Hello, I am a twenty year old male that is new to this site. I have recently broken up with my girl friend of two years. She broke up with me because I pushed her away because I took the relationship for granted and did not always express myself in a positive way. I said some stupid things that I did not mean and pushed her away to a point of breaking. She first put us on a break, a little less than 4 weeks ago. She said "I think I like someone else". She said she needs time to figure stuff out. I agreed and let her have her space. Then a little under two weeks ago she ended it completely. She did however say that she made up the other guy thing to hurt me because of what I made her feel by pushing her away and saying stuff that was hurtful ( I am not angry at her for this because I deserve to feel this way to understand what I made her feel like).

So any way, we go to different colleges two hours apart and visited each other frequently and talked on the phone every day more than two times a day for the past two years. Once she ended it I was very hurt and tough to swallow. I have not made contact with her for a little over a week or gone onto her Facebook and have moved all items that remind me of her out of sight. Then at one o-clock in the morning a week after the break up I get a text message from her number, reading "How are things" I think about it and respond with "good and how are things with you?" we small talk for two more text messages and it was awkward. I know no contact means no contact but I don't know what to do.

I want to show her that I do care and love her full heartedly but I don't want to push her away any farther. How do I not crowed her space but also show her that I care because the reason she dumped me was because I took her for granted. I would love to have our relationship come back around but I know time is what she needs. I feel that I have a better understanding for the influence my actions have on her and it makes me sick to think that I caused her so much pain to push her to break up with me. I am remorseful for the way I have made her feel and wish I could take it back. Is no contact the best idea? What should my course of action be? Thanks for your time I am confused and am really looking for any advice I can get. I am deeply in love with this girl and don’t want to lose her from my life.

The best thing to do is complete No Contact , that means not answering texts etc. This way she MAY start to miss you and change her mind.

She already knows how you feel about her so no need to try and re-assure her , that could just push her away further.

Good Luck!

That's what happens when we learn our mistakes after the fact, when its to late to change things. I imagine the break was hard on you both, and suspect she was only checking on you, so you don't forget her, and move on.

No Contact is a good idea, as she has to make up her mind without your influence, and you need to heal from the break up. That's your first order of business, and every contact she makes with you, will only give you false hope.

Its her choice to come back to you, and you should get your own act together in the meantime, in case she doesn't.

Its up to you to forgive yourself, and get over your guilt trip, and stand on your own two feet, without her in your life.

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Originally Posted by Gibby6627

She broke up with me because I pushed her away because I took the relationship for granted and did not always express myself in a positive way. I said some stupid things that I did not mean and pushed her away to a point of breaking. She first put us on a break, a little less than 4 weeks ago.

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I find it strange that she did not warn you before breaking it off? I mean if there is a problem don't you talk about it before breaking up? I find some women so immature for not saying nothing and then just dumping the guy with no warning just to make him feel bad or punish him. Sorry to tell you this but it seems like your girl has a low interest level in you. I just went trough the same thing as you. I lost my job and became negative and low self confidence. And one day she called me and dumped me over the phone.

Dude just go no contact, and don't feel bad for what you did, if she leaves you for stupid reasons like that, what's it going to be when you have bigger problems in life, she going to look for the first exit again? Ignore her, tell her you met an amazing girl and you never argue with her and your thinking to either go with the new girl or come back to her and your not sure. You need to figure things out. Tell her you want a reliable and loyal woman.

Play the game she's playing with you. She has no right to put you on a break. A break should be a mutual choice, not ''her'' choice. This shows clearly this relationship is based on her terms. And she decides if the relationship is on or off. Don't let her have this control on you.

You must turn the situation in your favor, you must be in control of the relationship, not her or else every time something will emerge of negative in the relationship, she will want to break or break up.

If you have any questions feel free to ask me.