What actions should I take on a girlfriend who's confused?
I have a girlfriend who I've been dating for almost a year now. As of last week, I noticed she was having doubts about me and wanted a break... and then it turned into a breakup. She went out with her girlfriends later that night to celebrate one of their friend's birthday and then to the clubs afterward. The day after on Saturday, I tried stopping by her place but she wasn't home so I hung out with a friend of mine nearby. I knew she was going clubbing that night with her girl friends again so I went out to a different bar to get my mind off things. Later that night, I received a phone call from a friend that she was dancing with another guy and ended up making out with him. I called her up immediately and yelled at her for about half an hour. All she could say was that she was sorry and she feels guilty inside.
The couldn't sleep the next morning so I ended up driving over to her place a few hours later. We talked about it and lots of tears were shed. She feels guilty inside and don't know if we could be together again. I (being the idiot that I am) told her that everybody makes mistakes and everyone deserves a 2nd chance. I asked her who the guy was and eventually found out. I was willing to take her back because I love her that much. After much talk, we ended up hugging, kissing, and even had sex again. A few hours later, she had to leave for work but her mind was still confused if she still wants to be with me. She asked for a few days to think it over. I also asked if she was interested in the guy she kissed and she said no. They were just friends.
Later that evening, I talked to her on AIM and it was a slow conversation as though she was talking to other friends too. It was a normal conversation as though nothing happened. In the end, I told her that I loved her. She said not to say these things just yet because she's still confused. I ended up telling her I was willing to fight for her until the very end and this is why I'll continue to be that loving boyfriend that I promised to be. She didn't call me that night.
Tomorrow morning (which is today), I received a text from her saying that she misses me. I told her that I missed her too. I asked if she was happy and she said she doesn't know, but she has work from 9-1. She just wanted to tell me that. I was curious so I signed on to her mobile account information online to check out her call/text logs. Surely enough, her and her guy friend has been texting each other back and forth throughout the whole evening last night. This is the moment I finally realized what the problem was. She doesn't want to be single to be free from someone, she wants to be single so she could talk around.
I called her up after work and told her that I realized some stuff and everything makes sense now. I told her that no girl in a relationship wants to break it off that easily unless there's someone else in the mix. She didn't admitted at first, but I explained to her that it was the only logical reason why some girls are confused to whether they want their boyfriend or not. She finally admits that she does like the attention and she doesn't feel that attracted towards me as much anymore. I told her that I did not want to be some sort of 3rd wheel and she is going to have to choose what she wants. If she wants me, she'll have to delete him and not contact him anymore. If she wants him, I'm leaving for good and won't contact her anymore. She asked me why I'm fighting for her and I explained that I believe that she's worth it and that I love her that much (maybe it's just my emotions saying it). She wants some time to think about things so I left it at that.
All of this happened in a 3 day process so the problem is still somewhat young. She will most likely contact me later and talk about things. Now, this is where I need your advice. Do I continue to threaten her that if she wants to talk to him, I will leave? I need to reassure her that I am not willing to be a friend that sits around to comfort her. I do love her a lot, and I do want things to work out. If she's still confused at this point, should I start the No Contact rule? Maybe it would make her miss me. At this point in time, I don't want to make the wrong moves myself and lose her forever.