years, she believes in Lord Jesus.

I have very strong faith on Lord Jesus. I am very thankful to HIM for all the blessings HE has given me and for all the care HE takes of me. HE is on te driving seat of my life. I had been praying for my marriage. Even if I do not get married, HE is for sure going to use me for some of HIS purpose. In last few months to seek a direction, I had been taking something happening as a sign of Lord Jesus' approval on my marriage. And at three instances, those signs told me to marry the non-believer.

How wrong or right is it to take something as a sign of Lord Jesus' approval on crucial decisions in life?

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Originally Posted by Triund

And at three instances, those signs told me to marry the non-believer. How wrong or right is it to take something as a sign of Lord Jesus' approval on crucial decisions in life?

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The Lord's approval? Or is it more that the unbeliever will save you financially?

Maybe there's a third possibility out there.

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How wrong or right is it to take something as a sign of Lord Jesus' approval on crucial decisions in life?

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That's up to you and your faith. Everyone's beliefs are different. Some people believe in signs, others don't.

The fact that you are thinking of marrying a women you hardly know because she can give you everything you want, except financial security, is sad.

Do you really think God would want you to marry someone based just on religion and your needs and wants?

What about love? What about commitment?

To me, marrying someone just because they can give you what you want, even though you don't love them, is the worst sin you could commit against God.

That's my take on this, but the choice is yours.

Good luck.

You have said nothing about friendship. All you can talk about is children? That to me is very sad. When the children are all raised and living lives of their own, what will you have? Loneliness? Sadness? Stay single and work on yourself first, then start working on relationships with people who can/will fulfill you as a person of God.

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Originally Posted by 450donn

You have said nothing about friendship. All you can talk about is children? that to me is very sad. When the children are all raised and living lives of their own, what will you have? Loneliness? Sadness? Stay single and work on your self first, then start working on relationships with people who can/will fulfill you as a person of God.

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Children and money.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

The Lord's approval? Or is it more that the unbeliever will save you financially?

Maybe there's a third possibility out there.

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Today on Mar 31, 2009, at 1:35 p.m. she can give me financial stability, but I do not know what is going to happen at 2:00 p.m today, or next month, or after a year and may be she won't be in a position to make any single penny. We humans can not see beyond our nose. Only HE draws and sees the whole picture of our lives.

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Originally Posted by Triund

Today on Mar 31, 2009, at 1:35 p.m., she can give me financial stability, but I do not know what is gonna happen at 2:00 p.m today, or next month, or after a year and may be she won't be in a position to make any single penny. We humans can not see beyond our nose. Only HE draws and sees the whole picture of our lives.

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That has nothing to do with anything, her losing her money. If we don't know what the future holds, marry the Christian woman.

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Originally Posted by Triund

Today on Mar 31, 2009, at 1:35 p.m., she can give me financial stability, but I do not know what is gonna happen at 2:00 p.m today, or next month, or after a year and may be she won't be in a position to make any single penny. We humans can not see beyond our nose. Only HE draws and sees the whole picture of our lives.

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So you only really want her for the money, that's it? If she lost her money then you wouldn't even consider her?

Wow, tell her this, I'm sure she'll make the decision for you.

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

So you only really want her for the money, that's it? If she lost her money then you wouldn't even consider her?

Wow, tell her this, I'm sure she'll make the decision for you.

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Hey... did I sound like that I want to marry her for money? If that's the case, I would had been married to her by now and would never had reached at this crossroad.

Yes, it sounds like you want her for her money.

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However, she is not going to give me a child of my own and I want a baby, she is does not believes in Lord Jesus though she prays to God, marrying her, would save me from from going under more debt, she has good and steady job

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I would be under debt on marrying her for sure, she would be coming from another country

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Today on Mar 31, 2009, at 1:35 p.m. she can give me financial stability, but I do not know what is going to happen at 2:00 p.m today, or next month, or after a year and may be she won't be in a position to make any single penny

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Yes, if she was poor I doubt you would even give her another thought, sorry but those are your own writings,
The importance of money and a child, and not a word about love, or feelings.
Really, unless this is an arranged marriage in a culture that does not marry for love, both people don't seem like the right choice.

You need to marry somebody because you love them, and want to be their life partner through good times and bad times. You say that Jesus the lord guides you but, I do not see that right now.
Of course it is good that you get others views here and maybe give you a wake up call that you need.

And of course I will add, if and when you do marry, you are honest as to the reason, esp to yourself.

It sounds like you are trying to justify the one lady you don't really want to marry, 1. you should not be at a point with two, this is not a dating TV show, if you were seroius enough with one, there would not be a second person as even a maybe.

I agree Chuck and Joe.

Money is never a good reason to consider marrying someone. What happens if she loses her job? Is she out of the running to be your wife then?

Does she know that you are considering someone else? Does she know she's only being considered because she has a job? Does the other lady know that you are currently in a relationship with someone else?

You're fooling yourself. God can't make this decision for you, it's on your plate.

Triund,
You shou;d be mote oncwenws about what you can give in a marriage moy what you can get.
Mary for true love. Jesus gave His life for true love.
When you merry you should be willing and read to give your all to that union and the woman should be readty yp give her all.
Children should come from such a union and be raised in a Christian environment of love,
It appears to me that you are not ready to mary either one of the ladies you mentioned.
When you find a woman to who you love so much that you are ready and willing to give her your all then you will be ready to become ONE with her.
Peace and kindness,
Fred (arcura)
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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

The importance of money and a child, and not a word about love, or feelings.
Really, unless this is an arranged marriage in a culture that does not marry for love, both people don't seem like the right choice.

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You are right. It is the cultural thing that other lady has come up on the scene. Nobody from my side is saying yes for the first one. I love her for the kind of person she is, the qualities she has.and my love for her is not for money for sure. I had a beautiful escape route to walk away from her after enjoying her for couple of years and I would not had been talking to you folks.

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How wrong or right is it to take something as a sign of Lord Jesus' approval on crucial decisions in life?

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My religion does not approve of signs or omens as they are considered superstition. Yours may be different.

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she can give me a child, I do not know her well yet,

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There are never any guarantees that she will be able to give you a child.She could be infertile for all you know.

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she would be coming from another country, hence she would have to struggle hard to get a stable job which she would not have for few years, she believes in Lord Jesus.

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I am assuming you met on the internet and she may be a believer but she also may be a woman who is looking for a man to help her get out of her country and will say anything to get out.Including a false belief in Jesus. There are many scammers out there so you should be warned.

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Originally Posted by arcura

Triund,
You shou;d be mote oncwenws about what you can give in a marriage moy what you can get.
Mary for true love. Jesus gave His life for true love.
When you merry you should be willing and read to give your all to that union and the woman should be readty yp give her all.
Children should come from such a union and be raised in a Christian environment of love,
It appears to me that you are not ready to mary either one of the ladies you mentioned.
When you find a woman to who you love so much that you are ready and willing to give her your all then you will be ready to become ONE with her.
Peace and kindness,
Fred (arcura)
.

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Thanks friend, for this suggetions and advice. I am sorry if I could not make myself clear enough in my earlier writings. Again I would say that job and money is not the base of my liking or love for her. Could someone please give me some suggetions on how to bring a non-believer to Lord Jesus? I have been praying for her and telling her about my experiences and blessings with her. I have been showing her the Christian programs on TV and online sermons by the pastors and sharing stories of people's faith on Lord Jesus with her hoping that she would recognize the love of God for her.

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

I agree Chuck and Joe.

Money is never a good reason to consider marrying someone. What happens if she loses her job? Is she out of the running to be your wife then?

Does she know that you are considering someone else? Does she know she's only being considered because she has a job? Does the other lady know that you are currently in a relationship with someone else?

You're fooling yourself. God can't make this decision for you, it's on your plate.

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I do not hid things from her whether it is a brilliant thing I did or the most stupidiest thing I said or did. She knows about the other lady.

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Originally Posted by artlady

My religion does not approve of signs or omens as they are considered superstition. Yours may be different.
There are never any guarantees that she will be able to give you a child.She could be infertile for all you know.

I am assuming you met on the internet and she may be a believer but she also may be a woman who is looking for a man to help her get out of her country and will say anything to get out.Including a false belief in Jesus. There are many scammers out there so you should be warned.

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts.